A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi All, Please help!! I told my ex I loved him a week or so back by text, as I do and I miss him terribly!! Anyway, I felt a bit emabarrsed after I had said it by text, so I sent another one saying ' Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit emotional', then he texted back saying, sorry, he is at work and cannot talk at the moment. ' then I switched my phone off. In the morning, I checked the last number that had called me, and it was his - he had tried to call back shortly afterwards, and I missed the call, so I emailed him the next morning saying' Hi, I missed your call back. Hope to speak soon' x That was over a week ago. Now, does this mean I am the one who is supposed to call HIM back or what? it's all a bit confusing. He has not been on messnenger except once last week since then too, and as I feel a bit embarassed, and do not want to chase him, I am hesitant in callng him back!! Is he expecting me too after what happened? I don;t know what to do, and don;t want to make a fool of myself either. Thanks xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Firstlovelastlove', Do you think he is approching it as ' juts a freindship? I am still so in love with him, and do not want to get hurt, and am stuck as to what to do. I have no idea of what his feelings are, and am torn as to if I should contact him again, as if I see him all my feelings resurface again,and i have to then go away and get over it once more. i can;t be in his life as ' just a freind; as I love him too much. If we see each other for gym stuff, it may hurt me again, and I don;t wnat to scare him off by asking him for the relastionship back. I can't keep doing this dissapearing stuff other for weeks at a time, which is what I have been doing in the hope that he might change his mind, and realise he still has feelings for me. I have told him that I love him a few weeks back. He called back. he now knows exactly how I feel for him, but has not said anymore. I am torn and confused. x
A
male
reader, firstlovelastlove  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 "he did not leave it with any arrangment, or whatever," He was on vacation and relaxing. It'd been a while since you called back. He was probably just seeing how this conversation went.
"am I expecting to much?" To expect a date from this telephone conversation while he was out of the country, I think you are expecting too much.
"what am I to make of this call back etc?" He was very happy to hear from you and happy you're working out at a gym. This 'gym' gives you more in common and if he helps you with your technique with free weights that is great! It has been my experience that free weights are more effective than weight machines.
"what to do?" Keep living your life and going to the gym.
"what to think?" think happy things because things went well. You may have a habit of over-thinking things. I wish you all the very best.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionOk guys . I called im back today. Please help. he was away at his parents pleace, and he seemed really happy to hear from me. He was abroad as they live in Eastern Europe. Anyway, I called him from my work number and he said ' be careful what number are you calling from, as this is an international call!! I am away at my parents!! Anyway, I called him back from my mobile, and he was really happy. he told me he was returning on friday. Anyway, to cut a long story short - he is a big gym goer, and I recently started going to the gym 3 times a week., and he said ' oh. I'm really pleased you are now going to the gym!"! I told you it's good!. I told him I am struggling with the weights etc a bit, and he said' Oh' I'll help you with all that and the correct diet for training and the gym etc,' so I said ok that would be great' anyway, he sounded quite happy, and then we got off the phone after a little chat about work and just as I was getting off he said again ' thank you so much for phoning me' I kiss you much' he did not leave it with any arrangment, or whatever, so am I expecting to much? what am I to make of this call back etc? what to do? what to think ? Thanks ;o)
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Firstlove last Love. I've had a really hard time with this guy, and am reluctant to start it all off again!! No kids involved . ( which is a relief. ..) it;s been very very difficult relationship in which I feel I was taken for granted. He has alot of emotional issues. One being that he does not trust women, and everytime we resume, I seem, to get hurt and do most of the giving. It seems he is ok once he knows he has me back - and relaxes and stops returning calls, and only calls when he feels like it, and makes minimal effort, as he thinks I wil be around for ever. I am afraid that it;'s going to go back to that - so maybe a long break might be good? and might do him good too. I don;t want to get hurt or get taken for granted again. x
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reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (23 February 2011):
You sure do think a lot."Somehow and stupidly, I need to know what;s going on in his life!!" I don't think it's stupid and I don't think you 'need to know' I think you're just curious. How much history do the two of you share? Are there children involved?"it;s kinda hard letting go though.. I still dont; wnat anyone else to have hm. it;s weird. i think I should geive myslef some more time and see where this road leads me.," I think you're not clear on what it is you want at the moment. Where do you want "this road" to lead you? There is a saying 'lead, follow, or get out of the way'. Maybe you should take the lead on this one. I still don't see what the big deal is about you just calling him for a 'quick hello' to make a coffee or lunch date if that's where you want things to go. Maybe call him when you're in the middle of doing something so you both know you can't talk long. I'm thinking at this point in time keeping things light until you can get a handle on what it is you want would be a good idea. I wish you all the best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Firlstlove last love!! I am still curious as to how HE feels though.. he has gone off radar, and has not even been on messenger for over a week!! I guess he is waiting for me to call him back. Somehow and stupidly, I need to know what;s going on in his life!! although at the same time , I realise that I am better off without him in lots of ways. I am starting to think of him less and less, but would love to know how he feels. I had better just stick with this feeling of peace. it;s kinda hard letting go though.. I still dont; wnat anyone else to have hm. it;s weird. i think I should geive myslef some more time and see where this road leads me.,
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reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (22 February 2011):
"I'm actually starting to feel.... different, peaceful" Grab hold of this "peace" with both hands and don't let go. I'm happy for you!
