How can I communicate with my partner so that we can have a better relationship together ?
Q. I have a few questions. First, how do I communicate so he can't turn every problem around on me? Why can't he try to see and fix his faults for good? (He changes for a few days then goes right back to normal...) Why won't he stay home with ...
A. 16 May 2007: Thank you for asking all your questions here, sister.
I will give you one sentence answers to each of them.
First, you communicate with your partner raising one problem at a time and saying WE instead of YOU.
"Why can't he try to see and fix his ... (read in full...)
I think one of the tennis pros really likes me! What do you think?
Q. I play at a tennis club and i really like one of the pros there the only problem is he's 8 years older than me, (me being 16,he 24) im not sure or not if he likes me or not, but he talks to me alot, always asking a lot of questions about how the ...
A. 16 May 2007: It would be interesting to know why category here is Dating.
This question should be located in "Age differences" instead.
Anyway, there are two possible ways for agony ants to treat questions of such type here on this site.
Since age of consent a... (read in full...)
He can be selfish at times and enough is enough! How do I make him understand I am serious?.
Q. Just looking for a bit of advise. My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 2 1/2 years now. I know its perfectly healthly in relationships to have up's and downs but at the moment i'm finding things hard. I've expressed how I feel to him and ...
A. 14 May 2007: Actually there are different patterns of relationship.
In wave-like relationship type you have ups and downs.
However, this is not the case with the situation you are now.
Some relationships begin as troubled and continue as such for a while unti... (read in full...)
When I asked my bf, if he took his female friend to a soccer game, he reacted very strongly! What's going on here?
Q. My boyfriend is being protective of his female friend of his for some reason and I dont understand why. While I was out of town, he took her to a soccer game, and then when I asked he was reluctant to say but threatened our relationship to be over. ...
A. 14 May 2007: Well, there is an emotional connection between them.
All the rest here will only be based on assumptions.
I can interpet his actions in different ways depending on his type of personality or preferred pattern of relationship.
Lack of trust may be... (read in full...)
When she drunk she comes onto me sexually! Is she bi-sexual..like me?
Q. hey, i'm eighteen and bisexual. recently, me and my (straight) best friend, have been doing stuff together such as fingering and kissing. but it tends to only happen when we're drunk, and i highly doubt she can ever remember any of it because she n...
A. 14 May 2007: "should i tell her the things we do when we're drunk?"
She told you she's straight, and you should believe her.
Advice about "i'm scared to tell her my true feelings":
Regardless of whether she has such tendences, probably she doesn't want to disc... (read in full...)
Should I continue talking to my friend even though she hooked up with the guy that I liked?
Q. Well I like this guy who is just awsome.He cares about me he doesnt want me to skip school or hang around with bad influences.So this guy also talks to my friends.Well a couple days ago my friends called him and he went over their house.Well him and ...
A. 14 May 2007: "I really dont want to talk to my so called friend"
Since you wrote this, it is clear what you should do.
Neither of them have called you after that, and you should not be the first to call them.
I suppose that your friend knew your feelings for... (read in full...)
My now ex-girlfriend wasn't ready for a relationship, but I feel broken. What can I do?
Q. Hey my girlfriend and I have been going out for like for months and we would always say we loved each other and in the easter holidays she went away for a week and then when she came back and told me that she was not ready for a relationship and it ...
A. 20 April 2007: Okay, I feel the need to explain to you what happened.
When she came back said that she is not ready, right?
Probably your relationsip was thoroughly discussed by her extended family during that reunion.
As to "she just doesnt want to be tied down... (read in full...)
We have all the same hobbies but she's posh and I think she likes my friend!
Q. I have recently met a girl who is 16 and im 17 she lives about 75 miles from me. I couldn't believe it when i met her, we have the same hobbies and are even both left handed, everything fitted. I have seen her for about 2 weeks and going to see her ...
A. 20 April 2007: "She likes my mate but they dont have anything in common."
I guess this phrase contains your incorrect understanding.
Or maybe she is the one who likes any guy / every guy? (...)
