A
female
age
41-50,
*otty
writes:my bf txts his ex constantly. She is a solicitor and helped him gain access to see his son at wkends. i spoke to him and how it makes me feel insecure, her txting him every day and him itching to reply, but waiting till i'm out of the room to do it. he told me she has every right to ask how they are cos if it wasn't for her he wouldn't be where he is with his son today. I can accept that. I'm not an unreasonable person. But i will admit it, I AM JEALOUS. They split up well over a year ago now and it grates on me that he is still so close with her, especially after she cheated on him too. They don't meet up as far as i'm aware, but sometimes my jealousy takes over and my mind starts to think all sorts. How can i keep my jealous rage under control? I have been hurt before so I know where it stems from, i just need advice how to control it. Any suggestions???
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his ex, insecure, jealous, split up Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Tommy7  +, writes (18 October 2007):
It is not normal for a solicitor to keep such close contact. You are being done wrong.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): You are not behaving unreasonable at all. Ask him to gently push her into the background. Do they have kids together or are these kids from another relationship? Sorry, bit confused! If they are not theirs then he shouldnt be hearing from her so often. Tell him exactly how you feel and let him know that you dont see why you have to put up with it. You have a right to your say, whether he does anything about it is another matter. I would give him a time limit in your head, say 3 months to push her into the background, if he doesnt then question whether you actually want to be with him. I wouldnt like this situation either. Let him know how it is.
take care
xxxx
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A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 Her texting him maybe once every couple of months, to see how him and his son are doing might be okay. But every day? That's extreme. That's obsessive. That's what I'd call, a man who is not over his ex. Since she cheated on him, she left him without "closure" and he is subconsciously holding on to the hope that she'll come back. He'll deny it of course. My suggestion is to compromise with him. Tell him you'll accept the "occassional" text message maybe once every 3-4 months but no more every day contact. That's not normal for a man who is involved with someone else. He owes this woman nothing even if she did help him and his son. That's just an excuse in my opinion to keep her close to him. If he doesn't want you to feel jealous, or threatened, or like he still has feelings for her, he needs to only have contact with her once in awhile. Not every day. That will help you keep your jealous rage in control, and make him accountable for what's really going on between them. Good luck.
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