A
male
age
51-59,
*evin32
writes:You can be walking down the street (or in a store), and men would approach and ask for your name and number. Or you're at the club and they offer to buy you a drink. Pretty much wherever you are, men shower you with attention, even if you just met. And after years of experiences like these, you've come to realize that you're attractive to men, and you know it. I have 3 questions about this:1. Can you describe what's it like to be attractive to men? 2. How do you now expect the average man to behave when he notices you for the first time?3. What do you think of men in general as it relates to them being attracted to you? Thanks. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): Continuing from the last post (the 22-year-old)
I always have my guard up. Like one reader stated, it's flattering up to a point but I'm always paranoid around older men. I tend to look away when I see them walking toward me.
It's an advantage and disadvantage in the workplace. Twice, a different customer (middle aged man) at my work handed me their business card and wanted me to come work for them. It was a better job so I applied and stated them as the referral. I was hired immediately. This happened twice! (FYI Everything was professional).
However oftentimes I'm afraid of being judged/disliked by my looks. Quite a few jealous girls have tried to destroy my relationships with others. Some were friends, two were boyfriends. Two female coworkers teamed up and trashed on me to my manager. I was completely oblivious and shocked because I'd done nothing wrong. Fortunately I stood up for myself and my manager set things straight. Sure it could be other reasons but there's really nothing else that strongly sets me apart from others!
One very good thing is that my looks have somewhat "filtered" out true friends from everyone else. The ones that don't judge me for my looks or act differently becaues of it. Looks are just looks but it's a blessing to know who my true friends are, whether they are my best friends, old friends, or distant but genuine pals.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): It's flattering when an attractive person finds you attractive, and it's annoying when an unfavorable person finds you attractive.
Guys behavior towards me ranges from cool/friendly to awkward/creepy. However they act, I can tell they are trying to hook me. I have also had guy friends / boyfriends who act weird with only me. Two guys I lliked couldn't commit and everyone told me it was because they thought I was too good for them. They weren't confident enough.
It's a big advantage and disadvantage. The big advantage is that I've always been able to get ANY guy I wanted without having to do much work. The disadvantage is the fear (or sometimes truth) being liked/loved too much for my appearance. Sure within time they'll love me for my personality too. But it's not something they pay attention to much during the beginning of the relationship. I've never been dumped, even if I acted annoying or our relationship obviously wasn't working. Only one relationship faded suddenly after I said I wasn't ready for sex.
I'm 22 and those are my experiences.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2012): well firstly i'm a fit and guess you could say attractive lady but i get embarresed occasionally when men so much younger than me hit on me i'm going to be 69 in a couple of months and sometimes i have young fellows much younger than my grandsons trying to chat me up, in supermarkets on the bus or train in a club or just sometimes walking down the street.it sometimes makes me not want to go out to much on my own.but i do like men to always be polite,when i first meet them,manners are a big thing for me,and at my age it's kinda flattering sometimes to know men no matter what age still find me attractive.
