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This question has 13 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
8 March 2009: I've realised something which has taken me around 18 years to figure out...I'm writing this article as theremay be some people out there who still haven't figured this out! 'Life is too short' is the best expression ever, it can help you to make des...
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How do I tell my parents I'm in a relationship without hurting them?
Q. Hi,i'm just after some advice. Several months ago (about 4months now) I started seeing a guy quite a lot older than me (25years). We have spent a lot of time together, got to know eachother and have fallen in love. We get on so well and have ...
A. 4 February 2009: well your 21 now and officially an adult, he's not even that much older than you, its only 4years. tell them and then it will be a weight off your shoulders, i really hope t goes well for you, introduce them to your boyfriend and then they can see ... (read in full...)
Is my penis normal? And are my friends really as big as they say?
Q. I'm 16 and have around a 3" penis when erect, is this normal? Also my "friends" say their like 6+ can this be true or are they just trying to show off?...
A. 4 February 2009: every penis is different! if you are really worried talk to a doctor! be glad because its better that women being horrified by a large penis! x... (read in full...)
Is he really telling me the truth this time?
Q. My ex wants me to take him back but I was really done with him this time. We have been together for 2 1/2 yrs straight and off and on for the other 3 1/2. It was his choice when we were not together. He was my first everything and we have a ...
A. 4 February 2009: he sounds like he likes the idea of the stability that you provide in a relationship, personally i wouldnt let him get back with me! you have a daughter and so you should keep contact for her sake however i'm sure that there are plenty of amazing ... (read in full...)
How can I convince my Mom to get her and us out of this house and this misery?
Q. Okay so i am 16 and my parents are goin throuh divorce.....sorta. They have agreed to divorce and alls they do is yell. my mom is looking for a house. She cant talk about it in front of my dad b/c he starts rampaging about how she just needs to ...
A. 4 February 2009: try to convince her that the situation will improve alot when you move! show her the question that you have put on here and show her this answer. i'm sure that you mum is a good mum and she is entitled to half of everything so she really should ... (read in full...)
How do I tell my parents I'm in a relationship without hurting them?
Q. Hi,i'm just after some advice. Several months ago (about 4months now) I started seeing a guy quite a lot older than me (25years). We have spent a lot of time together, got to know eachother and have fallen in love. We get on so well and have ...
A. 4 February 2009: well you are both of a legal age and you are both adults!
tell them that you would really appreciate their approval and you would love them to meet your new boyfriend. maybe go out for drinks or a meal? could you answer a question, why would they... (read in full...)
She's winning people over..especially him!
Q. Right ok this may sound confusing but really it is quite simple. Basically this last that aprently used to like me n i liked him, we had some awkwardnes last eyar between us. But we sorted it all out n we've been like the best of friends for these ...
A. 4 February 2009: ok, i'm glad you simplified the story at the end coz it was very complicated! first of all dont let yourself be angry at her because she is jealous, we all get jealous sometimes.secondly, as much as she seems to be making a war of this dont let ... (read in full...)
Is this just a hopeless relationship or not?
Q. im so confused over this guy!! we were seeing other briefly for a while a few months back and then it got very brief..such as seeing him once every couple of weeks. i went to see him a week ago and since then we havent spoke. i saw him out last ...
A. 4 February 2009: well, the only way you will find out if this is hopeless or not is to speak to him, however to me it sounds like he's not hat interested (sorry to be blunt about it) i'm sure theres alot of better people out there for you than him, someone who is ... (read in full...)
He's straight, how can I deal with the feelings I have for him?
Q. i am a masters student. i'm in this class with another guy. the class is really tough and most of us do our homework in groups, discussion mainly. so this guy and me started working together. i think i'm in love with the guy, or at least am deeply ...
A. 4 February 2009: hmm this is a tough situation. you could try opening up and talking to him? if this is out of the question then you're going to have to live with it. i strongly suggest you come out of the closet, it will feel like a release to you, a weight from ... (read in full...)
Connection at work - what should I do? Do you think she has feelings for me?
