A
male
age
36-40,
*mk5260
writes:hello,I am 21 and have been in a relationship with a girl for a little over a year. We were coming up on our anniversary with the titles as boyfriend and girlfriend. she just just broke up with me last wednesday because she fell out of love with me. I stopped showing and telling her that I appreciate her and afterwards I realize it. I always wanted to do nice things for her but we a re both in college and work so money is short and so is our time. I always treated her pretty well aside from making her feel continually appreciated. WE never cheated on one another and the relationship was usually pretty good aside from petty bickering on occasion. Anyways, she contacted me today, a week after the break up, and told me to stop talking to her aunt whom I was seeking advice from. I definately overstepped the boundaries with that move. I want to let her know that I understand I was wrong with making her feel as she did and I want to get the best chances of getting her to come back. Aside from giving her space, how can I do that? How long should I wait before writing a sincere apology letter if at all? I did apologize on the phone when we talked and I told her I know I didn't do everything right and that, given the chance, I would do things differently. What can and should I do? Does this situation sound hopeless? Please help me, I really thought she was the one!Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, noonespecial2  +, writes (30 July 2009):
Hi there,
Ask what makes her feel appreciated and what were the things she believes that you contributed to the relationship breakdown.
Don't argue with her reply, just listen. If you get upset and disagree, keep that to yourself. You can decide latter if her feedback is valid or not.
This information will be your only chance of getting her back. You must take on board what she says, attempt to work on the areas she's highlighted. Don't just say sorry as sorry is empty without the action to demonstrate it. If that doesn't work, you have information you can use to improve your next relationship.
Make sure her reasons are valid though. You deserve to be treated well too, it's not all about her.
It seems you have taken accountability for talking to her Aunt, yet it is a big no no to discuss any issues about her or your relationship with any of her family and friends.
Good luck.
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