Anyway, back to your question: "What do i do. Is this love?"
No, ... (read in full...)
We were friend before, now we've split, he said he was sweet with being 'just friends' but he is ignoring me!
Q. I had a boyfriend who was my best friend before we got together. but only a few weeks ago we split, but as we were friends before the split, i asked if we could still be friends-he said yes. But when i see him around school and say hi to him and ...
A. 20 April 2007: The guy just cannot switch to friendsip that fast.
For some guys the transition may take several years.
He needs to get over his feelings to you at first; after that if there is his will, he may become your friend.
Now about him ignoring you... (read in full...)
I slept with his mate now he won't talk to me! Is it my fault?
Q. I still love him.. There was this boy who i really liked, we had a little thing going on and he felt the same for me. He used to mess me around and say he would meet me but never would. A year on i still really like him i cant get him out of my he...
A. 20 April 2007: The truth is boys do communicate with each other.
I think he knows that you slept with a mate of his.
He is not talking to you at the moment and this is normal; he could have dumped you by the way.
Why you slept with a mate of his? - There must b... (read in full...)
How do I stop wondering about my gf's past relationships?
Q. I know its none of my business, but I cant help but to wonder about my girlfriend's past relationships (what all she did with them). Why do I do this, and how do I stop?...
A. 17 April 2007: Your girlfriend's past relationships is her past.
It's part of her experience and belongs to history.
She does not refer to that in her thinking when she is with you, and you should not do that either.
Back to your question: "Why do I do this, and... (read in full...)
She 's older than me and is concerned about that. How can I show her that age doesn't matter?
Q. I have been in love with one of my friends for a while now. I am sixteen but she is 20 months older than me. She says that she finds me attractive and if i were the same age as her she would get with me. How can I show her that age doesn't matter?...
A. 17 April 2007: You have been in love with a shallow girl.
That is my understanding of your situation.
However, the question here is whether you should understand what she says literally.
If yes, then you can't show her that age doesn't matter.
If no, she fo... (read in full...)
I fell for her hard and I want a chance to be with her! Tell me what I can do?
Q. Thank you in advance for your answers. It all started about a month ago...after I just broke-up with my gf and exactly on the same day she broke-up with her bf. We were complete strangers, almost complete strangers. I met her at a school event a f...
A. 17 April 2007: This sounds like you have a crush on that singer.
At the moment she treats you like you are her fan.
"I want to be with her and take care of her, give her the best, spend a lot of time with her, share romantic moments"
Right now she is not looki... (read in full...)
We broke up and then he was seeing someone else, he said he still loved me and we should get back together, but then we rowed and he went back to her, Should I just let him go ?
Q. I am basically really messed up right now! I was going out with my ex for over 2 yrs and then he went away for a year and is still away, we broke up and he started seeing another girl, then when he came back home for a month we both still really ...
A. 16 April 2007: Even if he is confused, probably he will not be with you.
I would rather advise you to stop waiting around for him.
As to the things happening between you two every week or so, the decision must be up to you.
If you are ready to dump him right aw... (read in full...)
Been dating 2 months and hes still checking his online ad, do I have a right to tell him to stop ?
Q. I met this wonderful man (we will call him - Man) 10 months ago. We hit it off right away, about 4 weeks in to the relationship a woman approched me and told me to leave him because he had a singles ad on the internet and was checking it everyday. I ...
A. 16 April 2007: I guess you need to have a serious talk with Man.
Ask him why after 10 months the ad is still there.
Before doing this please think about a woman who approached you and told you to leave him.
Maybe she is somehow interested in him or maybe she ha... (read in full...)
This guy has me really, really confused..can anyone help me out?
Q. im totally confused about if this guy has any feelings for me. we are not in a relationship, we are very close friends. but that can also be questioned, coz when i first met this guy i was interested in him and i thought he was too, and thats why we ...
A. 14 April 2007: Key to understanding: "neither of us been in relationship before... im scared of losing him, im in love with him".
And one more: "he sends me kisses all the time, calls me hun and sweetie... he called me "my dear".
Both of you have very little e... (read in full...)
