A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi I am 27 years old, and it has happened to me many times, that guys only want to have sex with me, I am very atractive but I also have a great career, i am profetional and finantially stable, i am also very selective to pick my partners, so I can normally tell when a guy only wants me for sex, also before my current boyfriend I only had one relationship that lasted for 5 years, where the sex was not good, the things that would made be with him for so long was the feelings for him, but there was no passion.My current one year boyfriend have a very strong sexual desires towards me, we don't live together but we see each other 3 times a week, some days he can have sex like 3 times, and I honestly like it, because I have also a very high sex drive, we have a lot of passion for each other, and my boyfriend is good with me, he is very gentelman, he has stop seeing his friends in order to be able to spend time with me ( he has a very tight schedule) he has took me to meet his family and friends. He calls me the days we don't meet(not all days, sometimes I am the one that calls, other times he does it) But I still wonders if he does all this just for the sex with me. He is always telling me that I look good, that he likes my body, things like that, and don't get me wrong, I have a lot passion towards him. so how can I tell if he only wants me for sex or not?
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male
reader, The old Man? +, writes (4 February 2009):
 I'm kind of torn here. Both of the previous answers are very good, and accurate, but I have a different take.
I agree with what kellyxx says, in the sense that cutting back will test his motive.
I can see why you have this question in your mind.
In his mind, he could be thiking, "If I text her, call her, tell her she's pretty and stuff,I get sex 3 times a week"!
Now that could be a sweet set up for a guy who is always busy. And the fact that he cuts time with his friends to be with you, That's a no brainer! If a guy has a choice of hanging with his buddies or good sex, the buddies lose!!!
However, as putguy says, cutting him off will send a message that there are conditions. Personally, I don't see it as "conditions" per say, but it may make him wonder if you are seeing someone else.
How about on some of the nights when the two of you get together, instead of having sex, suggest that you go to dinner, or something else. Don't cut the sex off completely, but back it off a little. Say maybe instead of sex 3 nights a week, cut it back to once or twice. Go do other things instead.
If he starts getting upset over this, there's your answer.
A
male
reader, aman +, writes (4 February 2009):
It's really not possible to tell, in the end. You could wait 6 months without sex, but maybe he's willing to wait for the payoff.
If you really like him and you think he really like you (not just your body), you can't let these thoughts get in the way. You have no way of knowing. You can't punish him for something past guys have done, just like stores can't treat every customer like a thief just because it has happened a few times before.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 February 2009): Hi I am the original poster, I have ask him if he wants me just for sex, he always deny it, he sometimes tell me to stop to have sex for one month for me to see that he doesn't want me only for sex
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A
female
reader, kellyxxx  +, writes (4 February 2009):
 it doesnt sound to me like he wants you for just sex but if you are still unsure then hold off sex for a whle and see how it goes...monitor his reactions. let me know what his reactions were an i will be able to help more. keep me updated. x
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