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female
age
30-35,
*ee-Doll
writes:I love someone. He loves someone else. She's beautiful. And I've just found out that she has an an amazing voice too. How am i meant to take his attention away from her?She's just using him.I don't want to see him hurt, not again. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 January 2008): If you don't like it when people answer without knowing the whole story, then tell us the whole story next time, not just a few meager lines and then expect everyone to fill in the blanks. We do the best we can. And if you don't want to be in a relationship until he's over her, then you've answered your own problem, which by the way is not what you asked for help on. So move on. Problem solved. I wish you the best!
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female
reader, Lee-Doll +, writes (24 January 2008):
Lee-Doll is verified as being by the original poster of the question I hate people who answer not knowing the whole story. I am the writer of this question.And in answer to the last response i will elaborate:He is not happy! He keeps telling me that he wants to end his fling with her, but he doesn't want to because they've been friends for years and neither of them want to lose that.And at the moment even he knows that he is being used. And i am trying to sort this out so that HE is happy. I don't want to be in a relationship with him at all until he knows he can stop loving her.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2008): Well if you really do love him, then I think you should let him be and just be happy for him even if he does end up with her. You can't control people and how they feel. That is selfish and it is not loving. When you truly love someone, their happiness is your happiness. And if he thinks she would make him happy then you should respect that.
And give him more credit. I mean don't assume he is utterly naive and is bound to get used. The fact that you think that way shows that you don't have that much faith in his intelligence or his desirablity. I mean if he is so great, what makes you think this girl wouldn't love him just as much as you do? And if she really is using him like you say, then maybe that is just a lesson he is going to have to figure out on his own. Maybe he wants to get used.
But if there truly is something you know about her that leads you to believe she is no good, then you can warn him about what you know. But do so very tactfully and without an agenda. Don't let your ego get in the way. Cause telling someone that they are going to get used is condescending. It means you think he is kind of an idiot or a pushover. So be very careful of how you express this to him. But unless you know for sure, I would probably just stay out of it if I were you.
Look I fell in love once. We dated for two years and eventually he wanted to break things off after he had met some other girl. As much as I loved him (I still do) I quickly moved on, made myself scarce and let him go. I did it because I have dignity and obviously I know I deserve better than that. And I also did it because I respect him and his feelings.
So if you truly love this guy, just be happy for him and respect his feelings.
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female
reader, Sams_WonderWoman  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 If you just be yourself and don't worry too much about the situation on your crush and his user girlfriend. You said that she has an amazing voice, and if she is smoking cigarettes she won't for very long. You also said that she has a beautiful face. Is her beauty from cosmetics or is it just natural beauty without make-up? You can change your hairstyle, and if your mom allows change also your hair color. Try buying some outfits that you think might catch his eye. Also getting into an exercise routine which is fun and also beneficial to your health...and you can also tone up your body and lose a few pounds if you need to. Also exercise is good for getting rid of stress from daily worries that may come your way.
If you want a voice like hers, try getting some karaoki disks with the songs that you really like and practice! Keep at it and don't give up....and do it every day in the privacy of your room or where ever you feel comfortable in. Also try picking up a hobby that you like doing, like artwork for instance, and keep at it improving your styles of artwork. You could even make a career out of it, as I am just about to do.
Just be there for him and don't tell him yourself that his gf is just using him, he might get defensive toward you and back off from you entirely. You certainly don't want that to happen. Just be there for him show him support and caring when he does break up with her. Pray to the good Lord to open his eyes so he can see that she is up to no good. Ask the Lord for you and him to be together. Then leave it up to Him, He will answer your prays.
God Bless You! keep in touch and let us know how everything turns out, ok?
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reader, Moviefan +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Chances are he will have to get hurt or have her do something very hurtfull to see how she really is. And if he loves her then he wont listen to anything you say about her. It will just push him away. I have dealt with a similar situation.
Just wait things out until he smarts up and be there for him once he does get hurt and just be on your best behavior and be yourself. Things may not work out but at least you can say you did what you could and you have no reason to beat yourself up. And sometimes even if things dont work out right then it may months or even years later when he realizes how you were to him.
Good luck!
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reader, Laura1318  +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Just be who you are and on your best always for him.Thats all you can do and hope for the best.If that is not enough, then you are not his clique.Move on.
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female
reader, Laura1318 +, writes (24 January 2008):
Just be who you are and on your best always for him.Thats all you can do and hope for the best.If that is not enough, then you are not his clique.Move on.
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female
reader, nicole5178 +, writes (24 January 2008):
 Competiton should be played with honor and dignity.
That being said, you probably shouldn't view this as competing. If you really like him, he's more than just a game to you. Take his feelings and place them before your own. Show him that you care for him, as a friend if nothing else. Maybe then he'll open up to you about the situation between him and his significant other, and you'll be able to fit yourself in his life, again as a friend if nothing else.
Sirens are mythological creatures that lure men to their doom by singing to them, and therein placing a spell over them. This could be her angle. Show him that you're more than just a good talent, and that you genuinely care for him. Small gestures are the way to go.
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reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (23 January 2008):
 Just wait and be patient. If she's just using him, as you say, then she will grow tired of him and move on to someone else who will bask in her glory. When she does, you'll be there to "pick up the pieces" and perhaps he'll start to see you as more. Just don't expect miracles over night. It may take him months to see her for the bitch she really is. Good luck.
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