Why are dumpers allowed to gloat and be vindictive?
Q. I got dumped by a complete jerk over a year ago. He dumped me by text because he "wanted to be single". I never cheated or anything. He treated me bad so I was glad. I never contacted him ever again and deleted his number. Months and months later he...
A. 1 October 2013: It is you giving him the power to gloat and be vindictive. Don't contact him, don't respond if he contacts you... and don't try to punish him! Its over... he is a jerk... you already know this... so... my advice is move on! Only then can he not have ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend believes I don't know how to act in social situations.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 5 years now, and in the last few months he's been making comments that have made me think he is getting annoyed at the fact I am quite shy. I've always been that way - I was seriously shy as...
A. 23 September 2013: Quiet people are not weird!! I don't know where people get this stupid notion from! There is too much emphasis on blowing hot air and I don't understand why people have to harp on all the time to be considered cool and normal! If you do not feel ... (read in full...)
How do I get my ex back? Or how do I move on? It's 70 days since our break-up
Q. Two months ago, The love of my life walked away because of my bad attitude. It's been about 70 days since I've seen or talked to him. How do I get him back? or How do I accept what has happened and move on? Its been a hard journey. All I d...
A. 19 September 2013: Maybe its better that its over because you seem to have problems dealing with your role in the joining of the 2 families. Its great that you helped him but it seems you did this resentfully! You're talking about wearing the skirt and the pants and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends mother won't let her son live. Isn't there a point when a parent has to let go?
Q. My boyfriends mother won't let her son live. She calls us when she's out of town (which is on the weekends)about every hour (up until 4 am!) asking if we are partying, or out drinking. We're both of age, so it shouldn't matter. We don't drink and ...
A. 6 September 2013: This is really not your problem to fix. Your boyfriend should deal with this with his mother. If he cannot communicate with her to make her understand her problem.... then unfortunately you need to let him go. Because this will be a problem for you ... (read in full...)
I'm confused as to where my loyalties lie regarding friends!
Q. hi guys, just needing some advice regarding my best friend and an ex 'friend' of mine. Firstly i'm not a person that would ever expect my friends to choose between friends, but i'm confused as to where my best friends loyalty lies, loyalty is a big ...
A. 4 September 2013: I think that you should not involve yourself in your bf and 'ex-friend's' relationship and should not consider them meeting or talking as a disloyalty to you! They are adults who can make decisions for themselves and its not your problem to deal ... (read in full...)
How much abuse is too much? ( physical and emotional) How to move on after abusive relationships?
Q. I was with this man for two years. He was perfect the first eight months of us dating, I realized he started becoming mean. He would tell me awful things like I was stupid, bad at sex, or had an ugly vagina. He would break up with me, block me off ...
A. 3 September 2013: You need to learn to love yourself first BEFORE you are ready to have a relationship with someone (and not this twat!).... As long as you continue to take him back... you have given him a license to do what he wants. And hunny... he will continue to ... (read in full...)
My g/f makes me wait hours between texts. I don't like her behavior!
Q. hi guys. a few nights ago, my girlfriend came home after spending the night with one of her friends. she texted me "heeey" with a smiley face to let me know she was back. and i replied in about 10 seconds or so. then she disappeared for ...
A. 27 August 2013: I think she is trying to control the situation with her little games. If she takes long to reply to your msgs... try making her wait a day before you respond! And I mean a day! If she wants to go down the route of being too busy to respond then play ... (read in full...)
I don't want to use my mom just to babysit while I have a baby!
Q. Question for mothers and Fathers. I'm 22 weeks pregnant with my second child who I have been with for 4 years. Me and my partner 'Jay' got into a huge argument last night about the when the time comes for me to have this baby. He obviously wan...
A. 27 August 2013: I think that Jay is being really selfish! And you don't have to say YES to everything Jay says! How would it hurt him to have your mom stay over a night or even a few nights? Jay can have his own little family around him for ever so what's it to him ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex send me a photo of him and his new girl?