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A
female
reader, Aemita  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 Well i try to keep it short and also as true and brutally honest as possible. Taking all of your questions one by one: 1.This is hard, but i'll do my best to give you a relative close description as to how it feels for me personally (obviously i cannot talk for all the other attractive women in this world). But for me it is something similar to this: for me, being attractive to men, physically speaking,means to always have my guard up and to always expect comments being thrown at me. It's nice to know men appreciate my looks, and up to a certain point, it makes me gain more confidence.. but more often than not, it makes me paranoid. Because i know all men are just looking at my physically beauty, they are just scratching the surface, without getting to know me. It's frustrating to say the least, because i always know, they look at me and they automatically put me in a box, labelling me.. making me be something that i am NOT! Men always assume, i have no brains! So how is it like? Well, flattering for like 5 seconds, and then it goes downhill! 2.I would expect the average man to simply be himself. I have no expectations, other than he sees in me more than just a pretty face or a nice body. I hate men who try to catch my attention by offering me free drinks, or giving me expensive gifts (it happened twice and each time i declined their gifts). I would dearly like to see once in my life, that a guy comes up to me, not because of my looks, but because of a comment i have made. My brains actually, my personality, attitude and character. One can hope, i suppose. Oh and more thing.. 'average guys' always think we (attractive women) are untouchable.. NOT TRUE! I for once,am rather shy, so that might give out a cold/arrogant vibe.. but it couldn't be further from the truth!3.Well, don't get me started! In general i think, men are kind of selfish. The moment the girl looks good, they tend to overlook all of her flaws.. basically they are blinded by her looks. And that in return, makes me stereotype them as well. And while i know (i truthfully know) that not all men behave like that, let's not kid ourselves, the vast majority are exactly like that. That in return makes me more irritated, therefore more unapproachable. Most times, i like to keep my distance, to keep my manners up (even when i want to smack them) and to be pleasant as a PERSON and not as a BODY/FACE! Other than that, men are men and women are women.. that's it. Being attractive, is not all that glamorous as people like to think anyway. You can take my word for it! And there you have it. Hopefully i have answered your questions... Take care dear!
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A
female
reader, agneeman  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 irritating. I used to have people approach me like "oh, you're so pretty, whats you're name?" I used to be hurt that they didnt ask for the name first.
My problem is, I very seldom feel I have this effect on people who know me, just strangers...
Anyway, I prefer to feel like I would be loved on my "unpretty" days. Ideally, I like to be treated the same no matter how I look.
I find it hurtful when the males in my life are friendlier to me when I look nicer because I am the same person everyday.
I was really confused about this as a teen because I was not a very good judge then of how sexy or neutral or unsexy I might look on a particular day, but I had a boyfriend who treated me vastly different because of how he fancied I looked that day.
Once he was so mean just because he didnt like my sandals and boy shorts and I was hurt first, but honestly I lost respect for him .... Then for men in general....
I find guys who don't have sisters are worse about this than guys who do, I feel less comfortable dressing sexy than I ever did and I am not sure why... what I do know is, I have had to learn that thats how males are, and it doesnt make them shallow...
However hot this girl you are chasing is, what she really wants to know is if you'll still look at her with those puppy dog eyes if she ditched the mini skirt for a pair of baggies and an old t-shirt.
Throw in morning breath and uncombed hair, and if you STILL feel the same way she will WANT to look nice for you because a woman truly likes being checked out by the man she cares about. my husband has my heart, and if I feel I can't turn his head my heart breaks, and it doesn't matter how many men (better looking than him, even) pay attention to me that day, because its just irritating that its not my husband....
I dont know if that helps????
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A
female
reader, feralfox +, writes (29 May 2012):
1. Can you describe what's it like to be attractive to men?
Even though logically I know I am a beautiful woman, I don't necessarily think I feel different than most other women who are more or less attractive. Sometimes being winked at or complimented by a man I don't know is reassuring. It makes me feel more confident. And sometimes.... I will be extremely rude to them because I think they are being disgusting, or objectifying me. Sometimes I feel like men initially only like me because I am beautiful... I am very insecure inside. I don't think I'm funny or interesting enough to attract a guy with my personality.... at least I don't think those are the reasons guys like me at first. Sometimes that makes me feel like a shel; to guys, if that makes any sense. Like some beautiful accessary they would like to acquire while they are window shopping. It is actually a rather empty feeling sometimes. Once when I was drunk a man I didn't know told me I was beautiful and I told him he was full of shit and to shut the hell up. It annoys me, when a man comments on my looks as if it says anything about who I am. But back to your question: It can make me feel good if it's said in a nice or sincere way. When I feel objectified by a man though, he honestly disgusts me and I want nothing to do with him. Extreme I know, but some men are very shallow and misogynistic, and I stay clear.
