A
female
age
30-35,
*he hopeless girl
writes:So my ex boyfriend and I haven't talked since we broke up. He has nerve to send me a picture of him and his new girl. I'm not going to lie, it did break me. I was getting over him and I'm happy for him but why would he do that? ... I need help:-(
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broke up, my ex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dear Mandy  +, writes (1 November 2021):
 Hi
Sorry you had to see that , how childish and cruel. But are you positive he sent it ? Is it possible his new girlfriend sent it from his phone ? . Could it be his not entirely over you and she feels threatened?
I would reply with a simple message saying “ I’m very happy for you, I’m so glad you’ve moved on. “ then delete and block him. Some people you just can’t remain friends with. If it was him that sent it , I would feel quite victorious!! I’d feel empowered, it would actually help me move on. Knowing that he clearly regrets leaving you , AND you see him for his true colours! Which is spiteful. People like this are attention seeking , and seldom have respect for anyone. Time for YOU to move on and find your happy!
A
female
reader, Dyanarus +, writes (6 October 2016):
Dear Friends in WomanHood:
My exfiance did this to me, too. Sent a photo of him and this girl looking 20 years younger than him, and a video of them boating together. I'll bet your ex deep down is as sad and broken as my ex was, and is trying so hard to get over you that he's pulling out all the stops. Meanwhile the new girl is being used to make you jealous and to get him over you. And if she's a gold digger, she's willing to go along with it for your Ex's money, all and none of which you need in your life! He's not worthy of you! Celebrate your new beginnings and prepare to meet the real love of your life!
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A
female
reader, overBee +, writes (17 July 2014):
My ex did this same thing to me. Emailed me photos of him and his new girlfriend. Despite blocking his email and blocking him on all social media, I sadly caved nearly 8 months after the fact. Now I just feel silly for even giving him the attention and disappointed to learn that I'm still not over him (even though I was the one that ended it).
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A
female
reader, odeer123  +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Hey, sweetie, this is something you can actually be empowered by! He's clearly the sore loser here! Doing something like this, he's exposing his weaknesses... He obviously just wants to try and make himself feel better by putting you down! Laugh it off! There's no need to be upset, darling. It's a very childish thing he's done, and believe me, he knows it! React to him, and he'll feel like he's achieved something - don't, and he'll feel embarrassed, and more than a little silly and petty. There's a man out there for you who is 100x better than he... Look forward to what life has in store for you!
xxx
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (28 June 2013):
 You're welcome OP, and it was not only words of encouragement to cheer you up, it's the truth : whomever acts like your ex did, shows a dispiriting lack of class .
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 June 2013):
 Please don't play his game, just IGNORE it.
He wanted to get a reaction, ANY reaction from you. Most likely to make you jealous or to plain out hurt your feelings. Either way, if you continue to ignore it, he "lost" his little game.
And a guy who would do that anyways, surely isn't a keeper, so thank your lucky stars you two aren't together.
chin up!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2013): He wanted to see how jealous you would be .Tell him good luck and move on:)
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A
female
reader, citadel  +, writes (27 June 2013):
WHY? Because he wanted to get a reaction. The one you had, because he new you would have it.
So have your reaction, but never let him see you sweat.
But never under any circumstances retaliate, because
A) You're above that !!! Right?
and
B) It will bother him to his very core.
What comes around goes around in the quietest moments.
Now go for a jog and call a buddy. Life is good!
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A
female
reader, deirdre  +, writes (27 June 2013):
dont be upset and try not to miss him. if you werent such a good thing in his life he generally wouldnt feel the need to do this, and as Maria B says he is basically reporting to you. Im not sure his ''new girl'' would be best pleased if she knew he was doing this. also she could have been a random person he got a photo taken with at a party, night out, or a friend of a friend so if it is any consolation I can assure you that he isnt happy where he is now.
you deserve better, take it from me
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A
female
reader, Mariab +, writes (27 June 2013):
 You should feel flattered that you are so important to him that he wants you to know what he is doing! He is basically reporting to you.
I would reply as the other aunts say... Wow you 2 look great together. Congratulations and take care. xx
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A
female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (27 June 2013):
HI
The classic " I'll make her miss me and beg for me back"
What a hurtful thing to do. Does this not give you a better insight as to what his like as a person? you are better than that. I wouldn't respond at all, he deserves nothing from you, and you deserve a better man in your life when your ready to move on. Block him from all contact and get back out to enjoy your life and new beginnings.
It's a big world out there , so much to learn and so much yet to experience, don't let a small minded man keep you back just because HIS wanting to mess with your mind...Don't allow it.
Mandy x
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (27 June 2013):
 I second CindyCares, only to add send him a response, how sweet and what a lovely couple you make, wishing you happiness. You have to act as if this does not phase you and he failed to get under you skin. Also mention that you are glad that both you and him have moved on and are happier people. This breakup was a blessing for you and him. You are also glad he considers you a friend to share his happiness, as not many people part being friends that they can still share their happiness with.
Why have you not blocked all contact, as this could have then been avoided. Then go out and have fun with your friends, life does not revolve around a man and you can be happy without him, you just need to let go.
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A
female
reader, The hopeless girl +, writes (27 June 2013):
The hopeless girl is verified as being by the original poster of the question @cindycares - thank you so much. I needed that piece of advice and words of encouragement.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (27 June 2013):
It sounds like he really wants to rub it in your face .
If he was the dumpee, .. he is a sore loser.It is a childish " Nyah nyah nyah, look at me , I am doing better than before ! "
But, since it sounds like you were the dumpee, - he must have a huge ego. Maybe you have not been desperate enough for his tastes, you haven't begged or cried, or tried to reconnect, you haven't blown up his phone asking to patch up. On one hand he likes that, on the other he does not, " What? I dump her and she DARES not to be heartbroken ?! Not missing me ?! maybe, moving on , dating new guys even ? So fast ?! Wait, let's send her a little reminder that she has lost all that and a bag of chips ".
What a dunce. Ignore him. That pic may have cut a bit- but it's also a good reminder for you that, whatever you have lost.. you surely haven't lost a gentleman.
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