My love is fading fast for my computer addicted bf! Help!
Q. my b/f and i have been together for 3 and half years, he started playing this pc game that never ends. and now our relationship is goin down because he so addicted to the computer. we always argue because he can't control himself,and he says he will ...
A. 14 April 2007: Right now you start playing this pc game with him.
Otherwise you lose his attention and love will fade.
Now about "we always argue because he can't control himself".
Are you talking this about lack of his attention toward you or maybe there is som... (read in full...)
Still in love with my ex gf! How can I show her that I will take care of her?
Q. Is it ok to still be in love with my ex. [that i still love] but am trying to get over her, and started trying to move on, so im started to like some one else, but there is this one problem she likes this other guy, but wait i was talking to my ...
A. 14 April 2007: She doesn't know well what guy she wants or likes.
That is the real problem for you in this situation.
I believe you can take care of her and you can treat her right, but is this really what she wants?
Another question: "Is it ok to still be in ... (read in full...)
Our beliefs are so very different, Im scared to lose his frienship, but I really want more than that!!
Q. I'm 15 years old and have never been a very religous person, just raised that way I suppose. But now I'm falling for a guy who is LDS and very religous(I'm talking WAY strict). We havn't officially started dating however we have building up a good ...
A. 14 April 2007: I will answer your question from the point of your age.
14 to 16 is a period to form your own system of values.
This is the time when you socialize a lot and begin interested in politics and religion.
"Happy teen" is a fiction nowadays; it... (read in full...)
Is there a relation between extroversion or social confidence and sex sppeal or vanity?
Q. Is there a relation between extroversion or social confidence and sex sppeal or vanity? I seem to think of two to be the same based on the way i am conditioned in my culture. Would like to know views of others about this.....
A. 14 April 2007: I am sorry to say this, but you are being misled.
This approach is marketed to a part of the world.
Further explanation may provoke discussion whereas the purpose of the main site is to help people.
Discussions on approaches to interpreting... (read in full...)
What can I do to make his first night back romantic?
Q. hi guys, Havn't seen my bf as he's been away visiting family for a few weeks and i want to do something special for him when he gets back. Was wondering if i could get some ideas to make our first night romantic and let him know i missed him! Wha...
A. 12 April 2007: Here is a good starting point for you:
http://www.rinkworks.com/romantic/
Your question is however: "What do guys want?"
That depends on what type of guy your boyfriend is.
I will not generalize, because as it turns out all generalizations ... (read in full...)
She's going to a different university. Do I end it now or carry on?
Q. I met my girlfriend just as I left for college. I was enrolled at the Univeristy of Nebraska at Lincoln, and I am still attending. My girlfriend now wants to go to college... she is going to the University of Nebraska at Omaha instead... I am ...
A. 12 April 2007: I think you should start a long distance relationship.
Because if you care so much about her why not do this.
As far as I understand, the distance is not that big - both universities are in the same state.
You say: "The problem that I have is that... (read in full...)
I'm a black woman in NY, and I have a thing for white men, trouble is I dont seem to be their type around here! Any advice ?
Q. Okay, so I am not sure how to deal with this... I am a 32 yr old single black woman in NY. I am also a single mother. For some reason lately I seem to find myself more and more attracted to white men. Now I know there is nothing wrong wi...
A. 11 April 2007: Racism is really a problem on International scale.
It's not limited to your area, state, or country.
We cannot change it; let's focus on your problems here:
"I am older now, and a little wider now...since my son"
"I am tall (almost 5'9) and... (read in full...)
I want her to be more affectionate, shouldnt she be comfortable being affectionate after 2 months ?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for 2 months. She is really self conscious, and she even admitted it. She and I have held hands, etc, but at school she doesn't like anything else but hugging. I respect her space and comfort, but I really ...
A. 11 April 2007: Affection and Love are two different feelings.
Only in classy relationship they come together.
I think this has nothing to do with her being comfortable around you or 2 months period of going out.
This is just her way to express her personal fee... (read in full...)
How can I be more outgoing around girls and become friends with them?
