A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been in a relationship with a great guy for over a year. I'm 21 and he's 27. The courtship was wonderful and we moved in together about 6 months ago and we were engaged earlier in April. But we started having problems shorty after our engagement...Money was tight, I wanted more freedom, he began to lie to me about school and where he was during the day...Eventually it became to much and we ended our engagement... This became a problem for our church and families and while discussing this 3 days ago he kicked me out of our apartment because unmarried or unengaged couples shouldn't live together...Now he wants me to come home and I don't know what to do...I love him so much and part of me wants to settle down with him but the other part of me wants to have fun and go out and experience the things that I should be doing at my age....please help me... Do I take a chance and have freedom or choose the secure lifetime with him?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 It seems you were looking for a way out before things got really bad, by wanting more freedom.
It sounds like you both need to talk about your goals for the future. If he is lying to you, can you trust him?
Only you can decide where you want to be right now. If you are getting itchy feet now, what are you going to be like further down the line? Would it be fair on him if you ahave second thoughts 6 months down the line?
Being married/engaged does'nt mean you cant have fun and do the things young people do, it will just mean you will have someone there to share these experiences with.
Priotise your life. Write a list down on a piece of paper without thinking too much about it what you want and then decide how much of this is viable.
You can do anything if you put your mind to it you have but you have to be 100% behind any choice you make; whether it be giving the relationship one more go or going out and enjoying your life on your own.
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 Skip the part "the things that I should be doing at my age"
It's a completely different story; the rest is relationship.
Who ended the engagement? I guess you - it makes more sense.
He thinks that now as you are alone you will make a decision.
Maybe only several days after is too soon for you to decide whether you want freedom or the secure lifetime with him.
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