Q. I was moved for training at my center where I work. I was placed for training 2 weeks - my trainer and I had a connection, always touching my hand and making a comment about my ph voice. I left to go down to a diffrant area- she would find excuses ...
A. 4 February 2009: could you simlify this, i would love to give advice however i cant follow the story. thanks so much. x... (read in full...)
Am I setting myself up to get hurt?
Q. Is she really interested as I am ? Met a woman six months ago while out at lunch. Gave her my card as we really really had a nice connected coversation and upon shaking hands the eye contact and chemistry was outstanding. Six months go by and...
A. 4 February 2009: you're right to pursue her however she does seem like she has a lot on her plate at the minute. i would talk to her and see what she would like, that way you know where you stand. she may well be as interested as you are but she may not have the ... (read in full...)
Older woman will not think of me as a sex partner
Q. I have a friend who is an older woman. I would like sex with her. However she does not think of me as a potential sex partner. How can I change that? ...
A. 4 February 2009: well talk to her and slip it in conversation. you cant change her mind if she doesnt want you as a sex partner but at least if you talk to her, you'll find out the reason behind her not wanting you like you want her. keep me updated.x... (read in full...)
Does he want me just for sex?
Q. Hi I am 27 years old, and it has happened to me many times, that guys only want to have sex with me, I am very atractive but I also have a great career, i am profetional and finantially stable, i am also very selective to pick my partners, so I can ...
A. 4 February 2009: it doesnt sound to me like he wants you for just sex but if you are still unsure then hold off sex for a whle and see how it goes...monitor his reactions. let me know what his reactions were an i will be able to help more. keep me updated. x... (read in full...)
Why have I lost my sex drive with my man? I've considered cheating!
Q. Help im so confused! I been with my boyfriend just over a yr and half we have a 7 month old daughter together. We have had our problems, with him drinkin but he is doin much better now. I do love him and am attracted to him its just for a while now ...
A. 4 February 2009: have you tried new things in the bedroom to stop your boredom? talk and tell him how you feel, say that your lacking in sex drive right now and you need abit of motivation. dont cheat on him, it will make the situation worse! if you are planning to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is interferring with his sister's love life
Q. My boyfriend wants his sister to stop going out with his very close friend. He just found out they are going out on dates and stuff...told her to end it. He feels that he's a bum and is only being nice to her to get into her pants. I guess he kno...
A. 4 February 2009: well it is wrong, he should guide his sister and be there for her but he cant get too involved in her love life, she is entitled to make her own decsisions. he must know his friend well enough to express an opinion that he is no good for his sister ... (read in full...)
Am I wanting too much? Too soon? Paranoid?
Q. I recently met the most wonderful guy through a mutual friend, who is intelligent, caring and makes me feel wonderful. He doesnt want to rush anything, and is not ready for a serious relationship, as he had a bad experience last time. This is fine ...
A. 4 February 2009: i hope it works out for you! good luck keep in touch. xx... (read in full...)
8 year relationship with no proof of one
Q. my man and i have been together for a little over 8 years now and we have a 2 year old daughter together.....we have been through alot together and i just hate giving up but lately i don't feel like i care anymore............in 2005 we were supposed ...
A. 4 February 2009: i hope your situation changes! i'll keep you updated on mine but you're right, it has only been 2years so i dont expect much from him at the minute (as much as i would love him to propose). keep in touch. xx... (read in full...)
How do I not make love with the man of my dreams??
Q. i'm in love with this gr8 guy who happens to be all i've eva wantd +more. he makes me feel lyk flying and i love him to bits. this myt sound silly but i need ideas on how not to have sex- yet. he asked once but we talked about it and we agreed t...
A. 4 February 2009: thats brilliant, best of luck to you both. keep me informed! xx... (read in full...)
Am I wanting too much? Too soon? Paranoid?
Q. I recently met the most wonderful guy through a mutual friend, who is intelligent, caring and makes me feel wonderful. He doesnt want to rush anything, and is not ready for a serious relationship, as he had a bad experience last time. This is fine ...
A. 3 February 2009: hmmm, he should ditch the dating site! he sounds interested. give it abit more time. dont get paranoid as easy as it is in this situation. i'm sure things will happen for you soon. keep me updated. x... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid here? Am I crazy???
