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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hey.When I Was 13 I Was Raped By A Guy And His Friends 3 Times And I Didnt Tell AnyyOne About It Although I Wish I Had Of Doe But Its Too Late Now. Well Any Wayy When Me And My Friends Are Talking About Boyfriends And Stuff At School They Always Seem To Ask Me Weaher Or Not Im A Virgin. Which To Me I Arnt But I Kind Of Am. Well I Dont Really Know. But I Count My Self As A Virin And Try My Hardest Not To Think About It.But When I Tell Them Im A Virgin They Bever Ever Believe Me And They Make Up Stories And Tell People I Have Slept With ****** -- My Boyfriend... But I Havent And I Dont Want People Saying I Have Either. How Do I Get Them To Belive Im A Virgin Without Eplaining My Past With Them?Love ****** -- Aged 15... XxX Reply to this Question
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male
reader, OwHiTeLiOnO  +, writes (25 April 2008):
 I'm not going to sugarcoat anything, you are not a virgin, you are a pornstar. It is not many women in this world that can say they have been with that many guys at once. So just stop being in denial, enjoy it, you lived it, be thankful that you felt nothing but pleasure, you were not murdered or anything, those are the real victims. Accept it, stop being ashamed & you will save yourself lots of money when you are older for not having to go to therapy.
OwHiTeLiOnO
A
female
reader, Kept Women +, writes (21 October 2007):
 until you have sex with someone you love you are a virgin, rape is hardly at all like it will be when you're in love...
Just smile next time your friends ask if you're a virgin and say "I'll never tell"
These years of these kind of worries will soon be gone,
If what happen with them 3 guys bothers you a lot then you should tell someone, in New York you have 7 years to back on a rape charge! But I think you'd get more from self healing then making a big deal out of it and having it in the papers and all over town.. Sorry to hear that happen to you! Maybe the school counselor can help you find the right source to talk with about it..
Best of luck..
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2007): Hello Sweetie, Physicaly you lost your virginity but not mentally you did'nt loose it, it was stolen. Someone who loves and cares for you should understand this. Just remenber it wasn't your fault. If they don't understand this mabey they are not the people you wan't to surround yourself with. Its never too late to tell someone about it you may need a counseler to get over your ordeal. Good Luck, STAY STRONG
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female
reader, Fairy_Lu  +, writes (18 October 2007):
 You were raped you didnt lose your virginity by choice it was stolen from you, i was raped at a young age aswell and i told people i was a virgin because in my mind i still was because i didnt have a choice that it was taken, you dont have to tell your friends anything and if there being cruel to you then there not your friends
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): I don't believe in "born again virginity" at all. But I do believe that if your virginity was taken during a rape, then you can still consider yourself a virgin afterward. You experienced something that is totally different from consensual sex and you didn't even decide to do it in the first place.
The fact that you were raped is a MUCH, MUCH BIGGER deal than anything that your "friends" might be saying about virginity right now. I think you should really seek out help for this. You should get counseling ASAP even though you might think you're doing okay.
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A
female
reader, Emaz help +, writes (17 October 2007):
 you can either tell them your past and hope they can deal with it or not tell them and just tell them that you're a virgin
if it was me i would just say i was a virgin but then before having sex i would tell my partner what had happend, so at least you aren't lying to him
As you haven't told anyone about being raped, i wouldn't tell your friend as they could tell other people and you would have to deal with it all over again
if you really think that you can't bring it back up without feeling really hurt again then just forget it and say.......pretend it never happend
but if you are still not dealing with it then speak to someone confidentially
=]
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A
male
reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
You don't need to explain your virginity status to anyone. The girls telling tales on you are not your friends. Tell you parents about the rapes. It's not too late.
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A
female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 You are dealing with two problems. Number one, your friends are teasing you about sleeping with your b/f (mainly because they're hoping you'll cough up the details in some sort of juicy story) but this is no one's business but yours. So tell them nothing at all. Let them think what they want, because they're going to anyhow. Number two, as for sleeping with your b/f, I would wait if I were you. When you're older, you will find a wonderful man, and then you can simply tell him the truth. If he's mature, he won't judge you and it will not matter to him one way or another if he loves you. But at your age, I wouldn't expect any boy of 15, 16, 17, or 18 to understand what has happened to you, or to keep their mouth shut about it after you share the story. When they ask about your virginity, just smile and tell them it's none of their business. Leaving them guessing is the best thing to do in this situation. They are being childish and immature to keep up this game. (And P.S. When you write, skip using so many Caps. It's hard to read.) Thanks and good luck!! xoxox
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): I was given a date rate drug when I was a little older than you and was raped. I was a virgin. I still consider myself to have been a virgin afterwards. Ignore what other people say. For some reason teenagers like to pass this particular rumour around.
If you haven't spoken to anyone about the rape, and gotten some help, I suggest that you do. It has a way of rearing its ugly head when you get older and messing with you head and life. I didn't get help until I was almost 30. Get help now.
Take care.
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