A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:If a man simply cannot say "I love you" is it possible that he replaces these words with another phrase, such as "It's suppose to rain today so drive carefully."? My guy says this or something similar whenever I tell him I miss him, or I love him or I'm looking forward to seeing him. I'm not a bad driver so I really don't think its real concern over my driving. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI posted this as a separate question, but I was wondering what you guys thought since you read the original email. thanks for your feedback!
I was eating in a restaurant with my guy who can't say he loves me the other night and we were discussing our daughters whose birthdays are three weeks apart. They are both 20 and talking about marrying their boyfriends.
Out of the blue, he asked me what kind of wedding I would want if I got remarried. I said that the justice of the peace was fine with me and he said that's what he wanted to do too.
I didn't think too much about it at the time, but now I am wondering. Is that the kind of a question that a man asks a woman he's been seeing for 8 months if it is not something he is thinking about or am I reading too much into it?
Guys?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): Dont be cheated gal, the guy either does not love you or is afraid to love you! A real man does not fear in expressing the way he feels about a gal(for heavens sake he calls himself your boyfriend). Ask him one question, "Do you love me or not?" Good luck in your endevours!
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): @Peoriaman: You're kidding me right?
So you're saying that 100% of all mankind would not be in love if they can't say it verbally? Is that the same as saying 100% of all artists who can't verbally explain the feelings they get from creating their artwork, don't really understand their own work?
[ahem]
As for the Ms 36-40, there are various reasons for this. He can simply be awkward about saying things verbally, versus the things he does for and with you. If his actions shows for his lack of verbal affection, then it shows that way any way.
Another reason can be that he isn't aware that saying those three little words, or some other form of verbal affection is a good thing that some women really need and/or want. So on some level, he may actually be avoiding those verbal affections due to his lack of awareness of his woman's desire.
Another possible reason is that he is a macho man. Is he a macho man who only wants visual and verbal affection from his woman while he is THE MAN in the relationship? Understand where I'm getting at here?
Furthering another possibility, is that he isn't in love with you?
BTW, Ladysuzanna, that is ONE DAMN LONG RUN ON SENTENCE. Wow. Be glad I was never your English teacher! ^_^
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2007): I can care for a co-work by saying take care while out on the roads. It is care not love. Men tend to show love through deeds while women want to hear it communicated. He most likely does love you but he doesnt verbalize it vis "I LOVE YOU". Tell him that that is how love is to be communicated to you. It doesnt hurt to say it and he has to recognize that it needs to be said and it isnt non-manly to do. make sure you tell him you need to hear it from him. Don't expect that he will come around--that isnt fair. You have to tell him so he knows.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): I know what you might be feeling. It's about like being told I love you but not in love with you but I would hurt someone over you in a heartbeat. Kissing you goodbye when you breakup. Still making contact with you even though he says you should foget about him. Mixes signals.. maybe..Confused ...maybe..In love...Maybe...and his language of love........could be it's his only way of expressing it with out really letting go and saying it. Like when you might say I love you and he answers gently I know you do..and he still wants to keep in contact..Give it time and who knows he just might say those words in the real language of love. I LOVE YOU...Smile and be happy you can love and be happy that he cares enough to give of himself even though it isn't always the way you understand it. God bless you and help you both to come to terms with your LOVE.
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 October 2007): This is so funny that you have posted this here. I have been with my boyfriend for a year now. He told me that he would never tells me that " he loves me" because these were the last words he told his mom before she passed away and he does not want that happen to me.( crazy, I know ) but he said that it does not mean that he does not love me though. So since then he has came up with this thing that every time he tells me that "" YOU ARE THE BEST"" means that he loves me...well...it took me almost a year to kind of get used to this..I am still not 100% used to this language but I guess it is better than nothing...I think you should ask him if he means he loves you when he says drive safe!!!
Good luck.
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reader, Tommy7 +, writes (17 October 2007):
You are right that some men feel corny saying "I love you" so they express it in other ways.
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female
reader, lovejunkie  +, writes (17 October 2007):
 Men are perfectly capable of telling a women they love them -- when they do. Perhaps he's just not sure yet so he doesn't want to rush into saying something until he's sure. You don't really say how long you've been together but if the relationship is new (6-8 months or less) I'd give it more time. Men usually take longer to decide if they actually love a woman, where as most women know right away. Or you could simply ask him point blank why he never says it. Just be prepared for the truth. Good luck.
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reader, ladysuzanna +, writes (17 October 2007):
 i think because he does not so he just say it a different way i give you a example i lived with a man for six years last three he never told me he loved me never buy a card with the word love no sex no affection after a while i grew to hate him my heart us broke how do you treat someone gives so much love and stops i don't know much about your sex life but ask yourself when your around family or friends don't there partners tell them i love you did you ever ask him why he never tells you i love you but i bet he will say i love that car things like that can he write it on a paper maybe it just the way he is but i see you are being to find it strange maybe he does not want to lie to you this is your man you should know him better than i if he never told us i would think it's his way but if he did before and does not now maybe something wrong good luck
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