Q. I have taken a pregnancy test that came out negative, but my period is irregular, I'm gaining weight even though I'm dieting and exercising, I'm tired, my boobs are sore, and are getting bigger and I'm always hungry. I just don't want to be one of ...
A. 3 February 2009: Are you happy about it? xx... (read in full...)
What are his intentions...is he desperate or just being friendly?
Q. I hooked up with this guy a month ago. He said after the incident took place that he had a good time, but that he wasn't looking for anything more than that. Since then, every couple of days he has been texting me or emailing me asking me about what ...
A. 3 February 2009: firstly be aware of the fact that he could use you, dont let this happen.
he seems nice enough so why dont you just ask him, tell him that you need to know.
i hope it goes well for you. keep me updated. x... (read in full...)
I have got accepted for a job nearer him but he's going to join the army....will I always be wondering 'what if'?
Q. Theres a man Ive liked for over 4 years now (I got talking to him more after I'd split up with my ex)and we became really flirty and really good friends wieh eachother (over the internet). Last year, we finally met up with eachother (3 times, he ...
A. 3 February 2009: this is heart breaking and you need to discuss it with him, tell him how you feel about him moving however you need to make it clear that you arent trying to stop im from going.
if he doesnt feel as strongly as you do then maybe it would be a sig... (read in full...)
Should I still try be friends with them, or move on?
Q. So I've been best friends with these two guys for a couple years. We all look at porn and masturbate. One time I was at work and they were looking at internet porn together and they thought it would be new and exiting to give each other hand jobs. ...
A. 3 February 2009: you can tell them that you feel left out, tell them you want to be able to be their friend.
if they block you out then there is no harm in making new friends, this maybe the start of a relationship for them and so they may need time alone, w... (read in full...)
How do I not make love with the man of my dreams??
Q. i'm in love with this gr8 guy who happens to be all i've eva wantd +more. he makes me feel lyk flying and i love him to bits. this myt sound silly but i need ideas on how not to have sex- yet. he asked once but we talked about it and we agreed t...
A. 3 February 2009: this is a hard one! if you think the time is right and you do make love with him then you wont resent yourself after it...
ask him about marriage and tell him how you feel! he needs to know your views on this.
to avoid making love go on dates... (read in full...)
How do I know if he is truly interested?
Q. I have an old flame who I am very interested in getting to know again. In messages he sounds very interested and excited but he doesn't call at all even though he says he is going to. He claims he is just really busy with school and work so how do I ...
A. 3 February 2009: well he could be busy, on the other hand he could just not be interested. arrange a set time to talk or even call him! if a guy told me he was gonna call and he didnt i would give him another chance. if he blew his second chance then i wouldnt ... (read in full...)
Do you think I should wait for her to come back from her year out and ask her out again?
Q. Hello, A year or so back I started university and made friends with one of the kindest and nicest looking girls I have met. We meet up every week to chat and frequently chat online too. In November I took her to the botanical gardens to tell ...
A. 3 February 2009: you seem so nice and she should count herself lucky to have you in her life. you are respecting what she wants which is an amazing thing, i would wait a while and see how her situation changes. i have no idea why she would date an alcoholic, its ... (read in full...)
I didn't want him to know how I felt
Q. I've fancied my flatmate ever since we met but I've been doing the right thing and just keeping my distance because we're flatmates and we have to live together. We have a very close relationship regardless, and we always have drinks together in ...
A. 3 February 2009: talk and find out exactly what you did and said. when you know this you can either pass it off as being drunk or you can admit your feelings and then explain that its because you live together that you havent mentioned it and that you dont want ... (read in full...)
I can't get over the past, even now we're back together
Q. So i asked a question similar to this before. I had trouble with my boyfriend and his ex having conversations that they shouldn't have been whislt i was with him. In the end we had to finish our relationship as i was so paranoid and he was ...
A. 3 February 2009: well if drinking makes the situation worse then it would be a start to leave it alone for a while until it improves. i am in a similar situation to you so i can really relate. paranoia is aweful, ts not your fault though. sit down with your ... (read in full...)