Q. I haven't been in a relationship since before the summer of 2007, and I really want to find a girlfriend, someone that I really care about. But I just don't have that many female friends. How can I be more outgoing around girls and become friends ...
A. 11 April 2007: Your expectations for a relationship are too high.
It sounds like you want all the three in one person:
#1: girlfriend; #2: someone to care about; #3: female friend
Although you can learn to be more outgoing around girls, one thing does not lea... (read in full...)
Do I take a chance and have freedom or choose the secure lifetime with my bf?
Q. I've been in a relationship with a great guy for over a year. I'm 21 and he's 27. The courtship was wonderful and we moved in together about 6 months ago and we were engaged earlier in April. But we started having problems shorty after our ...
A. 11 April 2007: Skip the part "the things that I should be doing at my age"
It's a completely different story; the rest is relationship.
Who ended the engagement? I guess you - it makes more sense.
He thinks that now as you are alone you will make a decision.
M... (read in full...)
I have a crush on my fencing teacher but I think he likes me too.
Q. Dear Readers, I have this crush on this guy who is about five years my senior, and he is one of my fencing coaches. I have a crush on him, but I haven't told him yet! Also, I think he has a crush on me too, because when my parents signed me up for...
A. 11 April 2007: What you should do depends on what you expect from it.
Speaking about crushes - they last months, not years.
Feelings like this either fade or develop into something else.
Most probably he knows that you have a crush on him - there is no need for ... (read in full...)
Should I make the next move on him?
Q. hiya, im 16 and have become really close to this male mate of mine last year we had massive fall outs and arguments but we have dealt with them and have now recently become really close mates, and more i think. We spend loads of time at school t...
A. 6 April 2007: I think that you should make the next move.
"a girl recently asked him out and he sed yes"
This means that he expects girls to make first moves for whatever his reason is.
However "he doesnt seem interested in this other girl that he is going out... (read in full...)
Someone help me get rid of these visions!
Q. ok this may sound a little bit weird,I am 20 years old and have just got my first girlfriend. This girl was quite a good friend of mine before we got together, and then she told me she liked me I felt the same and we got together. Before we got ...
A. 6 April 2007: Oh brother, I see that you are really in trouble.
The statement that past is history will not help.
"I keep getting visions of her with with those other guys"
When you feel you start experiencing this, immediately focus on something different.
... (read in full...)
My bf keeps complaning he sees me too much, We have now rowed about him not seeing me over easter!!
Q. I have this bf and we'v been dating for almost 2 months. The thing is his always complaing I take up much of his time and he doesn't have time alone. We see each other on sat and sundays and sumdays during the week for an hour or he will sleep by ...
A. 6 April 2007: No, I don't think you are over protective.
I do think he is more introverted than you.
This explains why he complains you take up much of his time and he doesn't have time alone.
What you should think about is why "last month he lied to me and sa... (read in full...)
He has left his GF to be with me, were in love, but hes off to the army in September!! I dont want to be witout him!!
Q. Dear aongy aunt i really need your help, i think i'm in love. He has left his girlfriend for me, were so close and he makes me happy i feel special when i'm with him and he is leaving in september to the army! i need some advice cause i can;t ...
A. 6 April 2007: You love him or you think you are in love?
Never mind, you will be more confident soon.
So starting from September you will be in your first long distance relationship.
He has left his girlfriend for you, he makes you happy, you feel special with... (read in full...)
We arent allowed to be together! And now she's been sent away! What can I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 16months so far and I can't live without her and we were'nt allowed to be together but we just couldn't let each other go and her uncle stalked me and her in his car to my house and now she is being sent ...
A. 6 April 2007: You need to keep in touch with her all the time.
Long distance relationship is still a relationship.
Sometimes we have very little choice in our lives, and this is one of such situations.
As to "she may be pregnant": you are far away from her now... (read in full...)
If hes not sure if he loves me after 9 months will he ever be sure ?
Q. I've been dating my boyfriend for over 9 months. I recently told him I loved him, and all he did was hug me and didn't say anything back. I gave him about 2 weeks to absorb what I said, and then I finally asked ended up asking him how he felt ...
