A
female
age
26-29,
*ellyy
writes:Okay so i'm 14, and i just lost my virginity yesterday, and the guy I lost it to doesn't even care, it was just sex to him. I did anything he wanted. I just wanted to make him happy. So today I find out that he goes back out with his ex. I think we're friends with benefits, but is that right to do? Also he lied to me and said the condom broke, when he left i checked it with my best friend and it really didn't. We continued without the condom and i'm really scared that i could get pregnant. If my parents knew they would kill me, they don't care, they said it their selfs they would literally kill me. My friend is buying me two pregnancy tests. Please tell me what should I do. I'm so confused and scared.
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be pregnant, best friend, condom, friend with benefits, his ex, lost my virginity, might be pregnant, pregnancy test Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Not My Name  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Anon poster - what have I said that is harsh? That she should get rid of this guy and start respecting herself? Yeah, right, how mean of me. Geeeessssh!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): Diana, you sure like to fling around a lot of self-serving gender stereotypes.
The truth is there are lots of mature teenage boys who are not just out to manipulate girls into sex. But not a lot of teenage girls are mature enough to be interested in those types of boys until they are much older.
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A
female
reader, Nellyy +, writes (18 April 2010):
Nellyy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you all so much, and everything you said is everything my friends told me. I just get hard headed with everything. I'm still in shock and this situation hasn't sunk in yet. Thank god I have good friends who are willing to do stuff for me and help me. DABFIL04 I would really like to ask you more questions.
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A
female
reader, GettingHelp  +, writes (18 April 2010):
1) GET THE MORNING AFTER PILL ASAP!!! (3 - 5 days is the limit I think) And take it.
2) You are 14 - if you look at this realistically
- even if you two make it work, chances are it won't last until marriage
- this guy is a jerk with no concern for you, your body or your future, he is also a liar, a player and he used you
- you made him happy, but did he make you happy? Before you say yes - he treated you like dirt... did that make you happy?
that said... you can happily get rid of him and move on from a jerk who doesn't deserve someone who gives as much as you did. Give your all to someone who will give you their all with none of the nonsense this jerk has put you through.
3) take the tests, if they're positive you are going to need to come clean to your parents. Take your friend or someone else you can confide in & trust (just be sure to tell this person beforehand) with you when you tell your parents (I am however crossing thumbs that you don't have anything to tell them :) )
4) Chances are your parents love you and will be there for you but if they aren't there are probably many other people around you who love you and support you, but if there aren't there are quite a lot of free counseling places or organizations that specialize in unwanted pregnancies, pregnant teens who don't have their parents support and just generally pregnant teens.
5) stay strong and stay away from jerks - you deserve sooo much better.
6) if you intend on having sex with anyone, get on the pill. It can't protect you from STDs/STIs and HIV but it will protect you from unwanted pregnancy. The best thing to do it to use a condom *as well* as the pill.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): The previous poster has been a liitle harsh. Yes you were stupid but you fell for the age old trick of some complete moron flattering you and thinking you had to do this.
What's done is done and you need to move on. And we won't dwell on the legality of this you being 14 and all (was he older?).
Firstly it sounds like you have a great friend who will help you through this. Get yourself tested and keep your fingers crossed. Don't worry unnecessarily now - cross that bridge IF you come to it.
Secondly, if this moron sleeps around you might also want to get tested for chlamydia. But again you can wait a little while until you do that.
Thirdly, you want to get this moron out of your head and put this behind you (unless the points above don't come out as planned). He obviously didn't give a damn about you; why will he change.
Try and take something positive from this. Make sure your next boyfriend loves and cares for you and isn't just after your vagina. Use protection. Be an advisor-by-experience to your friends after this blip is over.
:-)
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A
female
reader, Not My Name +, writes (18 April 2010):
Why would you want to be FWB with a guy who used you for sex, went back to his ex, and lied about the condom with no regard for getting you pregnant?
Sure it made him happy, .. but how happy are you now that you are second best and possibly potted?
Get rid of him, get your tests done in a couple of weeks, and get on birth control if you have been lucky enough to get away with it this time.
Oh, and get some self respect so you consider yourself more instead of doing anything a guy wants.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2010): Try very hard not to worry! Get the morning after pill! This guy is totally disgusting, stay away from him. How dare he lie to you?! I once had a friend with benefits, it's fine but it left me feeling cheap and dirty. I also got too emotionally attatched to him, and he ended up breaking my heart. Just be very careful.Stay away from this guy though, he sounds like a complete tool. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, DABFIL04  +, writes (18 April 2010):
well i think first of all you should forget about the guy, because friends with benifits isn't doing anything for you his heart is with his ex, while his sex life is yours, how is that fair to you... but take the pregnancy tests and if you are then make a plan of what you are going to do before you tell your parrents, they will respect you for making that plan, also tell them how sorry you are and it was a mistake to let it go that far... tears also help... but don't be too scared because when you are streesed out it can throw of your cycle and that would cause you to think that you are pregnant.sit down with your parrents anyhow tell them that you have lost your virginity, i was in the samesituation and now my parrents respect my decitions of my sex life, it's better to have it in the open then to hide it it will stress you out more and moregood luck and message me for any more questions i could help you alot with what to say to them, like i said i was in the same situation although i was pregnant...
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A
female
reader, Just Diana +, writes (18 April 2010):
 There is absolutely no such thing as friends with benefits! So perish the illusion. Go to a clinic and get a test. If you are abel chat to your folks so that they can support you through this. If you are not able, confide in a friend who can support you through this. Dump the boy. You are also too young to be having sex. Rather masterbate! Boys at this age are also just in it for sex. Girls mature a bot faster at this age and so sex means something different. However, I cant tell you to have sex or not....you are going to do what you going to do. You may find as you mature more that you will sart feeling less that abut yourself...and this will happen more and more everytime you give yourself over to sex. Wait until you are older....
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