How have people gone from similar points with relationships - friends to more than friends?
Q. So I am hoping for some guidance or advice from some of the people on here. I have this girl who I have liked for a few years and we went to college together and still keep in touch and hang out every couple of weeks or so. Two years ago we got ...
A. 3 February 2009: first of all talk to her, sort out how you feel and then sort out the situation of her ex. just organise your thoughts and speak clearly. keep me updated!
yes it has happened to me before, in most cases it didnt work out however your situatio... (read in full...)
Can we get though this or am I kidding myself that he is sorry?
Q. Hi i wrote on this site a while ago after i found out about my husbands 3 affairs.Since then we have tried to work things out i accept some of the blame as to why he cheated but feel that he should of talked about the way he felt at the time.In my ...
A. 3 February 2009: he was wrong to hit you, if he does it again you need to tell the police. if he loved you he wouldn't hit you. if i was cheated on i would have to leave him as without trust a relationship isnt worth anything! i can understand that you want answers, ... (read in full...)
Should I tell his new girl that I had sex with him?
Q. Me and my ex bf broke up about a year ago, we were on and off for 5 years. He chased me for years and i knocked him back, until finaly i thought i'd just give him a go, and lived together for 7 months, i thought i wasnt happy so i walked out. He ...
A. 3 February 2009: telling her would be very spiteful and she has done nothing wrong, i would take the high road and discuss this with your boyfriend. having sex with him whilst you knew he had a girlfriend was wrong (i've done it too, i know know it was wrong of me) ... (read in full...)
Are his questions healthy?
Q. Is it healthy for a boyfriend to ask his girlfriend about her past in such details so as to know (for example) how large another man was, how he made her reach orgasm, how strong the orgasms were with other men, or how long they would go down on her ...
A. 3 February 2009: no, instead of focusing on other men he should focus on what he does and how he can improve. he probably lacks self confidence so tell him what you like about what he does but tell him how you feel when he asks you about other men. keep me ... (read in full...)
How can I make sense of this so that I can move on with my current boyfriend?
Q. I met my ex boyfriend a few years ago and fell deeply in love with him, I never knew love like this before, he was everything to me. He told me he loved me too, we started to look for a house together, talked about kids and everything was great ...
A. 3 February 2009: my advice...never look back. take your chances with your new boyfriend, your ex has probably just got lonely and thought of contacting you. your ex sounds like he didnt care and if he loved you then he wouldnt have put you down and abused you like ... (read in full...)
Am I destined to be fat forever?
Q. I need to, and I have decided I am going to try. I feel like a fat hog, and it's gotten to the point where I'm sick of looking in the mirror. To tell the truth, I am so scared, though. I've read about, and been told, that there are some people ...
A. 3 February 2009: firstly you could speak to a doctor, he will give great tips. eat healthily (dont do fad diets,) join a gym or even do simple things such as walking for 30mins a day, this will boost your confidence about exercising. let me know how it goes. xx... (read in full...)
8 year relationship with no proof of one
Q. my man and i have been together for a little over 8 years now and we have a 2 year old daughter together.....we have been through alot together and i just hate giving up but lately i don't feel like i care anymore............in 2005 we were supposed ...
A. 3 February 2009: well i cant even imagine how frustrated you must be with the situation, i have been with my boyfriend for two years and i'm already angry that he hasnt proposed yet, i'm ready to settle down and eventually start a family and sometimes i feel like he ... (read in full...)
Does he mean it when he says he loves me?
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for a year and 3 months and in the beginning of january i found out that he had doubts since the beginning of december if he loved me anymore, we sorted things out and he told me that he does love me and ...
A. 2 February 2009: if u still arent sure then discus it again with him, if he loves you and cares about what you are feeling then he wont mind reassuring you. xx... (read in full...)
I get guys but lately I've just been going after the ones that I know I can't have.. What is wrong with me cuz I'm a wreck right now?
