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When we're apart I just don't feel happy!

Tagged as: Breaking up, Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 24 April 2010)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

After two years together and a couple weeks without communication, we decided to stay together. He talked to some friends, and he came to the consensus he should stay.

On the night of our talk this song immediately came on, "You're my Best Friend", and it was like a sign that we should stay together.This was last week.

We're both in school, work full time, but we don't live together.

I'm starting to get the feeling that I'm not happy.I've had nightmares every night about him that he's either leaving me, we're arguing, or he's cheating on me.And when I wake up I just want to leave.

I know when we're together everything seems good, but when we are apart I just don't feel happy.I feel confused and lost.

He talks to me over the phone and in text messages, but it's distant. I love him but I feel like I have to let him go. I don't want to. I really want to build a life with someone and I don't want to let these past two years go to waste. I feel like something I don't want to hear is coming, and it hurts bad. It burns.

Will I ever find this "true happiness"? Will I ever feel the same way with someone else?

View related questions: best friend, text

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A female reader, KRSMouse United Kingdom +, writes (24 April 2010):

You talk about letting the past two years go to waste, but if you are not happy, perhaps you should consider that more years spent in this relationship will also go to waste! Odds are if you're miserable and wanting out, then you'll break up sooner or later anyway, and it might be better to get out now as time only makes things harder.

I don't get the impression that you have sat down and talked to him about this. If you are happy when you are together, maybe you need to try to spend more time together? Talk about how you feel when you are apart due to the way he texts you being cold. He may not even realise he is doing it.

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A male reader, Brunel Wallis and Futuna +, writes (24 April 2010):

Yes! Yes! Of course you will? You are so young anyway surely you need to find out a little bit more about life? It is not all about 'beer and skittles'you must experience as many emotions as you can the more the better you well get from life. The greater your emotional relationships will be.

The more sex you have the more you learn about what pleasure you want from a partner, with each relationship you explore more and ID who you are and what you want?

I am not advocating that bed every guy you meet but you first need to discover who you are, that is what is exciting not being stuck in a relationship that is stagnant?

Two years! my wife had just left after 30 years, don't winge onto me about commitment and time wasted - get on with your life - today - now.

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A female reader, Just Diana South Africa +, writes (24 April 2010):

Just Diana agony auntIts seems to are trying to avoid the pain of the break up. also there is much about this guy you do fancy, and things you dont like, so perhaps yo are caught between knowing he is not the right guy , however also not wanting to loose the good qualities.

No yo wont feel the same way with another person.....you could feel a whole lot better though....or worse......however when you do meet the right guy I douby you would be feeling this way or even asking these questions.

Also worrying to me is that yo are dreaming these things...your subconscious really sending you very clear answers.

You know what to do, dont you? Do it. It is the right thing to do!

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