A
male
age
36-40,
*illstoe
writes:I have been looking love and I could not find it and people have told me to stop looking. And they say If I keep on looking for it I will never find it. So three years ago at the age of 24 I stopped looking and got on with enjoying my life and today at age 27 it has still not happened and people say just enjoy my life and say if it meant to happen, it will.Love has still not found me at all and If i end up being single all my life, I will be so angry because life without relationship for me is so unfair. I will be so angry if I end up being single for the whole of my life. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (25 May 2012):
 I somehow believe that advice because it happened to me twice. But looking at it, I think the reason why this advice becomes true is because when you are looking for love, it makes you look desperate to the people or the person you are pursuing. You are desperate to have this "love" and so it shows on you and in how you handle being around people. Desperation is a turn-off to most people.But when "you let it find you", you just become your normal self and the opportunity to have someone or not have no impact on you and you just enjoy yourself. With or without a love interest, you can survive...this is a total turn on to most people and they will crave your attention.But it doesn't mean also that you should just isolate yourself or stay at home or surround yourself with people who are no longer available. Get out and have fun. Socialize with people and do the things that you like. Also do take care of yourself, wear nice clothes etc. Before you know it, you are already seeing someone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2012): When people say stop looking for love, it is correct, but that also does not mean you must give up.Instead of actively pursuing it, during your single time it's when you work on YOU. You make sure your whole life is in balance. That you are working and have a career path ahead of you. That you have family and friends you make time for. That you look after your health with correct nutrition and exercise. That you look after your finances. That you discover and pursue your hobbies and passions in life. Research articles on anything you feel might be lacking in yourself, or that you would love personal growth on. As you do those things, and grow as an individual, and when you feel fulfilled and happy with yourself and your life, then when you least expect it, someone will be on the horizon. It also does not mean stop dating. You can go out with girls, you can do the online dating thing, speed dating, all those things. To get experience with girls in terms of how they behave, what they are looking for in life, sharing moments with them, becoming more confident and enjoying your life, day by day. Once again, one day it will happen.However, if the ONLY thing you focus on is love, love, love and being in a relationship and settling down, THAT is when it evades you.So ENJOY LIFE, do EVERYTHING you always wanted to do, make short, medium and long terms goals, and pursue them. Then it will happen as a bonus, something to share with someone, not something you MUST have to be happy. You need to be happy as an individual to then share that happiness. Your happiness cannot be dependent on your having someone. I wish you fulfillment, joy and then when you least expect it, that which you desire most: love. True love, which comes to those that wait and don't settle for second best.Good LuckLucky in love female who while enjoying life and doing all the above, love found her :) So I speak from experience.
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A
male
reader, JustHelpinAgain +, writes (25 May 2012):
Sounds like you are proof that the saying is true!! Finding love is not like it is portayed in the movies. Join clubs and activities where you can meet people but don't try to hound out the first pretty girl you meet. Hundreds of guys before you will have done that and it will be a real turn off.
Just get to know people and find out what you have in common. work on your self esteem if it helps - get some new clothes, take up sports, etc.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (25 May 2012):
 Hi
So do you ask girls out, ever? Do you have a happy go lucky personality? Do you like yourself? Do you spend 24/7 thinking you will never find love?
Its summer at last so girls are looking fresh and good, start as friends, get to know lots of girls, be easy going, dont expect love..Love grows as you get to know somebody. Yes enjoy your life, you may not marry till your 35 or 40, but at least you will know its real and well worth the wait.
Do not go round with a long face thinking life is over if your not in love now.. It will just put women off before you start!
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (25 May 2012):
 It doesnt sound like you are enjoying life if your putting conditions on yourself such as finding love; your being hard on yourself.
Those people who tell you stop looking for love, have in a sense a valid point.
When your looking for love it kinds of repels people because they can sense the desperacy, but if your not bothered and not looking, love is likely to find you quicker because your not so restricted and desparate for it.
Love is worth waiting for;
and true love starts with yourself first
only when you like your company and love it, can someone else love you as you are and develop a deeper bond with them.
Dont be in a hurry, dont be angry, just enjoy your life, if your searching or anticipating love, it acts a a detterent from love.
Its not the end of the world, you wont be single forever unless you choose that and act as a self fulfilling prophecy for yourself.
Goodluck!
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