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age
30-35,
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writes: Okay, haven't been on here in a while, but I need help. It's the same guy- he has a drinking problem and in the past had a drug issue that we've finally hurdled over two years ago (been together going on four). Basically, we break up ALL THE TIME. He's been good to me most of the time and then horrible at others- I honestly don't know why I stay at some times. Then, on top of it, I ALWAYS end up going to my mom's for a week or two and then coming back home to him. I don't know if he knows he has me in a crappy situation and that I have to come back, but it's almost, at times, like he doesn't really care regardless. And he NEVER comes back to me. Not even a darn phone call. Basically, why does he keep doing this? How do I stop it. I know the answer- move on and don't contact him. I'm seriously SICK AND TIRED of constantly moving my things only to move them back in! How do I cut this off for good or make it work? How do I know if he's serious about this or is just using me to be there when HE wants? Thank you in advance!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2013): Stop going back!
1. You got to stop putting up with bad behaviour.
2. When you break up, return he knows you make empty threats, so therefore if you put up with his crap, then in his mind he can do as he pleases cos you accept it.
3. He does not respect you and treats you bad because you dont care enough for yourself BECAUSE you stay no matter what. He is thinking you have only your self to blame. Dont try and change him because he wont. He and only he can do it and only if he is willing to give up his addictions. An addict has to have the will power to give up, if not then it wont be done just because someone tells them they should.
Move on and find someone who is worthy of your love. He doesnt love you. Love does not involve constant fights and breakups.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 why do you have to go back?
he has a problem with alcohol.
move out and do not go back
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (27 June 2013):
if u break up all the time, and end up going to going to ur moms house then it is a chaotic way to live for all of you. I would say dump him, move on and be happy with someone else or alone.... either way u need to get out of this soul destroying situation as u are wasting the best years of ur life on a loser who doesnt deserve u
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 Hunny the issues you need to deal with have NOTHING to do with this guy! How you are behaving is a reflection of how you feel about yourself and no one can fix this for you...BUT YOU! You are the one making the decision to leave and then to go back and you are accepting to live in this cycle of unhappiness! Why? Why do you feel that you do not deserve to be happy and be with someone that is positive for you? You need to work on yourself and really think about the decisions you are making for you and how sustainable they are.
On the other hand... this guy doesn't run after you... he KNOWS you will come back whenever you leave him... so really he has no reason to change at all! If you ask me...the poison's in the apple already and if you can't love yourself more than you love him.. you both will continue on this path of on/off and misery! Find the strength in yourself to do the right thing by you! xx
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 June 2013):
 HI
The simple truth is he don't care one way or another what you do......Harsh but true. Your showing him your weak and NEED him. It's time to stand on your own two feet , walk away for good , and do something with your life. You relationship is not a healthy one and the fact YOU do all the running just makes him less attracted to you. Don't waste any more years of your life chasing a lost cause. It will feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off your shoulders when you get that courage to move on and be with someone who will appreciate you.
Mandy x
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