Q. So my ex boyfriend and I haven't talked since we broke up. He has nerve to send me a picture of him and his new girl. I'm not going to lie, it did break me. I was getting over him and I'm happy for him but why would he do that? ... I need help:-(...
A. 27 June 2013: You should feel flattered that you are so important to him that he wants you to know what he is doing! He is basically reporting to you.
I would reply as the other aunts say... Wow you 2 look great together. Congratulations and take care. xx ... (read in full...)
This feels like a part-time relationship, help!
Q. Okay, haven't been on here in a while, but I need help. It's the same guy- he has a drinking problem and in the past had a drug issue that we've finally hurdled over two years ago (been together going on four). Basically, we break up ALL THE TIME. ...
A. 27 June 2013: Hunny the issues you need to deal with have NOTHING to do with this guy! How you are behaving is a reflection of how you feel about yourself and no one can fix this for you...BUT YOU! You are the one making the decision to leave and then to go back ... (read in full...)
Help!! Who do I choose? The one who makes me his world or the one who gives me goosebumps?
Q. I have to choose between two men. #1 is kind, loving, considerate, caring, sweet, faithful, would do anything for me and makes me the centre of his universe. BUT he is boring, predictable there is no chemistry or spark between us and the sex is d...
A. 20 June 2013: I take it you are already with No. 1? And maybe time with him has turned him into a comfortable shoe... Maybe No.2 will also become a No.1 with time? New things are always exciting!
Since you asked... and I'm volunteering my advice... I would st... (read in full...)
Should I give my bf time to get over his ex so that he can be happy with me again?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for nearly a year and living together a few months now. Start of our relationship was great however I asked too many qn's about his past and ex girlfriends and I found out that there was one girl In particular that hurt ...
A. 20 June 2013: You are both in love and together... and if you want to keep it that way...take all the energy you're putting into snooping and being jealous and pump that into loving and caring for your man! The past is the past and it belongs there... You can't ... (read in full...)
Do you need to be attractive in order for people to talk to you. Please help me I feel invisible!
Q. hi this is not a relationship advice question however i need some help. Im currently studying in uni, iwould consider myself a less attractive plus size gal. I have always had issues with weight and have very bad hyperpigmentation on my face. Im not ...
A. 20 June 2013: The way you feel about yourself can project outwards and people will pick up on this. You must work on yourself in order to feel better about you...ever heard the saying.. you smile and the world smiles with you?
My suggestion? Work on the thin... (read in full...)
I don't like feeling like a maid, or taken for granted. Am I being unreasonable?
Q. Just a question about cohabitation: My boyfriend works 50 hours a week, and I am currently unemployed (but looking) I contribute economically, and do all the cooking and cleaning except for one night where he makes dinner. Usually he does his ...
A. 20 June 2013: His comment could really just be coming from an innocent place. He knows that you are currently unemployed and that you have been doing the laundry... so naturally if you had bn doing the laundry... you would see there are clothes in the dryer and ... (read in full...)
Return a gift after breakup?
Q. Hello Everyone, I have been seeing this guy for over about two months now. He was away for a while so I couldn't see him but he brought me something which I thought was really sweet. After he came back, we went on dates. On our first date I pai...
A. 20 June 2013: Are you seriously worried about this guy? He was not considering your feelings when you were driving him places and paying his bills! Keep the gift... He needs to not be so cheap! xx... (read in full...)
My Boyfriend Won't Stop Confiding in His Ex...Who Is Still Interested!
Q. Hi, I'm a college student in a 2 year relationship with my current boyfriend. Before me, he was dating this girl for 4 years. They remained distant friends after things didn't work out and would occasionally text/call to just update each other about ...
A. 20 June 2013: You need to give him an ultimatum...her or you! PERIOD! He cannot be talking about your business with a woman that wants to see you NOT together. What kind of advice will she be giving him about how to deal with you!!!
You don't want to be in th... (read in full...)
