A
female
age
30-35,
*eather016
writes:I think I got rejected in the past because I'm not very good-looking. I used to have a best friend whom some guys think, is pretty and they often talk to her with me, standing by her side, ignored.I have a huge issue about being ugly or looking ugly. I'm obsessed with beauty so much I spend hours on the internet to find ways to look better. I know beauty fades within years and it won't last long but I hate being ugly.Is this normal? What should I do to deal with this? I don't ever want to get rejected for being ugly, ever again. It's traumatizing.
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male
reader, saltwater  +, writes (2 May 2010):
 You don't need to trawl the net for beauty tips, as the most important things you can do are to make sure your personal hygiene is tip top, wear clean clothes and keep you hair nice and clean, coupled with a warm smile :-)
It's those aspects that are far more important than any beauty advice that can be given.
If you're being ignored, bring yourself into the conversation; be assertive, don't wait for others to do it. Maybe those guys used to think you didn't like talking, and so they ignored you for that reason!
So ditch trawling the net, make yourself look presentable, go out and wear a nice smile and be friendly, and great things can happen. If you get rejected, so what? It's happened to everyone. You just move on. But you're certain to get reward in the end.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2010): This idea of beauty fading, I've never rally agreed with it, my friends who are good looking always have been and those who aren't can't change, I don't mean this in an unsuportive way, although I can see how you might think so, I think it's probably best if you accept you don't like the wayyou look, but, work on what you can change!! Eg body!! And when your stood around and people are talking to your friend just throw yourself into the conversation or go over and talk to guys, they don't allways hve to come to you!
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A
female
reader, Sakuchanz  +, writes (2 May 2010):
No it's not normal. It's very unhealthy. This is coming from someone who's been in the same boat.Do you know what the secret to what attracts a guy? You've seen girls you don't consider pretty getting guys etc and if you haven't, they're out there. What about girls who seem to "look good in everything even if it's just sweat pants and their hair is tied back"?Confidence is the key. If you feel good about yourself, it shines through, and guys pick up on that. Instead of looking up 1001 ways to look better, why not spend some time on how to get some confidence? This verse always helps me Song of Songs 4:7 where God says "You are altogether beautiful. Beautiful in every way".You might not believe in God, but the person who created us thinks we're beautiful. Outer beauty isn't everything. Most of the time those pretty girls you see are the most unhappy because they don't see who they really are. They're nothing but a pretty face.
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