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Firstlovelast love. Thanks re: Tag!! I must tag him back. I STILL haven;t got the nerve up to do it as yet!! :LOL and .. believ it or not, as time is going past, I am wondering if I actually want to be in contact or want this guy back at all!!. It;s amazing what time and no contact can do a? I'm actually starting to feel.... different, peaceful, and think about him less as the days go on. I have had a very hard time with this guy and now, on reflection, am seriously reconsidering. I wil make that call when I am 100%perhaps. :o) :o) xxx
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reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (21 February 2011):
"what's 'tag your it' by the way?"Wow, ok, there's this child's game called "tag".I thought it was a universal game but apparently I'm wrong.Here's how it goes:A little boy goes up to another little boy and touches him on the arm or back, shouts "tag you're it" then runs away.Now the other little boy standing there can chase the boy who just "tagged" him or "tag" a third person.There's also this thing called "phone tag".This is similar to "tag" as a child. Say you call someone and get their answering machine. You have just "tagged" that person by reaching their answering machine. So it's like the child's game "tag" because the person who owns the answering machine is now "it".So "tag your it" means it's the other person's turn.I hope this helps, I hope this makes sense. I wish you all the best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLOL Firstlovelast love. No, In london 'mad' means crazy, over the top, a bit nuts, not mad as in angry as it is in the US. Ok, I will call.!! what's ' tag your it' by the way? !! Please enlighten me!! thanks :o) xxx
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male
reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (21 February 2011):
What does this mean? "Sorry about the mad texts, I was feeling a bit emotional" I've lived all my adult life in the U.S. To me "mad" means angry. If I called someone and didn't speak to them it's "tag, you're it". Then if I got an email from someone "Hi, I missed your call back. Hope to speak soon" I'd think I'd speak to them soon because they would call.
Just call, the two of you have history. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Call him and keep it short and sweet. My ex called after 29 years and our first few conversation were brief. Today we're engaged to be married and chuckle about our "early days". I wish you all the best!
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi Miss Vee. Thanks' :o) but he only treid to call me back after I backtracked on my love message. I have had a hrad time with this guy before, and don;t want him to feel I am a walk over. But yes, you are right - and I do need to find the courage to call him back. I love him so much, but feel that he deos not feel the same . Hence the fear factor. He may have just called back to feed his ego. I will call him soon. ARHHHH!! Yikess! I am scared of getting hurt. x I'll let you know for sure. :o) xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHI Anon, and firstlove last love. I'm really scared to call him. Do you think he is confused now after what's happened? it's been a week and a half, and the longer i leave it, the harder it gets. As I kind of backtracked by saying ' sorry re: mad texts , I was feeling over emotional' he may just speak to meas a freind. If he was that interested, he would have called again right? I am too nervous to try. I hope he won;t think I am messing him around by one minute saying I love him, then dissapearing? If he was interested he would call back? Doesn;t his silence kind of tell me something? x Thanks girls and guys. x
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female
reader, MissVee  +, writes (20 February 2011):
The Internet-age is certainly making cowardice easy! Chicky, listen to me. Are you paying attention? Listening well? OK.
Simple etiquette says that the medium through which you receive a message is the one which you should reply by. Seeing as he called you, it would have been more polite(and not to mention a lot less stressful!) had you simply picked up the phone, called him and said as cheerfully as possible, "Hey, it's me. I see you tried to call me. What's up?"
If your ex (or anyone) left you a voicemail message, it is your responsibility to call him back. If he did not leave a message, it is entirely up to you, but more polite if you do return the call. But one thing is for certain: he did call you, and he knows that you know! So, what are you going to do?
You don't need to feel scared to return this man's phone call (or anyone's call, for that matter). You have known him probably as intimately as it is possible to know a man. It's very likely that you've swapped saliva with this man, but now you can't swap a few words? You can do this. Pick up the phone, dial his number and see what he wanted to say. If you don't, you'll go half-mad imagining every possible scenario.
Let me know how you do, and good luck. Remember, stay calm! =)
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reader, firstlovelastlove +, writes (20 February 2011):
Take a deep breath and call him. I can't speak for your ex but I think most men would agree the fewer words the better. Maybe say something like "It has been crazy busy for me. When can we sit down and talk?" And just wait for his answer. I wish you all the best. Don't forget to breathe.
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female
reader, Anon5160  +, writes (20 February 2011):
Call him.... do not text... just call and see where things go.
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