Is marriage the right thing for me to do?
Q. I just want to share my story and I would Love your opinions. it was about 8 or 9 months ago I was walking into church for a revival when I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He was well dressed, the cutest smile with pe...
A. 19 June 2013: If its meant to be... then its for the long run! So why rush? No need to go flying into fairytales in order to save feelings. Its just not realistic AT ALL!
If you marry in this moment...does this mean that this feeling you are trying to hold ont... (read in full...)
He keeps breaking up my relationships, I'm in love. I need to stop him!
Q. There is this guy who I am completely inlove with but everytime we start dating he just stops talking to me and then months pass and he comes back and then he leaves again and that just keeps happening. I told him im tired of him doing that and that ...
A. 19 June 2013: How many times are you prepared to fall for the same trick? This is a game... For him its to see that he can get you to do what he wants... And maybe you fall for it because you believe that you can make him stay! Get out of the game with him! If ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to love someone without trusting them?
Q. Hi guys ! Me and my boyfriend had been in a on and off relationship for almost 3years , on top off that he was my first love.... During those 3years Ive been good girl that always get hurt ! I was faithful to him never derespected him ! But hi...
A. 19 June 2013: If you accept his behavior and he knows that you will never leave him ...then what's stopping him from continuing his behavior?
I think that you should leave... but if you "cannot live without him" .. then stay... but don't expect things to be an... (read in full...)
How can I stop my clingyness to a guy that is already involved? I am in love with him!
Q. I'm hoping someone will help me I love this guy so much but unfortunately I've made the usual mistakes clingy too emotional etc Ok he's with a girl he's been with her 5 years We got close and kissed twice last year please don't judge he said afte...
A. 18 June 2013: You're digging for water in a dry well and have set yourself up for failure!
He has been with this woman for 5 years! How bad can things be? Also he hooked up with you when "they were going through some issues"... that should tell you what he ... (read in full...)
Should I dye my hair blonde because b/f likes blondes? I am worried he might go for a blonde if I'm not one too!
Q. hey, i have been in a relationship with my boyfriend now for a little over a year (let call him r), we have fun and love each other so much, but one thing he does hurts me. basically we went out for a bit before and then we broke up because we we...
A. 18 June 2013: I love the answer from So_very_Confused! Agree 100%... don't make changes to make someone else happy...make them for you...
If he is with you for the sole reason that you are blonde then he is not worth having around! ... (read in full...)
Wondering if I should leave my wife?
Q. My wife of 5 years is emotionally abusive and unstable. I don't love her anymore and my heart has become totally closed off to her. Should I stay, though, for our daugher? It's not horrible, but I'm unhappy and counseling hasn't worked. Thank ...
A. 18 June 2013: If you think that divorce will affect your daughter less than the present situation then I'd say do it. But really look at the long-term effects of your decision to leave your wife and child.
Have you looked at why she has become manipula... (read in full...)
Husband gets frustrated when I cry about his work hours but I'm pregnant and lonely!
Q. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and feeling very hormonal and emotional all the time. My husband works 12 hours most days and leaves at 11 and comes back at 11. It breaks my heart so much because I never get to see him and I feel so alone. He has two days off ...
A. 18 June 2013: Everyone knows that pregnancy and hormones is just a roller coaster ride. Up to this point we are all in agreement and.. We also all agree that in order to survive, one needs to work... so...
I think that you need to really make an effort to take ... (read in full...)
Ghost of relationship past
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year now and he's been struggling with how many past partners I have. I was date raped in my bed and have obviously had other sexual encounters in it. One day at random my boyfriend told me he doesn't want ...
A. 18 June 2013: I really don't believe that changing the mattress will change how he feels about your past ... maybe he thinks it will ...but I doubt that! If you can afford to change it then do but I would be surprised if this will miraculously change his ... (read in full...)
Why did my husband leave me after 6 years of marriage?
