A
female
age
30-35,
*sh your
writes:when I first met my bf he had this girl that was his friend but they also hooked up a lot. And she wanted to have a relationship with him. But he didn't want to be in a relationship. She found a bf. And after a few months me and my bf started dating. She would only come over when I wasn't there. There was a time we were both going to his house at the same time and she chose not to go over to his house cuz I was going to be there. She even told my bf that he should be dating her cuz her ass was bigger. I didn't let there friendship bother me because I didn't want to be that girlfriend that tell my bf what to do. One night I went to spend the night with a friend of mine. And this girl went over to my bf house. They drank. And watch some tv. And she tried to get with him. He said that he he told her no that he had a gf and she continued to try. She fell asleep but it was in his bed. He he decided to sleep next to her. Saying that he had no where else to sleep. Even tho he had another mattress with clothes on them. When he was telling me about this. He told me that he didnt want to tell her that he was dating me because it would hurt her feelings. I believe something happened cuz we had talked about her talking about me before any of this happened. I don't know if I should believe him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (25 August 2017):
 I don't know what is more offensive. That he's kept a bed buddy around while dating you, might have cheated or that he just cannot be bothered to even TRY to come up with a more plausible story.
There is nothing to work on here. Please, just ghost him. He doesn't deserve the courtesy of an official break up. Let him figure out he's been dumped.
And in future, there is a big difference between not being a psycho and being a mug. If something doesn't seem right, it probably isn't. You're not sending someone to jail or
Walk away at the first red flag.
A
male
reader, judgedick  +, writes (24 August 2017):
 first of all the night, you went over to your friend's house to stay with her, your BF gave this girl the cost is clear call, she knows about you and she knows what he thinks about you better than you do.
In my experience, you just cannot win in this situation.
It is the reason why sex friends do not work,
as I think sex friends are just fooling themselves thinking that there is no feeling and it messes up the relationships that come after.
In twenty years after people still have at least a connections with the people they had casual sex with, I would have to be very gullible to buy the one "we are just friends "if I came home one morning after being away and found that my wife had an old friend over they bought used the same bed even though there had been another bed made up in the place.
I think part of you is trying to protect yourself from seeing what you know is going on.
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A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (23 August 2017):
 Wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him.
Who in their right mind would think it's acceptable to hang out at home with someone they used to casually sleep with whilst they're in a relationship.
I'd break up and never look back.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 August 2017):
 No, you shouldn't believe him. He's a liar, a cheat, and he thinks you are a stupid, gullible, useless woman who deserves no respect beyond the effort he needed to concoct a sad, pathetic lie. He thought so little of you that he figures you're stupid enough to believe something any smart person would see right through.
They got drunk and had sex while you were gone. Lots of it, fueled by lots of alcohol. He said "no"??? NO starts with her not setting foot inside the house while you're gone! NO means the moment she made a pass at him, he would have thrown her out.
They screwed like rabbits, and he's laughing at your gullibility.
Show him you're not buying it, and toss him out. Every second you DON'T break up with him, you look weak.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 August 2017): Time to step up to the plate and dump his cheating ass.
Don't for a single second believe his shitload of lies. Not even one word. The nerve of this asshole to even think you are THAT stupid!!
He wants to be able to fuck you AND anyone else he chooses.
This girl, who is STILL his FWB, and any other girl who comes along. PLUS you!
They have a history of being fuck buddies. She will never be able to be JUST his friend and vice versa without having the urge to fuck each other. It's what they do best. Fucking each other is exactly what they did the night she went over there. Your "boyfriend" has proven he cannot resist her sexually. And she is having sex with your boyfriend in order to win him from you. What would you have won? A cheating slimeball?? Wow, that's some prize!
Your "relationship" is so over.
He ended it.
Best to let him go. He will never stop seeing her. Obviously the sex is good enough for him to risk your relationship over.
Do you want a pig like this? Do you not think you deserve better?
He won't change.
And you won't care because you're moving on.
Let her keep him. She is the one who is going to have to pick her heart off the floor after he tears it out cheating on her.
He is lying.
He had sex with her.
Don't let him sweet talk you into believing his pathetic lies!
Whose the loser?
Him. And her.
You win by walking away.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 August 2017):
 I would just end it. Your BF can't set boundaries with this woman and he knows that it's not a "real" friendship they have it's a mutual ego-rub thing.
The fact that he didn't want to tell her about you because her feelings might get hurt shows that HE knows she wants more from him. HE gets off on that.
It sounds like he really wants to be single.
Now I'm not saying people can't have friends staying over, but sharing a bed?
I'd wish him well, end it, block him and move on.
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A
female
reader, MissKin +, writes (23 August 2017):
 Ditch him. I've been there and done that and "Oh we're just friends who hooked up once and share a bed every now and then. It's just a friend thing. Don't be jealous." you will never come first and you will never be able to get them apart without being the bad guy.
The lines between their relationship have become blurred and they no longer know the difference between friends and friends with benefits.
In my experience, you just cannot win in this situation. I put up with it for almost a year. When we broke up they got together straight away.
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