A
male
age
36-40,
*k06
writes:I met my girlfriend just as I left for college. I was enrolled at the Univeristy of Nebraska at Lincoln, and I am still attending. My girlfriend now wants to go to college... she is going to the University of Nebraska at Omaha instead... I am concerned because UNL is a far better school, and it costs the same to attend both places. I have stayed with her my entire freshman year because I care so much about her. The problem that I have is that I'm nervous of my time and effort being wasted... Do I wait to see what happens? Or end it now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007): Stay open, "Lincoln". You don't know all her reasons. Have you asked her much about why she wants to go to Omaha? It may be a family thing. Tradition or something. Or maybe it is other friends, and she feels she will be more comfortable in her freshman year with other close girlfriends. Or maybe your opinion about which school is the "best" is not the same as hers. It may have something to do with where she feels her major study interest would be best for her. Or, perhaps a scholarship is involved. You leave a lot out. Talk with her more and come back later. At any rate, Lincoln and Omaha are only ninety minutes or so apart, "as the crow flies". So, it is not like she will be "out of reach". My first sig other and I went to different colleges after high school, but not too far apart. We stayed very much in touch. Stay cool. Ask questions. If you perceive a desire on her part to lessen the "seriousness" of your relationship, take it as a good thing to have learned early, and get on with your own life. I know you didn't want to hear about your being very young, but at my age it is hard to resist. (smile) Best wishes. Tom
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Hi rk06,
I would wait if I really did love the other person and feel his/her commitment is with me. Why not try it and see? Just take it easy and see how it goes.
All the best
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A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (12 April 2007):
 I think you should start a long distance relationship.
Because if you care so much about her why not do this.
As far as I understand, the distance is not that big - both universities are in the same state.
You say: "The problem that I have is that I'm nervous of my time and effort being wasted..."
Life teaches us that if you miss occasions like this, you may later regret about it a lot.
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A
female
reader, chrissy32789 +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Dear rk06,
Wait and see what happens if you two went through all freshman year all the way up to collage then just wait...dont ever think that you are wasting time on a girl that you care about, cause no matter how far you two are away you will still be able to work it out you may not be able to see each other as often as you do but you two can always call each other and see each other on weekends and once collage is over for you guys and you get good jobs then you can live in a nice house and have alot of good things together. think of it this way atleast she is going to collage its not like she is going so far away just because she wants to be with friends...well good luck and keep it going it will be hard but you can do it
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A
male
reader, DrCynic +, writes (12 April 2007):
 Well, to put it in perspective, at least you're in the same state with her. I go to college here in Pittsburgh. My girlfriend goes to one in San Bernadino. That's almost 3000 miles... We stay together and see each other when we can...
Might I suggest you talk it out with her. If you can't see yourselves together any longer, then end it... But if you guys have got the ability to stay together, I wish you nothing but the best.
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