A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I need advice , I'm 21 and im getting married in 5 weeks and I feel so incredibly ugly. I have very low confidence to a stage where i can't get out of a car unless there is no one there and I cant seem to get rid of this feeling. I have never felt beautiful or good looking I've always felt like the pig in the room and I dont feel any better now infact im feeling worse. Im 5ft 2 and 5 stone over weight and I'm at a stage where time is running out I've tried so hard to lose m first stone but im struggling with the rest. Food was my comfort when i felt crap i would eat and it would make me happy. Now i feel crap and dont eat the food that makes me feel better. My wedding scares me for one simple fact. I'm afraid of walking into the church unable to look up because I am ashamed of who I am. I've always been aware that i am not fit a model that i am plain and fat but lately i feel that Im ashamed to be a bride . I can't even look in the mirror when i go for a bath because it makes me cry so bad , the only time i really cry is when i wash myself because i am shocked with my appearance. The stretch marks on my stomach my sagging breasts my oversized face and thighs everything makes me wish i was not here . It I feel so disgusting looking.I day dream of how I'm afraid to look at my wedding photos and cry at how ugly and fat im going to be in them. I don't feel i am good enough any more and the same words circle in my head every day that I let myself down, and that my insecuruties will be the death of me. The past two weeks I feel I am deteriorating mentally.I have never felt so insecure with my partner if he drives away for a few hours straight away i feel he is probably with someone else because why the hell would he not when his fiance is so over weight so ugly. He tells me i am beautiful but deep down really deep down in my heart i know he says it to make me feel better because i know what i am. I keep picturing myself in my wedding the people who want me to fail will snigger at me and ill be labelled the fat bride. I am so disapointed with myself and i know now that i will not be the beautiful glowing slim bride i dreamed i would be a year ago because i let myself go. I don't even want to collect my wedding dress now because i know its not going to look correct because i couldn't lose the weight that i needed to. What do i do? I feel sometimes like running away because i hate myself so so much. I feel I've let my fiance down. I feel im going to ashame him infront of his friends now when they meet me. Please help me.
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breasts, confidence, fiance, insecure, stretch marks, wedding Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (3 May 2016):
 Darling, you need to see your GP then get a referal to a psychiatrist that can diagnose you and then speak to a psychologist because it sounds as though you have a mixture of social anxiety and clinical depression. You need to see to this right away or it will only get worse. Remember to tell the professionals every bit of information so that they can figure out just exactly what is the issue that needs attending to. I'm telling you this because some of what you mention used to describe me before loads of therapy and medication. It will help you out loads and in ways that you never thought possible. Keep me updated.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 May 2016):
 Okay look it sounds like you could be suffering from depression so as Denizen says go and see your doctor and maybe contact a therapist. Secondly join slimming world, it is time to stop beating yourself up and start being positive, do something about your weight, find something else to have comfort in and also remember your fiance would not be marrying you if he did not love you. But now you need to take time to love yourself.
You need to put the wedding on hold, or else you will always look back on it with hate. You both need to sit down and talk, postpone for a year and get yourself better. Talk to someone get support and join a group. Start doing exercise daily and then next year you can hold your head up high and say you are beautiful and not over weight, you can say you worked hard and got what you wanted, you can say I have beat depression and being down on yourself and it can be a great start to married life.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (2 May 2016):
 First you need to visit your GP. You are depressed and you need help to get over it. He can also get you a nutritionally balanced diet to help you shed a couple of unwanted stone. People do it all the time so why not you.
The second thing you can do is postpone the wedding. No matter how far along the arrangements are they can be put on hold. You are ill. It would seem easier to explain if you had had a heart attack, but depression is just as real.
Finally listen to your fiancée. He loves YOU. Confide in him and if you want let him accompany you to the doctor. He will be an important part in your healing.
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