A
female
age
30-35,
*doresdior
writes:So im really annoyed at the fact that my bf rarely wants to have sex. Weve been together for 10 months and for like the first 6 months we were having sex multiple times a day and now its like maybe once a week. We dont really cuddle that much either or anything affectionate anymore. I usually like to cuddle if i wanna have sex and i swear everytime i try and cuddle with him hes on his phone playing a game or just on it. For like the entire time and wont even cuddle with me back. We live together and are with each other 24/7 so idk maybe if hes just sick of me or idk. Im not really forward about sex or anything, i drop really subtle hints, so im thinking maybe hes just too dumb to pick up on them . If thats why i dont understand why he wouldnt ever want and try to have sex . I dont get it. And i dont like talking about this kinda stuff with him. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (24 June 2012):
 I know where you're coming from as I lived with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We no longer live together but we are still very much together, we just feel it's better to be apart since we are not married yet.If you're both working or are stressed in the uni together, chances are, he sometimes is not in the mood for sex. That is actually still a normal sex life I think. I observe people tend to slow down on sex when it's always available to them. He knows you're always there anyway so he feels he can ask you for sex tomorrow. If not tomorrow, the next day.Ofcourse, he does know you are hinting on sex, I am quite sure of that but men also don't think of sex all the time. I think he is pretending he doesn't get your hints better than to say no to you which might offend you. It's not like they are sex machines ready to function just when you push the button. I have a lot of girl talks with my friends who are married and we observed the same thing. Our men are not "always in the mood" for sex as we think they are. Ironically, it's the women who complain to not having enough sex LOL.I would suggest that do not try to revenge on your bf by playing cold because he deprives you of sex. If he doesn't seem like he is in the mood, just hug him maybe while he is tinkering his phone. Give him some kisses out of the blue. Your bf will get to his senses and will reciprocate your gestures. I do that all the time and the next day, my bf will initiate the hugging and all. Sometimes it leads to sex, sometimes later, sometimes no sex. The important thing is to keep him affectionate to you. In that way you will still feel wanted by him and the lack of sex does not mean he loves you less.
A
female
reader, ImmortalPrincess +, writes (24 June 2012):
 Even though you don't like talking about these things with him, you're going to have to. Communication is the single most important thing in a relationship, especially in matters of sex. Have a talk with him, and don't drops hints or beat around the bush. Directly ask him about your sex life, and tell him ow it's making you feel. If it IS because he's lost interest in you, and there is nothing "reasonable" that you can do to bring it back, then there is no need to continue on with the relationship.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (24 June 2012):
 Obviously he isn't a mind-reader and obviously subtle hints don't work, why not try a more direct approach?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 June 2012): I'm sorry to say this, but is seems clear to me that this guy has lost interest in you. It's not that he is missing your hints, he doesn't need hints, if he wanted to have sex with you, he would initiate it himself.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (24 June 2012):
 First off, I'm a much older man, but in my life, I've experienced times when sex was overshadowed by other things going on, such as work issues. Usually, however, in my personal experiences, sex has always been frequent with girlfriends and wives. Sometimes, I'll admit that they initiated it.
Quite often, most always, a woman could get me up and ready for sex by fondling me and/or giving some head - a blow job - it always works for me. Even while watching TV, or jumping into the shower or whatever, some attention to the private area gets me going. Being a bit "forward about it" may help.
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