A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm a college student in a 2 year relationship with my current boyfriend. Before me, he was dating this girl for 4 years. They remained distant friends after things didn't work out and would occasionally text/call to just update each other about their lives, but live far away from one another.Recently, he told me about phone conversations they were having and I told him it made me feel uncomfortable. She is still interested in him after all this time and has often tried to get him to kiss her, cuddle with her, etc when they have tried to hang out as friends in the past. He justified it as they were just friends and he refuses her advances. He says he has no feelings for her as a romantic interest and reassures me he loves me.After he had a bad day at work one night, he came home in a bad mood and we had an argument. I left to cool down, and when I came back he was talking to his ex on the phone about his bad day and his argument with me. I became even more upset that he is now going to confide in his ex about our relationship, especially since she is not over him.I told my boyfriend that this is unacceptable and he replied that he sees this as me not allowing him to be friends with his ex. He also said "people always confide in their friends".I told him I would feel better if he confided to his other female friends or even close guy friends.Do you think he still has feelings for his ex? How can I "nip this in the bud"? Am I being unreasonable?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): Are ya being serious? This is NOT acceptable; he should cut her loose not only because you tell him it troubles you (rightly so) - but also because confiding in her about deep stuff forms EMOTIONAL closeness between them- Good grief (lol) he's shutting you out of your own relationship?? He'd be tied up if it was me! ( joke lol) So she's. made moves on him when she knows he's with you? What a snake! She's probably slandering you/ or subtlety trying to turn you against him every chance she gets. And even if she isn't( as if) how can he expect you to believe that? Why should his contentment take precedence over yours? It's NOT On and don't let him tell you any different. It would be a strain possibly even if she didnt have feelings for him- let alone shutting you out of your own relationship! like the last poster said, you need to find out if you Wan2 be with this guy- it's her or you.I'm incensed! Lol! Good luck! X
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (20 June 2013):
 You need to give him an ultimatum...her or you! PERIOD! He cannot be talking about your business with a woman that wants to see you NOT together. What kind of advice will she be giving him about how to deal with you!!!
You don't want to be in the shadow of this other girl. If he cannot let her go .... then send him to her... Don't compromise on this one...Good luck xx
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