Q. I'm just a mess.. me and my boyfriend broke up last week and I've been trying soo hard to get over him. I was in love with him and I got very weak but at times I was strong and I guess I'm over it. I hung out for the first time with this guy that ...
A. 2 February 2009: he's no good for you if he wants to use you for sex! if you need more out of a relationship then stand strong! dont be used for sex, you will regret it! x... (read in full...)
Girl who didn't want a realtionship with me - can I date her best friend?
Q. Last summer, I(38) went out 5-6 times with a lady, Susan(33). However, things between us didn't work out; she was "not ready for anything heavy due to a busy schedule" I kept in contact ,discreetly,but at the same time I kept dating as Susan ...
A. 2 February 2009: by the way you have wrote this it sounds like you are a methodical and patient man! i think you should contact vivian at least then you will know where you stand, life is too short to be uncertain of anything! as adults i think everyone involved is ... (read in full...)
I'm scared that I don't love my fiance anymore
Q. been with my fience for 3 years. im scared i dont love him anymore,i know deep down i do,but im scared im doing it all wrong and maybe there is someone better out there for us both one minute he annoyes me and we will argue and the moment i see him...
A. 2 February 2009: this must be a stage which relationships go through round about this time, i've been with my boyfriend for just over to years. sometimes i feel like you, i know i love him but theres always going to be a 'what if...' being committed to someone means ... (read in full...)
How can I cope with my boyfriend going to prison?
Q. my boyfriends going away to prison for 7 months and i don't know how im gonna cope. i had to wait for my last boyfriend for a year and a half and i don't know if i could do it again? i don't want him to go but i can't do anything about it? how am i ...
A. 2 February 2009: you seem to have a little habit of picking boys who are prison bound. choose more carefully and have more respect for yourself! him going to prison will be good for you. use the time to pamper yourself and think about where you want to go in life! ... (read in full...)
We are virgins and getting married soon - any advice about our first time?
Q. Hi I am getting married in a few months. We are both virgins..but I am scared. Don't know how he feels about the first time. Is it painful? If I bleed a bit will he be disgusted about it? What is the best position?...
A. 2 February 2009: i didnt bleed the first time, neither dd my friend. it didnt hurt us either. make sure you're relaxed, take it slowly and talk and discuss things. good luck.x... (read in full...)
If I talk to another guy on MSN, is this cheating?
Q. okay, so i have been goin' out with my guy for ages now, and i'm in a secret and luving relationship. about 5 days ago, a lad added me on msn, and we started talking all he does is shower me with compliments, but everytime he talks to me, afterward...
A. 2 February 2009: think of it this way...would you like it if your boyfriend was talking to a girl on msn the way you talk to this guy?x... (read in full...)
Why is he not comfortable when I kiss him?
Q. I'm confused about my guy. I have just started to date him in the last few weeks and he is quite comfortable when I rest my arm on him and hold his hand - but when we kiss he never uses his tongue and I'm sure he leaves his eyes open too!! - What's ...
A. 2 February 2009: he may just like to kiss like this. i would ask him, bring it up in conversation. good luck.x... (read in full...)
Am I being paranoid here? Am I crazy???
Q. I have taken a pregnancy test that came out negative, but my period is irregular, I'm gaining weight even though I'm dieting and exercising, I'm tired, my boobs are sore, and are getting bigger and I'm always hungry. I just don't want to be one of ...
A. 2 February 2009: you're right to be concerned, i would visit the doctor again if you are unhappy, you can buy a pregnancy test from the chemist or go to a family planning clinic. there may be underlying issues,if a pregnancy test has come out negative then you may ... (read in full...)
I get guys but lately I've just been going after the ones that I know I can't have.. What is wrong with me cuz I'm a wreck right now?
Q. I'm just a mess.. me and my boyfriend broke up last week and I've been trying soo hard to get over him. I was in love with him and I got very weak but at times I was strong and I guess I'm over it. I hung out for the first time with this guy that ...
A. 2 February 2009: right now you have to sort your frame of mind out before you start thinking about boys! i'm sure you felt what was similar to love with your ex but believe me,so does everyone at your age. i had my first serious boyfriend at your age and i thought i ... (read in full...)
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