Q. Why did he leave me? My husband left my son and I after 6 years of marriage. He wanted his freedom and to be able to do as he pleased. He was having "the grass is greener" issues. He was verbally and emotionally abusive and generally not a good...
A. 18 June 2013: Its not easy to be the one "left" by another. The blow to self-esteem is quite a hard one. BUT you should be looking at the positives right now. This is a time to be strong for you and for your son.
Keep busy, get to working out... run, yoga, gy... (read in full...)
To move or not to move?
Q. I yet again turn to you dear agony aunties and uncles. I am a 33 year old women who lives at home with her parents. My family has certain rules that I have to follow, they are not comfortable with me coming home late (my mother basically stays ...
A. 18 June 2013: In my opinion, we all have to leave the nest at some point. Part of being grown up is fending for yourself and that will include debt I'm afraid. You could work evening jobs whilst you are studying to help balance yourself.
At the end of the day.... (read in full...)
HELP! How do I tell my flatmate she rude, without being rude myself???
Q. Moved into a great new place 3 weeks ago. My new flatmate is a 45yr old Russian and I am 25yr old British, so I appreciate that perhaps there could be a cultural thing with the difference of how things are said/done in our different countries. ...
A. 17 June 2013: This woman is the "Alpha" of the flat! And she is getting very used to her new position! You need to curb this before it becomes too much of a habit. How can she leave rubbish out for you to clear? Use your things and let you wait for them? Tell you ... (read in full...)
My ex has cancer. Do I help him secretly or tell my new boyfriend about him?
Q. My ex and me have been broken up for a while now but we still talked every so often. He recently got diagnosis with cancer. He lives a few hours away. I've tried to help him as much as possible because his family lives in a different state. here is ...
A. 14 June 2013: If you want to have a happy and positive relationship with your current boyfriend then I seriously recommend that you be honest with him! Because if he ever found out that you were helping your ex behind his back ...trust will be out the window and ... (read in full...)
Do I keep fighting for love or pull back?
Q. My 9 year relationship with my boyfriend just ended 6 weeks ago. The first 5 years were great. The last 4, not so great. I gained a lot of weight and pushed him away. Wouldn't have sex with him. Wouldn't even let him touch me. I was mean to him. I ...
A. 14 June 2013: I feel like you just trying to hold on to him even though deep down you don't really want to be with him - and maybe he knows this! When he was with you , you would push him away and only change your behavior when he decided to leave you.
Perha... (read in full...)
BF says I drag him down when I try to open up to him. Help!
Q. Hi everyone. I am in a long term relationship with a guy and we currently live together. I've been having some personal issues that have made me sad, but I try to keep it to myself and don't bother him with my issues. He wants me to be more...
A. 14 June 2013: How your bf responded was harsh and out of line. Part of being in a relationship is sharing the good times and the bad.
I would be happy to chat to you privately if you need some advice on what it is that you are going through at the moment. ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is hanging by a thread. My husband changed his facebook password and won't give it to me!
Q. I need help trying to not let it bother me that my husband changed his fb pass on me and wont give it to me cause i cant trust him. Our marriage is hanging by a thread and im trying really hard to fix this prob. It doesnt help that most people I ...
A. 12 June 2013: If getting a password to your husbands account is the solution to saving this marriage... then hunny... you don't really have a marriage!!!
You have to focus on the cores of a relationship... trust, love, respect etc... and not on getting into eac... (read in full...)
He keeps saying we should meet but never follows through with it
Q. i,ve been talking to a guy on a dating web site for 8 weeks he seems really nice but he keeps saying we should meet but every time i suggest a day or time he can never make it i sent him my mobile but hes never used it what should i do?...
A. 6 June 2013: I would just tell it like it is.... Commit to a date and show me that you are serious or there's no point in continuing to spend time. 8 weeks is long enough! Put the ball in his court and see how he responds...xx... (read in full...)
My former teacher always knew how I felt about him. He knew I always loved him, so why he reacted like this when I admitted it?
