A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:im totally confused about if this guy has any feelings for me. we are not in a relationship, we are very close friends. but that can also be questioned, coz when i first met this guy i was interested in him and i thought he was too, and thats why we kept in contact, esp after he asked me out. my friends say, we are in a relationship, but one where we just aint been out togther. i feel committed to him.background info may help. we met whilst i was on a two week work placment. we got on straight away, and was always helping me. he treated me differently to the way he treated other people that worked there. he asked me lots of questions. he asked about my family, marriage, and what i want out of life. he told things about his family that i thought were quiet personal. he said im not like most girls, i am very like his sister. we exchanged numbers. on my last day, he told me to come and see him before i leave, and i did, he asked me for my number coz he forgot to save it the day before, i felt like he wanted to say something to me but he didnt. he just said keep in contact.few weeks went by and i went to the office to see one of the girls that worked there, i went to lunch with her and aked is "guy" wanted to come, he did. he asked me about my hol as i went away. the girl then went back to the office, and he had to go somewhere and asked me to come with him, i did. on the way, again he asked me lots of questions. he asked me what i thought of him, i said i didnt understand, he said whther i thought he was a nice guy, i said yes. he then wnet back to the office and i wnt home, but first he grabbed hold of me and gave me a hug. he held me for ages. he then asked me out, and i said yes. i said i'l call him later in the week to arrange. this was on a frion the mon, i say him again to give him something, this wasnt our date. he then asked me out again, but said it had to be in a few weeks. i said thats fine. just call me to arrange. on weds we met again, this time we both went to recruitment fair that i told him about. we spent most of the day togther. he put his arm around me and we both looked at each other but nothing happend. he then asked me out again, but i ahd to go to uni, so we didnt go out. few weeks wnt by, and he calls me, telling me everything that has happened, since i last spoke to him. from that day we spoke every week and sometimes 3/4 times a week. we was great. we met few times, but only for about 20-30mins. it was great, but that was purely as friends, there was no touching etc. the only thing was he couldnt look at me, abd keep eye contact.he asked me to accompnay him on some business but i cudnt go as i had exams. after knowing him a few months, his dad had a cancer scare, he told me, and i was there for him. i told him that my mum also had one, and that i'll be there for him as i know what he going through. he dad got all clear and he rang me straight away to tel me. and asked me to go the cinema with him. but i had exmas again.he then started to apply for jobs, he had no luck here, so started applyng in another city. he asked me what i thought, but i didnt say anything, he then said it will only be for few years, then move back home. i said thats ok then. when he got his job, he rang me that nite to tell me, but i missed his call. the next day he rang me again telling me this, and said he wanted to share his news with me yest. this was now about 3months ago. he now starts his new job next week.during feb time, i had some importnat exams, and he helped me with my rev. i aksed him again, he told me to call him later, i did and then he didnt reply (he is a bad communicator). i didnt contact him for days, then he calls me saying sorry. he always says sorry again n again when he knows doen soemthinfg wrong.we hadnt reali spoken to each other for abt 4/5 weeks. he texted me on his last day of work, as i didnt know that. he like me to know everything abiut him. he then called me to tell me that his sisters getting married.last week he texts me abt 5.30am telling me he cant sleep. at first i was like y u waking me up. but then i thort must be sumtin up. he said he cudnt sleep, coz thinkin about his new life and move ever closer. i have no idea, why did he text me, after weeks of not contacting me. i contacted him in those weeks and got no reply. now he has gone cold on me again. is coz he doesnt feel anythin for me? but then what happend before? he dont want LD relationship? or coz neither of us been in relationship before, that he scared? coz im scared of losing him, im in love with him.he sends me kisses all the time, calls me hun and sweetie. and when he used to put his arms around me, he called me "my dear". help me please, i know this is long!
View related questions:
exchanged numbers, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2007): I think that he has feelings for you. You should be open about your feeling to him. Maybe he is waiting for you to say something.He has been hinting to you. Good luck
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone.i know he is not in a relationship with anyone. i dont know why i know this, he aint said this, but i just do.he aint going for 5 years. he only going 1/2years until he gets some experience then he going to move back home. you are right randb2, he does care about my career. he always asks me how my studies are coming along, about my job hunting, asks me whether i have any results.as for me moving with him, that is not possible. because of my family that would not be allowed. they dont mind me having a boyfriend, but cant live with a guy before marriage. he also believes in that. coz of our religion, that is completely out of the way.but he has asked me to come and visit him when he moves. he said he would like to show me around the city. as for his communication issues, its the way he is. he just doesnt do it to me. i know from when i was working with him, that he does it everyone, but its not intentional. nogolo, you are right we do have little experience. thats why, we probably aint in a proper relationship, if any relatioship. i have asked him out few times too, but again something always come up. maybe we are not meant to be together, and thats why are dates dont happen (im strong believer in fate). but coz of this belief, i think, why did we meet in the first place and become so close, and nothing happened.because of the communication issue, it is had to even tell him how i feel and talk to him about it. but then you could say that if he knows that an issue and why aint he contacted.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): I think you are in a relationship and don't know it. The guy is communicating to you, you may not be responding in a way that lets him know you want the same thing, him.
You have turned him down frequently for dates, albeit for an important reason, your exams....but it sounds like he is trying to fit into your life by helping you with reviews. It sounds like he is very concerned about his career which shows he has ambition, and he is willing to move away from you to pursue it...but he wants to know how you feel about it.....if you are sad, will miss him, then tell him so and see what he says back to you.
I think he has feelings, I don't think he is living a double life, but for this relationship to go further into romance he will need to start spending more time with you...if he is moving away for 5 years, then you will be best to just remain a long distance friend, as your relationship will fade from time apart, and it will be painful for you both....if you wnt to move with him then think about that, and see where he is on that idea....and it may be why he is holding back.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007): He sounds as though he is living a secret life or something. Are you sure he is not seeing someone else? I suspect that he is but he is not committed to that relationship fully and at times of weakness he texts/calls/sees you as a plan B. From what your have written I think he does have feelings for you but there is definately something else going on that you don't know about in his life for his communication to be so sporadic.
...............................
A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (14 April 2007):
 Key to understanding: "neither of us been in relationship before... im scared of losing him, im in love with him".
And one more: "he sends me kisses all the time, calls me hun and sweetie... he called me "my dear".
Both of you have very little experience, but still this situation means that you are in Relationship.
This story tells us how YOU feel; he doesn't show how HE feels, but his actions speak instead of him.
Congratulations: this guy really has feelings for you and you are very close friends - go on like this.
...............................
|
