A
female
age
30-35,
*heLady
writes:Hi guys ! Me and my boyfriend had been in a on and off relationship for almost 3years , on top off that he was my first love....During those 3years Ive been good girl that always get hurt ! I was faithful to him never derespected him ! But him on the other hand had a child with his ex , cheated on me soo many time . Since I love him so much I forgived him ... but I stoped trusting him! Because I stoped trusting him I had this bad habit to bring up all those story when a new problem comes up.Yesterday we decided to break up and I honestly think that I cant leave without him nomore ... he becomed a part of me..I dont know what to do .... is it possible to love somebody without trusting him? Somebodyy help me thank you
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female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (19 June 2013):
 If you accept his behavior and he knows that you will never leave him ...then what's stopping him from continuing his behavior?
I think that you should leave... but if you "cannot live without him" .. then stay... but don't expect things to be any different because you are settling and he knows you are not going anywhere! So best get settled in for the long ride. Good luck xx
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (19 June 2013):
Dear OP,
I guess it's possible to feel love for someone without trusting them. Because love is irrational.
However, it's very stupid to stay with someone you don't trust.
As a grown up woman, you need to listen to your brain as well when it comes to relationships. Stop the romantic crap about staying together against the odds, just because of some feelings.
Stop overrating your emotions and the fact that you miss him. We're not living in a hollywood movie, this is not a sign for anything, it's just you being confused about how to deal with the new situation.
Yes it takes time to get over a relationship and a break up will hurt. Sometimes you feel like you can't live without the other one. But that's just not true.
Show some love and respect for yourself, keep some dignity and end it for real this time. YOU are the most important person in your life and you need to look after yourself, not sacrifice your mental health and all your plans for such a crappy relationship. What do you even get out of this - besides of constant drama?
This relationship won't change for the better, you tried for three years, it's enough now.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2013): ".... is it possible to love somebody without trusting him?"
No.
What you have isn't love, it's a sick, twisted co-dependency. He tells you what you want to hear and then treats you like a dirt. Don't believe what he SAYS, believe what he DOES (cheats on you, knocks up another chick).
Until you stand up for yourself scumbag will continue to walk all over you because you let him. Men can't disrespect women who respect themselves.
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