A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I've recently started experiencing terrible anxiety and it's really effecting the way I am in work. I was wondering if anybody had any tips to help deal with day to day life.I have an issue with looking clean and tidy. I have a bath before work and then one when I get home. I brush my teeth 3 times a day, I straighten my hair and wear quite smart clothes to work. But I just don't like my teeth, my hair doesn't stay the way it should, I look tired.This is starting to effect interactions with other people, I don't want to look them in the eye when I talk, I don't smile because of my teeth,I just don't make an effort.I take antidepressants which have helped a bit but I've now gotten in to a rut with people at work I don't know how to get out of it.I used to be quite chatty and happy but a few years ago something bad happened to me and it's taken a toll on my appearance and confidence.I feel a bit vain because everyday I just focus on my appearance when thats not the most important thing to concentrate on. I work at a desk and when I'm sat down I can just see the tops of people's heads. I even felt down thinking everybody had a nicer forehead than me which frankly is the most ridiculous thing I've ever thought of! Lol.How do I stop being so socially awkward and silly?
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female
reader, MissKin +, writes (22 October 2018):
I think you're focusing on your hair and hygiene because it's something you can control more easily than the way you feel.
I disagree with the anonymous responder who says to stop taking anti depressants. ALWAYS consult your prescribing physician before stopping or starting any medication as withdrawal can have terrible side effects too.
You sound like you need some therapy :) talk about the bad thing that happened to you and try to work through it rather than taking it out on yourself with negative thoughts.
Your awkwardness can be won over with time and effort but it isn't easy when you have lost your confidence. A therapist might be able to suggest ways of building this back up through engaging in different group activities where you can meet new people who don't know the current awkward you. it gives you the chance to be different and to experience new and different things.
I hope you reach out and get some professional support for your issues and start to heal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2018): Speak to your doctor and try and arrange CBT counselling to help with your anxiety and the OCD behaviours you are displaying, or a counsellor may suggest you need a different type of therapy, but go to your doctor!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2018): Looking clean and smart isn't a bad thing. You are doing the right thing by taking good care of your hygienes.I would say I think you are stressed at work. Are you? Also this feeling of awkwardness I would say is the side effect of taking antidepressants. Pls stop taking them, they never do any good. What you should do is socialise more and have a best friend in whom you can confide. Join real interest groups in your area. Not social media groups on the internet. Have a hobby in which you can really immerse yourself to relieve stress. My passion since childhood is music and I find playing the piano really help me overcome stress. Knowing and identifying you shortcomings is half the way to beating them and you have already done that otherwise you wouldn't have written this post. Good luck.
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