A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My husband has a friend I am extremely attracted to physically. I think he feels the same about me. My marriage over 23 years is OK not spectacular. Should I act on my attraction? Not looking for an emotional relationship just physical. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Share Bear  +, writes (26 July 2009):
To be honest, this question completely baffles me. It seems so obviously 'no' that I don't know why the OP has even asked it? -Is it just to be told what you already know?
I can't think that you actually expect anyone to say yes, so maybe this is just a way of checking/ stopping yourself from reading the harsh answers?
If you want a definitive answer, why not ask your husband whether he thinks you should proceed to act on this? -I assume you wouldn't go behind his back, right? -that be dishonest, remember?
Alternatively, remind yourself that What's good for the goose is good for the gander- if this is okay for you, be sure to inform him that he's about to receive new benefits to play away from home as and when he likes as a result of your doing so. Would you be okay with that?
If you're serious about this though, you should explore any chance of saving your marriage through councilling, and failing that, commence divorce proceedures before you act on any such feelings as these.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): OH! Hahaha.. so completely betraying your husband and life's basic morals, not to mention breaking the law (adulty) is OK, as long as no one finds out?
Is it ok for a little kid to steal from his mom's purse when he knows she won't suspect him of it?
~Sy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): Everyone assumes there is a high probability that the husband will find out. In reality that may not be the case, if the husbands friend is married then this would likely be a closely guarded secret. I he is not married I would say the risk would be greater, and the feelings afterward probably different. These things do happen all the time and are kept in secret. You only live life once and won't have many chances to build pleasurable memories. So I say weigh the risk and other variables to determine if it's worth it. If it is, then discuss the conditions with him first and go for it! Throwing in the towel on a long marrige first is really another issue all together.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): Everyone assumes there is a high probability that the husband will find out. In reality that may not be the case, if the husbands friend is married then this would likely be a closely guarded secret. I he is not married I would say the risk would be greater, and the feelings afterward probably different. These things do happen all the time and are kept in secret. You only live life once and won't have many chances to build pleasurable memories. So I say weigh the risk and other variables to determine if it's worth it. If it is, then discuss the conditions with him first and go for it! Throwing in the towel on a long marrige first is really another issue all together.
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A
female
reader, noonespecial2  +, writes (26 July 2009):
Ho would you feel if your husband did this to you with one of your friends? Humiliated perhaps??You will need to weigh up what you will gain against what you could lose. You may lose your marriage, create a lot of hurt and your husband's friend may not want you in the end.Have you thought about how your husband would feel? His wife with his friend, of all people. Do you really feel ok about yourself being a betrayer and a cheat? not only to your husband to yourself as well. Could you live with yourself and feel good about who you are?I would assume that there are issues in your marriage that are creating this. Placing more energy and effort into resolving these issues may rekindle your marriage to be better that it has ever been. My suggestion is that if you wish to be with another Man then end your marriage, otherwise you can use this opportunity to make your marriage better. Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): One night of pleasure will equal an eternity of hell. the consequenses are not worth it. Use your head not your sexual organ. There is way too much to lose. Instead try to spice things up with your husband again. Get the romance going.
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A
male
reader, lonestarchalk1 +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Your the one has to live with the consequences of your actions, along with all parties involved, if the pleasure is that valuable to you, then go for it? My guess is the misery will outweight the pleasure 10/1 once it's all over with. Follow your heart, not your feelings.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): I'm not sure.. i've been having a debate on my own. Maybe you can help?:
Should i break my husband's heart, disappoint my family members and friends, ruin another man's family as well, destroy a friendship between a man and my husband, make my kids see me in a whole new and very dsappointing light, break up my marraige, live forever with guilt and shame, make any more relationships in my future difficult to form because of my past.. and all for one night of fun?
~Sy.
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Seek counseling in your relationshiup before you take a drastic, immature and selfish step of cheating on your husband. Once you cross that line, you are not worthy of your husbands love, or anyone's respect. Be a damn adult!
Its common sense. Try thinking about somebody else other than yourself.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 No, you shouldn't act on your attraction. Morals aside, you're inviting a hell of a lot of problems. Emphasis on "hell".
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