2. How do you now expect the average man to behave when he notices you for the first time? Well, I don't know. I have noticed that when people are attracted to someone, they sort of "Open" their face up for a split second upon noticing. Their eyebrows raise slightly, the nostrils flare just a tiny bit maybe, eyes widen. A lot of older men smile at me, but they are more confident than the boys my age, who do weird things like throw bits of paper at me or pull my hair or subtly make fun of me in a way that isn't mean. It sort of depends on the man.
3. What do you think of men in general as it relates to them being attracted to you? I feel like I can easily tell if they are being sincere or if they are being shallow, and that is what effects my feelings on the manner. I write off guys who I think see me for only my outside COMPLETELY. Luckily I have a good radar for guys like that. My boyfriend and I were extremely attracted to each other almost immediately upon just seeing one another..... it sounds like it's based on looks, but honestly he looked so sincere and his smile was so hesitant. He wanted to know all about who I was, he didn't focus on my attire or the way I presented myself. It made me feel truly beautiful for the first time when it came from him, and he only told me he thought I was beautiful after we had gotten to know each other.
Not sure why you are asking these questions, but hopefully this might help you understand what it is like to be an attractive woman. It's not like they are all femme fatales, confident, and powerful. They are normal people who get harassed by creeps and strangers a little more often than others, and more often get judged by their looks than who they are.
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (29 May 2012):
 1. What's it like? It feels nice most of the time, and it makes me feel special. But there are times you want to just hide and not be seen coz sometimes, it is annoying that wherever you go, people just stare at you like they are going to eat you or undress you. Some men don't have the right manners or enough sensitivity to stop looking at you.
2. How i expect them to behave? The moment I notice them second glancing, I would expect 2 things: either they just stand there to look or watch what I do or start doing things that would catch my attention and then strike a conversation with me. Eventually, they will ask for my number if i stay there longer.
3. Men in general in terms of their attraction? I am fully aware that men are visually oriented, so it's their nature to do what they do. One will just get used to it actually. Besides not everyday will you encounter really rude men who can't manage themselves properly. But generally, it's fun to be attractive coz you get more care or attention.
Also, it's not a very big deal to be attractive anyway, you still get a heartbreak. You have ex or exes. Attractiveness is only an opportunity to maybe even get who you want but relationships are to be worked on. At the end of the day, you are just an ordinary person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): 1. Can you describe what's it like to be attractive to men?
I suppose I would say, it feels good. I am somewhat humbled as I am not a person to flaunt or make myself stand out or needs to seek out the attention from men... never have and likely never will be that way.
2. How do you now expect the average man to behave when he notices you for the first time?
I expect a man to behave with class, manners and maturity.
3. What do you think of men in general as it relates to them being attracted to you?
Currently, absolutely nothing. I have a man who I am in love with and who is in love with me and it does nothing for me or makes one bit of difference.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): 1. Can you describe what's it like to be attractive to men?good to get free drinks annoying too because sometimes people assume just because you're pretty you're not smart2. How do you now expect the average man to behave when he notices you for the first time?he'll comment on the beauty, but if you wanna win a beautiful woman comment about her brains... her beuty is noticeable to everyone, play it cool she knows she's pretty you don't have to say that all the time...3. What do you think of men in general as it relates to them being attracted to you? Thanksit's flattering but then it gets old...
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012): It's actually a little annoying sometimes. If I'm walking down the street, running late for work, and some guy pulls up next to me and starts hitting on me or some other guy next to me is ogling me, I generally get annoyed because its the last thing I need at that moment. Sometimes it is flattering, especially of I walk into a room full of men, knowing that most glance my way at least once. It makes me insecure sometimes because I feel scrutinized but otherwise I get a kick out of it. I expect men to just appreciate my uniqueness. I don't want to sound full of myself, but I have a lot of good attributes, physical and personality wise, so different people will like different things. Sometimes I get extremely irritated, flustered and aggravated with the surplus attention and generalize men as a result.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 May 2012):
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 May 2012):
Newsflash:
All young women are attractive to men and most older women are, too, within their demographic. Women learn this when they are about 13 years old and use it to their advantage. They think that most of us are pigs, however, because so many men are.
Where are you headed with your question?
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