A. 5 April 2007: No, in fact it doesn't mean he'll never be sure. It can mean different things; I don't know him. You definitely should ask him what's the difference between "I love you" and "I like you". If you receive any answer from him, think whether it's ... (read in full...)
I want friendships with guys to be just friends!! How to I break off the friendships with the guys are after more!?
Q. I'd like to be good friends with normal (!) guys like some of my girlfriends manage to do, but the guys always want more. How do I break off friendships with guys who want more or won't accept no for an answer? Almost every time I see my male ...
A. 5 April 2007: The situation you are in now is quite common, even typical. You deal with it depending on your definition of Friendship. In life there is a thing called in your definition "friendships with guys", but there is always an underlying reason why they ... (read in full...)
I know he loves me alot, but get the feeling I'm holding back!!
Q. hi, my boyfriend and i have been together two years, sometimes we say we'll get married in the future etc, hes all "you and me baby you're gonna have anything you want we'll be so happy id give you anything!" silly stuff ya know! but sometimes i ...
A. 5 April 2007: I could easily reply to this question saying that your boyfriend doesn't want a Commitment, but it's not true. Here is a difference between you two as to what this relationship should be like in the future. If you're gonna get married, you bot... (read in full...)
How do I find a guy who's worth while without looking desparate?
Q. the guy I love is in a relationship. I know it's gonna be so hard for me to see them together and knowing he's with her when I'm somewhere else. I want to find my own guy, but not just any guy. Most guys in my city are complete idiots and the most ...
A. 5 April 2007: Let's start from the beginning of your story.
You wrote: "the guy I love is in a relationship"
It means that if you go looking for another guy right now, you are most likely to fail; recovery is needed first.
Probably you are looking desperate to... (read in full...)
How do I stop my boyfreind feeling insecure?
Q. How do i stop my boyfreind feeling insecure?...
A. 5 April 2007: This question is too philosophical as it is now.
Please write back here and give more information.
At least describe how your boyfriend is feeling insecure, about what or about whom.... (read in full...)
Ive been sleeping with another guy, he wants to end it, do I know come clean to my BF ?
Q. Hi. I have been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. In November, I started sleeping with a guy from my class, he has a girlfriend of 6 years. We both know that it has to stop sometine. We get on really well and recently he said that when it does stop he ...
A. 5 April 2007: It depends whether you feel you are ready for that.
You cannot predict his reaction; it can be whatever.
He can dump you, he can forgive you, he can test you - different guys react differently to such situations.
What you should learn for yourself... (read in full...)
How can we both learn to trust one another more?
Q. Hey, I'm pretty confused about myself that is anyway, I don't know whats the matter with me. I have this amazing girlfriend that I love and have done for quite some time now but I'm worried that due to me being so insecure she may leave me, we're bo...
A. 3 April 2007: The most important thing that must be in every relationship is sufficient amount of Communication.
Without it there is no relationship as such at all - even if there are feelings they lead nowhere.
Communication is also needed to build trust in... (read in full...)
Is there such a thing as "Love at first sight?"
Q. I'm 13 and a girl from new zealand came in to town now ive known her for a while but i havent seen her since i was very small, i like her but she is about 16. Is there such a thing as love at first sight? even so a 16 yr old and a 13 cant hook up, ...
A. 3 April 2007: The decision to ask users their age at registering caused more problems than expected.
First, some users when asking heavier questions are forced to pretend they are older.
Second, some users when asking lighter questions are forced to pretend ... (read in full...)
What am I to him at this moment? Just a crush?
Q. hey hey... i would like to ask.... theres this guy that likes me and i like him... we havent met but have only spoken over mxit... but dont worry he's not one of those dodgy poeple.. he's one of my freinds freinds... the other day we wer...
A. 3 April 2007: At the moment you are both just friends.
It doesn't sound to me like he loves you.
Here is not enough emotional involvement to make it work.
You wrote: "if i were to meet him if we were to become more than freinds".
In that case my answer would ... (read in full...)
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