A
female
age
30-35,
MissKin
writes:I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what we had. Now though, everything is wonderful(ish). As he is my first boyfriend (well, apart from the silly 'boyfriends' i had as a child) I have had almost every first with him and lots of new and exciting (and bloody scary) feelings. Recently we've both been feeling our relationship is moving TOO fast because we're becoming rather sexual and feel like we're moving towards sexual intercourse too fast. We both feel like we want to but we're both holding back. Up to this point we've had a lot of embarassing worries and concerns but we've both made it a point to discuss every little insecurity with one another.We're mostly worried about how sex is going to be now though. He's worried about his 'performance' and how it's going to measure up - but i'm a virgin and so is he, so i'm not sure why he's worried about me comparing him to something else, what else do i have to compare him to? And i'm worried about the pain! I'm such a baby when it comes to pain but I know it'll be alright - this, however, has worried him too. Let's not forget the long discussion we had about contraception. Many couples overlook the need to talk to your partner about contraception. Let each other know what's happening with it, or you could end up being unprotected, pregnant and having caught a nasty STI/STD.Besides from these, other embarassing things could happen but i'm a firm believer in laughing it off. I think the fact that i feel comfortable enough to laugh off embarassing moments with him shows how close we are. If worse comes to worst, i'm not going to run off crying, i'm going to clear my throat and laugh.Sex shouldn't feel daunting, like a test or a trial or the end of the world if it goes wrong. If you're a strong couple and a genuine lover, you'll take things as they come and like me, make no judgement calls. However, laughing it off when it's a serious matter is sometimes the wrong approach. Perhaps 'take things light-heartidly' would be a better piece of advice. Of course, this too is difficult, especially when it comes to virginity. Your first time is supposed to be special but it will most likely have a couple of hiccups when it comes around and that's fine, it shouldn't feel like the apocolypse has risen if something slightly embarassing happens. I think sex should be fun. You should enjoy yourself and laugh at the silly slip-ups everyone makes along the way. Sex in real life, is so not going to be like sex in the movies. I don't expect it to be. Neither should anybody else. If all hell breaks loose during my first time, I'll be glad i did it with someone I love enough for it to not matter that it wasn't like the movies. Reply to this Article
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male
reader, pure shade 5  +, writes (18 May 2009):
 i wish i was like yall when i did it with my wife we were still datting and she was a virgain (cant spell) and i wasnt and i was just worried that we were moving to fast we datted 2weeks then she lost hers 4 weeks latter we found out she was pregnent 1week latter we got married its not that i dont love her it is just at times i think what would have happend in i waited and told her no when she asked me to take it away for her but then again i look and see relity if i didnt date her then i wouldnt have had sex with her then she wouldnt be pregnent then i wouldnt be married to a person i love and i would not have 2 butiful babies to take care of in a few mounts things cant go how we always plan it to go imagain and dream while u can but when u open your eyes it is the real world
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