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How does a teen get over a celebrity crush?

Tagged as: Age differences, Crushes, Teenage, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (4 May 2016) 12 Answers - (Newest, 6 May 2016)
A female United States age 22-25, *iliana3467 writes:

I have a celebrity crush. I understand that at my age, this is completely normal, but I think that I have crossed the line. I won't explain how (I'll leave that to your imagination) but I know that I've gone too far. I've tried to find obtainable people from my area (being a teenager, my celebrity crush who is a 37 year old man from the other side of the country isn't exactly obtainable), yet nobody seems to interest me. I know that this isn't healthy and need help. Does anybody have advice to help me get over my celebrity crush?

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (6 May 2016):

Dionee' agony auntYou're completely normal and it will eventually fade away with age. When I was a kid I had the worlds biggest crush on Paul Walker after the fast and furious film was released. I felt like a complete psycho because I pictured wedding bells ringing (I'm so embarrassed writing this) but yes I outgrew it and started dating guys closer to my age. It's just a phase that some young girls go through. You'll be ok :)

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A female reader, Dionee' South Africa +, writes (6 May 2016):

Dionee' agony auntYou're completely normal and we it will eventually fade away with age. When I was a kid I had the worlds biggest crush on Paul Walker after the fast and furious film was released. I felt like a complete psycho because I pictured wedding bells ringing (I'm so embarrassed writing this) but yes I outgrew it and started dating guys closer to my age. It's just a phase that some young girls go through. You'll be ok :)

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A female reader, femmenoir Australia +, writes (5 May 2016):

femmenoir agony auntHi,

you are still very young and this is very normal, especially within your age range.

You have a crush, we've all grown up having minor to major crushes toward different celebrities/people.

The important thing to remember is, as you grow, mature, evolve, what appears major right now, will defintely not be with time.

Basically, this part of your life, this phase, will surely pass and there will be new crushes and new love interests.

Do not pay lip service to these feelings, just look at this person as another ordinary human being, no matter what his status.

Just appreciate his likeable qualities and the rest, forget it. It's that simple.

Say, that person is unattainable. It's a fantasy.

You are in control of your thoughts, so place control upon any thoughts that you don't want to think about and that you know are not normal, regardless of your age.

You are smart, because you're aware that your feelings aren't normal, so due to your awareness, you will be on your way to finding a cure for your crush.

Also and most importantly, celebrities, in the cold light of day, are no different to anybody else.

They are normal, ordinary people leading extra-ordinary lives, that's all.

The way they appear on camera, after good makeup and lighting has been used/applied, is not the way they look at 7am every morning, i can assure you.

I used to do modelling when i was in my 20s and i still remember all the wax theatrical makeup that they'd apply to my face, neck and entire body, for photo shoots.

It was horrible and because i dislike makeup, especially heavy makeup, i would scrub my face clean, every time i returned home.

It would take literally, one hour to apply and one hour to remove.

You'll be fine, just be in control of those thoughts and stay away from any situation or place, that places you at risk of any uncontrollable thoughts and/or urges.

Good luck! :-)

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2016):

I can promise you if you really knew this person you probably wouldn't even like them??

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A reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2016):

Usually schoolgirl crushes are also another form of role-model worship.

Celebrities often represent the type of boyfriend you wish you had, the athlete you aspire to be, the type of dad or mom you wish you had, or someone you just wish you could be like. Some positive celebrity-personalities exhibit many of the traits and have the spirit that inspires you; or in a negative way, form false public-images that create cults through clever publicity campaigns. All to sell stuff! Some celebrities just have that kind of appeal and they draw you like a magnet. It's not always limited to your age-group!

So you're a young victim of all this media exploitation of your age-group. Sweetie, don't fault yourself, but crushing to the extreme is exactly what the media wants from kids your age; and they know exactly how to get it. They saturate the TV, radio, magazines, and take advantage of any means they can get to you. So don't blame yourself.

Getting a hobby, reading (good books), playing sports, caring for pets, taking dance classes, music lessons, or sharing after-school activities with your siblings and friends; helps you fill the spaces in your mind otherwise full of daydreams and fantasies. We've all got a hidden talent, so explore yours! It's better to obsess on things that help you to grow and learn; than things that control your mind through tricks, schemes, and brainwashing.

