A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, Am I completely insane/ loosing it/ marbles gone missing... to get over the guy that I love I made an imaginary guy up in my head to replace him.It's actually helping me not to think of the guy I love, but I get worried... am I getting carried away. I don't talk out loud... its only during night times when I think of this imaginary guy... It's daydreaming... nothing else... but the scary thing is that I look forward to daydreaming of this imaginary guy... This imaginary guy is all the things I want in a guy... but I'm not totally cut off from the world either... It's just my way of escaping the guy I love... but is this a healthy way? Do I have an undiagnosed mental disease? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, SallySoMe  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Hey don't be so hard on yourself!
Its just a clean decent coping mechanism. Good for you!
A
male
reader, sommerslover +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Using your imagination is alot better than using drugs or drinking. Plus, once you meet someone new, the imaginary guy will be gone. So, I don't think there is anything wrong with having an imaginary guy. Ever hear the song "Imaginary Lover" ?
...............................
A
male
reader, zayn +, writes (14 December 2008):
 wow, unique. not a bad idea: to have a boyfriend in the head. just don't get too far gone with the fantasy. but ya know, i might try the same technique. thanks!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Nope, your completely safe. I'm actually really glad somebody else thinks this way too. I used to be exactly like this, I created a fantasy guy for myself as well, but it went way beyond just using him as a filler for when my heart was broken. After a while I really started to think that I loved this person and that he might actually exsst somewhere in the world and that we were communicating through telecanisis or something (haha, it was really stupid now that I think back on it) But it was just a phase and I grew out of thinking that way in about a year or so. I actually still think about him though, on a daily basis actually. It's as if he's become a perminent part of my consciounce. But the point is, I got over my obsession, believing he was out there somewhere, and fantasizing about this character did not affect me in an un-healthy way. In fact, he helped me relieve a bunch of stress.
...............................
A
male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 I'd say that by posting here you realise that you've gone a bit too far with your daydreaming, and it's bordering on tipping over...
Getting over people is hard; and there's nothing wrong with imagination. But I think you need to go out and start socialising and engaging more with people again.
If you spend too much time in your own head daydreaming about this "guy" who has "all the things you want" then it may morph from simply being a person to stop you thinking about someone else; and you may begin to expect the real men that you meet to possess the qualities of your imaginary man. And no-one is perfect, be it man/woman/animal/alien.
Just go out and start meeting real men again...and the moment you meet someone you like is the moment you will forget about the guy broke up with, and the imagined one you replaced him with.
Living a real life is better than living an imagination one!
Take care
...............................
|
