A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Me and my ex bf broke up about a year ago, we were on and off for 5 years. He chased me for years and i knocked him back, until finaly i thought i'd just give him a go, and lived together for 7 months, i thought i wasnt happy so i walked out. He went to live at his mums because he could afford rent and when i realised i had made a mistake and missed him i moved to his mums with him. After a while I cheated on him a few times with his friend while we were together which hurt him deeply, but he took me back, until one day it must have all got too much for him and he dumped me and told me to leave his mothers house. I realised i loved him, and because i was 6 years older and wanted to settle down, realised he was a good catch because he ran around after me, bought me what i wanted and was realy nice to me! I begged for him back but he said he hated me. I went to counselling after this as i was so hurt and i could never have him back. He started seeing a new woman 3 months after he dumped me, everybody told me how happy he was, and it hurt. I rang and text him a lot because i wanted money for my furniture that he had in the new flat that he'd moved into with her! After only 4 months! I was very angry as he refused to give me cash and wouldnt talk to me. I rang him one night to again demand money, and told him i had told his best mates what he was doing and they thought he was an idiot, he then said right, well ive booked a hotel for us, meet me there! So i did! knew he was seein a new woman but he wouldnt speak about her, we had sex in the shower and on the bed, and talked for a bit then fell asleep. A few months later i saw him at his mates and would talk to him, as i left he text me and asked for a lift home. I gave him a lift and then he mentioned i could come up for a coffee and that his girlfriend was away for the weekend. He was acting odd, and we ended up talking and then had sex on the floor in his lounge room. I had to leave shortly after that as i was bleeding because of an operation i had on my cervix. Whats this about? Should i tell her?
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broke up, cervix, money, moved in, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2009): This might help you to get some perspective;http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-had-sex-with-the-ex-to-mess.htmlHope you can make sense of things!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): This is a joke... you sound bored, probably it's best to give up men and get yourself a better job.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 Please tell me you clicked on the wrong age bracket...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): I was so angry! I went round and told her last nite when he was at work, she was shocked, i told her everything! Today she must have got my num off his phone and rang me to tell me that he said he only had sex with me to mess with my head just like i messed with his, and the only reason he had sex with me was to teach me a lesson to leave him alone. I knew it was wierd both times, especialy at his flat, he was acting odd, but i didnt realise that was why, but i knew i felt distraut when we had finished and it didnt last long. Oh my god, he is a nasty horrible pig. She says they are staying together! I cant believe he is going to get away with doin this to me! Although, maybe he's lying to her, maybe we do have a shot at it again, maybe he was just lying because he had been caught and dosent want to look bad! What should i do now!
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A
female
reader, Jendorset +, writes (3 February 2009):
Perhaps he has always been a cheat, perhaps he cant resist you. Whichever it is he is stupid, he should have stayed away from you for good after he finished with you. Maybe his new girlfriend is boreing, i think your cruel for what you have done. Just because you are hurting doesnt mean you should cause hurt to someone else like this other girl. She hasnt done anything wrong. Why tell her ? So she is hurt and you wont feel left out then. Because you want him back ? Why bother you had your chance. You cheated on him then when he tryed to find happiness you kept phoneing up for money which i dont think you deserved. Just find someone else and leave them alone you sad sad woman. they will probly break up anyway because he sounds almost as much of a cheater as you.
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A
male
reader, Dazzerg +, writes (3 February 2009):
 No, you should not. You and him sound like an unholy mess; of course he shouldnt have cheated with you but you are hardly in a position to judge him for that. I suggest you draw a line under the whole affair; don't contact him, don't respond to him, write off anything you lost.
If he is going to stray from his new partner then he will be found out soon enough and events will take their natural course without you assisting them. Do you want them to split up so you two can have another shot?? I can't help feeling that is your hidden hope here.
You two may well like and love each other still but you clearly arent good for each other. You need to learn from this experience and I do hope you can go on from here and grow with somebody new :)x
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx +, writes (3 February 2009):
 telling her would be very spiteful and she has done nothing wrong, i would take the high road and discuss this with your boyfriend. having sex with him whilst you knew he had a girlfriend was wrong (i've done it too, i know know it was wrong of me) however, on the other hand, she needs to know her boyfriend is deceptful and a cheater! in my opinion you both could do better without him! keep me updated. xx
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