A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:My wife of 5 years is emotionally abusive and unstable. I don't love her anymore and my heart has become totally closed off to her. Should I stay, though, for our daugher? It's not horrible, but I'm unhappy and counseling hasn't worked. Thank you.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 June 2013):
 never stay in a marriage just for a child that's wrong.
IF you are not happy I'm betting neither is your wife.
A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 If you think that divorce will affect your daughter less than the present situation then I'd say do it. But really look at the long-term effects of your decision to leave your wife and child.
Have you looked at why she has become manipulative and unstable? Is she looking for your attention? Is this her way of dealing with the lack of love in the relationship? Is she manipulative and unstable with everyone or just at home with you? There are so many things to look at. You alone can be the judge but look far before you decide. Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2013): Yes you should leave your wife. However, don't just be the only one to get away from her, take your daughter too. I doubt that your wife would target her abusive behavior only towards you. People who are abusive, that's in their nature, it's ingrained and rarely are the only abusive to one family member and fine with all the others. I bet it would be in your daughter's best interests to not be living in the same house as your wife too, or at least not full time.
Don't wait longer, leave as soon as possible and take your daughter with you or get joint custody. Don't keep the 3 of you together under one roof indefinitely, that's a sure way to increase the chance that your daughter will grow up to have serious issues like her mother or as a result of her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2013): A friend of mine was in the same position years ago and he ended up leaving his wife. And he is much happier now. You have to look at what's best for you and your child. Your child will already be sensing you being "totally closed off" from your wife. Kids don't miss anything. Is your wife emotionally abusive towards you or just your child? If yes do you want your child to see her doing it to you until he/she grows up? If you do decide to leave, don't forget there will be a lot of anger, tears etc. But in the end your child will adapt to the changes and everyone will be happier. It sounds like your child will be going through the same thing when they are growing up (the emotional abuse from your wife)
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (17 June 2013):
 You'd leave your child with an abusive and unstable person? or are you hoping to take your daughter with you?
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