| A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes: I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the first time and he wasn’t able to get hard. It stayed limp no matter what I tried to do I finally just gave up and turned over and when I did he started to cuddle me and say that it felt good and he enjoyed having a beautiful woman in his bed. After that we fell asleep and in the morning he woke up hard so we tried again but after about 2 min he went limp again. He tried to get back hard and force it back in but after 5 min he gave up. He went into the bathroom and I was so embarrassed I started putting on my clothes and getting ready to leave. When he got out of the bathroom he asked me where I was going and told me to stay and come back in the bed with him. So I did and we cuddle some more then he cooked breakfast. He has stilll texted me throughout the day and asks me when we can hang out again. The problem is I don’t think he is sexual attracted to me. He told me before that he has only dated short white girls and I’m the complete opposite. I’m taller than him and I’m black. Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?
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female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (22 September 2018):
 I find his reaction to not being able to 'perform' interesting. Maybe you haven't gone into detail but I feel like his seemingly relaxed reaction means he knows this is a problem and/or wasn't surprised by his inability to remain erect.
I agree it definitely does not sound like he isn't attracted to you, he would not be bothering if this was the case.
I would wait and try again and if it happens once more ask him if he does have an issue in this area. Might be embarrassing for him to be asked this but you need to know.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2018): There are many possibilities. The most probable is that he has some level of E.D. worsened by nerves. Another possibility is that he is not really attracted to women, but hasn't figured that out that. There, I said it. He may be in denial over his sexuality. It happens...it happens more times than you would think.
From the sounds of it he loves spending time with you. I think you need to wait and see if it happens repeatedly.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2018): Porn !
How much does he use ?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 September 2018): He sounds like a nice guy, and from the sounds of it he is definitely attracted to you! I highly doubt he would make such an effort if he wasn't into you. I think more likely, he was a little nervous or might have erectile dysfunction.. this can also be really embarrassing for guys and might have made it even worse. It can happen to guys for all sorts of reasons, don't worry yourself. Also I wouldn't mention it to him as it might embarrass him further, just be cool with him and be yourself
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (21 September 2018):
 I agree. If he wasn't into you he would make such and effort to spend time with you.
I'd hold of on the sex for a while longer. It might be that he is too nervous.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (21 September 2018):
It could have been plenty of other reasons, but not being attracted to you is almost certainly not one of them.
It was probably more embarrassing for him.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (21 September 2018):
 I very much doubt that lack of physical attraction is the cause of his issue.
As he is capable of having erections, it is far more likely to be nerves at being with someone new that are causing the problem.
If you like this guy (and I assume you do, otherwise why would you be sharing his bed?), take things slower. Explore each other's bodies without having intercourse. You can do loads of other things to make you both happy. Then, when he is relaxed with you, you may find this problem resolves itself.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (21 September 2018):
 If he didn’t find you attractive I don’t think he would be entertaining you.
He could suffer from erectile dysfunction. It’s very possible for younger people to have it also. He could of been nervous to be with a new partner, stressed with Work. The possibilities are endless, but I don’t think you’d be in his bed if he didn’t find you attractive.
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