Too much idle-time leaves you nothing to do but think about your crush. You have to tell yourself, "I've had of enough of this!" Over and over. Until you actually will. Every-time you see your crush somewhere, roll your eyes.

Say it out-loud..."oh no, not you again!!!"

Walk away,cover your ears, and close your eyes. Block them out. Just like you do when your parents say and do stuff that get on your nerves. Then everything you hear coming from, or about, your crush sounds like grown-ups on Charlie Brown cartoons. Blah blah blah whomp whomp waaa!!!

Don't worry too much, because as you get older you outgrow it, and crushes grow stale. You'll be fine, my dear!

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (4 May 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntYes, I do have some advice on how to get over a celebrity crush.

Read a really good book instead of watching crap--sorry, “entertainment news” or youtube videos--or absorbing marketing obviously directed at your age range.

And relax and stop working so hard on “finding ‘obtainable’ people”... what’s the rush? You’re 13-15!

What else is going on in your life that you even have to post this question?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (4 May 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI think it's VERY normal. And it can happen at ANY age.. yes, you might not really outgrow it.

What CAN be a warning sign, is when it turns from a crush/infatuation into a obsession and then stalking and total fantasy la-la delusion. A crush is fine, the latter.. no - if that is what's going on, you need help from a therapist.

You know, I'm in my late 40's and I do "crush" on an actor here and there. Nothing serious, I just watch all the movies and interviews with him in it.. usually by then it's "over". I tell you, many actors are not very articulate outside of their scripts.... And for me? that is a total letdown. Or they say something sexist (big no no for me), something just really ignorant (again big no no) or political crap..

OP, actors, musicians, celebrities are human being JUST like you and me. They just have found something they excel at and that puts them squarely in the public eye. They are NOT super human, they are NO "better" than you. And honestly, they are not more unique than you or special. They just have more exposure to the world and media.

So while you can look at a celebrity and go HUBBA HUBBA!! be aware that they are most likely not as "perfect" as the media and your imagination make them out to be.

I can say that my first crush was Harrison Ford when I was 7? (Han Solo anyone?! - he still is delicious) But in reality what I REALLY like about him is his ability to act and "BE" his characters. I don't buy gossip magazines to see what kind of real life shenanigans he is up to, as I don't think it's any of my business.

I have met a few famous people over the years, and I tell you... reality can NEVER match your imagination.

So KEEP it real, but don't think having a crush like that is abnormal. (as long as you don't stalk, obsess etc.)

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A female reader, Liliana3467 United States +, writes (4 May 2016):

Liliana3467 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank you!

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A female reader, CindyCares Italy +, writes (4 May 2016):

CindyCares agony aunt How did you go too far ? Did you hide naked in their hotel room's cupboard ? ... Yeah, that's going too far. Don't do that:).

All the rest is normal. It means that you are young and healthy and you have imagination, and zest for life .

Just enjoy it, go with the flow and let it ride out by itself.

( When it does . I must confess than when I heard about David Bowie's death I was very sad not only because the world has lost such an outstanding artist , but also because I realized that now I won't ever be able to have my red-hot night with the White Duke ! )

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (4 May 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntOh it's healthy and Normal.

Time alone will heal this.

My celebrity crushes numbered many at 13-15. I survived.

some days I didn't think I would.... my heart was breaking because Bobby, David or Donny didn't know who I was and didn't want me.

I rubbed the lips off their posters kissing them goodnight ever night.

It feels like it's the worst thing in the world. And for you it is now. IN the end, you will look back on it and forgive yourself for being a normal teen.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (4 May 2016):

You're 100% normal!!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (4 May 2016):

Denizen agony auntI wouldn't worry too much about it. It sounds quite normal for someone your age. I can't imagine what you may have done that can weigh so heavily on you. As you learn more about the celeb' you begin to see their imperfections. They are just like the rest of us, but we choose to idolise them. It's a flaw in human nature.

At some point I realised I was probably never going to get to sleep with Kylie - not that it occupied too much of my time, but she was cute - actually still pretty attractive, now I think about it. :-)

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