A
male
age
30-35,
*lysses
writes:I just flunked out of college and now it means I am going to finish a full 4 years after the people i finished high school with. I am afraid that I will never amount to anything or make a success of myself and will always be on the fringes of existence and never be a respectable person. I don't know what to do right now and I feel lost and alone. Will I ever be able to gain respectability and become a productive member of society despite graduating late and if so how? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2012): Some of the most successful people never finished college: read about Richard Branson. The guy barely made it out of high school but is now a billionaire. On key trait of successful people is their positivity. For others, college takes alittle longer. At 35 no one knows whether you finished college at 21 or 29 or 34 - you just work and do what you do. Time to fix your situation (whatever it is that prevented you from doing well at school) and get back on the horse.
A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 What you're feeling right now is normal. But the good thing is a lot of people go through the same thing, you just don't realize it.
I went through the same situation many years ago and who could tell what I will become today? I am not saying I am super successful but what I am mean is..I was able to get out out that situation. If I had only seen the future before, I wish I had not wasted my time being depressed. But anyway, if not for that frustration, I could not be where I am as it was my strength and my motivation.
To start off, I was in college for almost a decade! I was forced to drop out because I was taking architecture and it was very expensive. I come from a very poor family and my mom was jobless. My father died when I was in high school. Then I took engineering a year later and had to work at the university to help pay my tuition fees. Since I was working, I flunked in most of my engineering courses as it needs focus. I had to retake my physics, maths, electronics etc over and over until I passed them. I flunked here and there. I go to class starving and had to walk to school everyday. Everyone my age were graduating and getting good jobs, I was still a student whose debt in the uni is getting higher every semester. To be honest, even my relatives think I am hopeless but offer no help, they think I am unrealistically ambitious.
In my seventh year in the university, I finally quit engineering, I was still in 3rd year lever struggling to work and study at the same time. I decided to shift to another major where I could graduate easily, I didn't care anymore about being an engineer, I just wanted to get a degree, period! So I still worked but I excelled in my class, after a year, I applied for an academic scholarship and was granted. So from then on I began paying my school debts slowly until I finally graduated. That was 10 years!
Three months after I graduated, I got a job overseas and shortly after, I was hired at a university because of my university work experience. I got promoted after a year and now I am the head of my department. Been in this position for 4 years now.
When I go home to my home country, I am more successful than my former classmates who graduated way earlier than me. My relatives who laughed at me and said I was hopeless are now coming to me for financial aid.
So you see, looking back, when I was embarrassed and ashamed before of all the courses I flunked, who cares now that I flunked those courses? No one even remembers that it took me 10 years to graduate. Lucky me, no one could even guess my right age, everyone thinks I am 7 years younger.
You flunked your college? Keep on trying to finish it. because once you're done, all your sacrifices will be paid off. The expenses I paid in college, I earned it back within 4 months of work.
Never let these put you down, never give up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2012): I understand what you are going through as I myself am 22 and still trying to get that degree. When I started college I was 17, straight out of high school and had no idea what was going on. The mistake I think a lot of college students make is that they go unprepared for college study and that can be attributed to trying to keep up with class mates from high school or just partying. The mistake I made was that I wasn't prepared and barely made it our my first semester with average grades. What a lot of students prepping for college should do is to take a break from school and really see what they want to do with their careers and life. After my first semester I got burnt out, frustrated, and it made me take a year off from school to figure things out. I was so worried about what people would think of me especially my high school class mates but I realized a lot of them were working at different paces and saw that some where doing what I was, figuring what they wanted from life. Yes some people are better adapted and can transition from high school to college without breaking a sweat but that doesn't mean those who aren't like them can't make it. Just take a step back and see what you really want to do with your life because there are people who get a degree for one job and end up back in college because they hate that field of work or they couldn't find a job. There is really no straight path people should take after high school because we are all different and life happens. A lot of people will move to different places, some will start families, join the military, and some even become successful without opening a college textbook. You are stressing yourself out because you think there is a social timetable for getting a degree and if you don't meet that deadline, it's over, people will think you earning a degree after everyone else will be unworthy. That thinking should be discarded and you should start assessing what you really want from life and then you will be able to become successful in the academic world.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (29 November 2012):
 It took me 23 years of on and off work to get my college degree... i have many friends and I'm a productive member of society...
don't give up... just keep plugging along and it will happen.
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