Q. Dear readers, I simply need help and advice. I have been some stupid school girl and fell for a married teacher. I don't even know how to put into words and I don't know whose fault. But what happened has happened. This teacher didn'...
A. 29 May 2013: Maybe he enjoyed the flirting and the attention he was receiving from a beautiful younger woman...but when you faced him with something solid like feelings ... he got scared and realized that he had taken things too far...
Either way...he is older... (read in full...)
I see my marriage as an obligation, not something that I can enjoy and have fun being in
Q. Hello! After a lot of time that i haven't seen my ex-boyfriend, i think that i don't really feel the need to be with him anymore. We only talk some times in the phone in a friendly way. We remain friends after all, but i don't like a more intimate ...
A. 29 May 2013: Through thick and thin remember? Marriage is an obligation BUT... it does not have to be not fun! You need to try to resolve arguments and not hold onto anger and bitterness over time. Go on holiday - try to remember the reason you both fell in love ... (read in full...)
I see my marriage as an obligation, not something that I can enjoy and have fun being in
Q. Hello! After a lot of time that i haven't seen my ex-boyfriend, i think that i don't really feel the need to be with him anymore. We only talk some times in the phone in a friendly way. We remain friends after all, but i don't like a more intimate ...
A. 29 May 2013: Through thick and thin remember? Marriage is an obligation BUT... it does not have to be not fun! You need to try to resolve arguments and not hold onto anger and bitterness over time. Go on holiday - try to remember the reason you both fell in love ... (read in full...)
Fiance had feelings for old school friend, how should I have handled this
Q. I am a 23 year old woman, and am about to get married to my fiance, but I have an issue. He has some feelings for a girl he used to go to school with, and I let my insecurity get the better of me and caused this girl a situation where I humiliated ...
A. 29 May 2013: You made a mistake. As you say you let your insecurities get the better of you and you overreacted. Fair enough.. BUT you have to make it right. Talk to your bf about this. Tell him that you are sorry and that you really were feeling insecure and ... (read in full...)
I want to hurt my husband with words the way that he hurts me!
Q. My husband always says harsh words to me which make me feel worthless and they stay in my mind for a long time. He says words which belittle me and make me feel worthless. Anytime I give an opinion or request he jus turns it down so harshly. When he ...
A. 29 May 2013: You should not stoop to his level and commence belittling people and saying mean and hurtful things. This way he has won by turning you into him! You should try counseling and if that fails then maybe you need to draw a line and just tell him ... (read in full...)
If you attended a rather large school and some person identified you and complimented you. Would you reply back? Would you feel creeped out?
Q. Hello agony aunts and uncles! All advice is welcome. The sooner the better, as the problem is quite simple. I am on a dating site, and this guy from the university happens to be on there as well. Once I found this out, I went through stages ...
A. 29 May 2013: I don't see anything wrong with that! You go to the same school, you happened to notice him and you liked him...so no big deal! I think you are just tense coz maybe you are afraid of rejection but relax... there's a saying that you always hold NO in ... (read in full...)
The men I date always talk about their ex's is this normal?
Q. Hello, I just want an honest opinion on this one. Im an attractive, pretty cool young woman who is independent. I wonder why men that I date always tell me or talk about other women? When I say other women I mean ex girlfriends or some women in ...
A. 27 May 2013: I would just say, "That's fab but can we talk about you or me or something else please?" You don't have to make the effort to go on a date and then sit there listening to ex stories! Take control of the situation and let them know if they want to ... (read in full...)
My ex's gf is driving a wedge between my kids and their dad. How should I deal with this?
Q. Hi Dear Cupid Im writing this through rage and tears... Me and my ex broke up 3 years ago, we have two amazing children together, He has moved on and has a child with another girl, their relationship is rocky most of the time, My ex has a bad Alc...
A. 27 May 2013: Your fight should not be with your ex's new partner... Your fight is with HIM. He is the father of your children and he needs to put on some pants and stand up for his right to visit his children and to attend important functions. Your anger is ... (read in full...)
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