A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'd like to be good friends with normal (!) guys like some of my girlfriends manage to do, but the guys always want more. How do I break off friendships with guys who want more or won't accept no for an answer? Almost every time I see my male friends, I have to keep telling them that we are only friends. I had a horrid experience where I kept telling this male friend of mine I didn't want a relationship and he wouldn't take no for an answer. I found it hugely disrespectful. In the end he said some things to a mutual friend of ours who had set us up and she got really agressive with me more or less accusing me of being a prick tease. I was furious. Apparently, I had been giving this guy signals like giving him the eye. I had to laugh. All I did was look him in the eye while I was talking to him like most normal people do. I have another couple of male friends: one has almost developed stalker like tendencies toward me, finding out my work number and tracking me down and turning up at places he knows I am going to be going to and the other one has invited himself out to places that I go to with other people. Again, I find that hugely disrespectful and I can't bear men who are that desperate. I have explained to another one that I just want to be friends but he phones up all the time and I say I'll get back to him but he won't give me a chance because he's back on the phone again. I am beginning to think it isn't worth having any male friends. Whilst I appreciate they like me, I feel like they always want more even though I have explained to them in no uncertain terms that I don't want that. To me they are not being friends if they are hounding me all the time. How do I break off these friendships? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, nologo  +, writes (5 April 2007):
 The situation you are in now is quite common, even typical.You deal with it depending on your definition of Friendship.In life there is a thing called in your definition "friendships with guys", but there is always an underlying reason why they cannot be more than friends.Here is also a word called acquaintance, maybe you should use it instead of "male friend".That was a piece of theoretical advice to you from me."I'd like to be...like some of my girlfriends manage to do"For practical advice go to your girl friends - you trust them.
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