A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,Let me set the scene, I am a designer who is tall and head over heels for one spesh lady.I have many issues, this being one of them.I have a crush on a girl from uni. Since we graduated, she's been chatting to me loads. She always calls me up asking for me to come out and asks me to go and visit her. But when I do go and see her, she's with her friends.I've asked her out three or four times now and when we do meet, she brings her friends.She sometimes comes over to have dinner with us but then will go out with her friends, again. I haven't confronted her about my feelings yet, but I know I need to. I like her, but I think she is conflicted or I am friend zoned. Part of me is worried she likes the attention.Any of you lads got any advice for me? Much appreciated.
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male
reader, Denizen +, writes (7 November 2015):
 Why don't you just ask her out for a meal? Say, "How about joining me for a meal? Just you and me?" You arrange to pick her up and then take her to the restaurant of your choice.
If, when you collect her, her coterie is there, I think you will know the score.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (7 November 2015):
 I think when a girl invites you out and invite you over and ALWAYS have friends around at the same time, she regards you as a friend. And if she ALWAYS drags friends with her when YOU invite her out, it's pretty obvious that she isn't looking to be alone with you. Which again would point to the fact that I think she knows you REALLY like her, and she doesn't feel the same about you.
Personally, I don't like the term "friend-zoned" because it implies that it's done on purpose - not that it's a simple matter of a GIRL not being romantically attracted to the guy. You don't say that you have "romantic-zoned" her, do you?
I DO think she likes the attention, but I also think she likes you as a person. As a friend (no more).
Now if you are NOT interested in JUST being her friend, I'd taper off the hanging out and the chatting and move on to someone who IS interested in YOU as a romantic option.
Just because YOU have a crush on her, doesn't mean she owes you to feel the same about you. Remember that. Crushes are like that at times. Hence why they are called CRUSHes!
Sorry.
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