A
female
age
30-35,
*ABFIL04
writes:This might be a long story...Well my boyfriend and i have been going out for almost 3 years and everything has gone great, theres only one problem... he works out all the time and is super skinny while i'm overweight... our sex life is always so hard because we can't apresiate a lot of it because i'm so over weight it says it doesn't bother him and that he loves me anyhow, i believe thats true but i want to lose the weight so i can pleasure him more...am i being selfish?? am i overreacting??please help
View related questions:
overweight, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, msjuicy  +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I don't think ur selfish or overreacting sweetheart just ask him to be truthfully with you how he did really feel about ur weight etc........or you can go to the gym or be in a diet and he sounds like a good guy
i wish you good luck honey
A
female
reader, DABFIL04 +, writes (18 April 2010):
DABFIL04 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks everyone,andi've had a weight problem since before i even met him, but he says he doesn't want meto be super skinny because he doesn't want to date a bonerack,i do believe that he doesn't care about my weight at all, but i think me loosing the weight would help things a lot, i talked to him about everything last night and he said that if i honestally feel that way then him and i will go for joggs once in a while, so we can spend time with eachother while doing something that we both would enjoy, he also said he doesn't care about the weight he just wants me to be happy and tat he loves me eaither way:Dthanks to all for the help i honestally believe that things are going to be alright!
...............................
A
female
reader, Just Diana  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Come on!! go an exercise!he has told yo he loves yo and does not mind, so really the issue is you. If you think you are overweight, do something about it! Get healthy. You both will reap the benefits.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearjohn83  +, writes (18 April 2010):
do some exercise lose the weight and you'll feel amazing. exercise will improve your confidence issues, don't do it for your boyfriend do it cos YOU want to.
try weight watchers and going to the gym or classes. it's fun and you'll feel so much better about yourself.
Has the weight come on since you have been going out? it is natural to put on weight in a relationship but it is also a sign of overdependence on the relationship.
Remember a relationship is two different people going out, it does not have to become one entity. and that applies to dieting and exercising too.
...............................
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 April 2010):
I think it's more likely that your confidence is getting in the way. Your boyfriend still loves you.
...............................
A
male
reader, Problem.helper +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Look he loves you the way you are but he would probaly love if you went to gym . And if you do it, do it for yourself so you can feel good about yourself.
...............................
A
female
reader, rambini +, writes (18 April 2010):
 being overweight is never a good thing, and whether its the actual weight or just your insecurities, something is getting in the way. you should lose the weight for your own self esteem, for your health and having a better sex life will be an added bonus! also if you want children further down the line, being overweight can mean you find it very difficult/impossible to conceive, which might put irreconcilable pressure on the relationship.
...............................
A
female
reader, guiltywife +, writes (18 April 2010):
it seems more to me that your self esteem is getting in the way of your sex life, not the fact that you are overweight.
...............................
A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (18 April 2010):
 So if you're worried about it, why don't you ask him to help? He's working out, join him at the gym and have him create a work-out plan for you. Sounds like you're more worried about it than he is.
...............................
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Thats not being selfish ,it is being thoughtful and considerate.
It is good that you felt that way.
...............................
A
female
reader, heather108 +, writes (18 April 2010):
 Your bf is at least being polite, perhaps out of habit.
There is one thing for sure and certain: If you don't care about your appearance, it will not be very long before he doesn't care about you.
Sorry, but that's the way it is in the real world.
There's an old Chinese proverb: "If you don't put it in your mouth, it will not hang on your ass."
That's kind of a rough translation but I'm pretty sure it is in reference to food.
...............................
|
