A
male
age
26-29,
*rBigShot110
writes:I have problems with women and I'm taking time away from dating (or trying to date) until I've found myself, developed confidence, and have a proper view of women in general. I've struggled pretty badly for the past 7 years or so. My previous questions can shed some light.Moderate porn use, Hollywood, and lack of knowledge/experience have taken their toll and warped how I view women. I guess at age 12 I started behaving differently (puberty I'm guessing?) and have seemingly lost every female friend I had as a child. I currently haven't been able to set up a date in three years. I keep getting rejected. I've weirded out the HR girl at my job and things get more awkward between us as time passes. The last time I introduced myself to a woman she looked at me like I was trying to rape her. The awkwardness and cluelessness are causing a lot of painful things to happen. I hadn't even said much of anything to these people. That's one of the things that make this so hard to deal with. I can't find anything tangible that I'm doing wrong to try to learn from. I'm beginning to notice that whatever I'm doing is scaring women. I can sense my bad body language and jumpiness. I don't see any way to fix this but to take a step back to get to know who I am, as well as grow in my faith and focus on my priorities. WThe more I think about this the worse it gets. They say if you keep trying despite the rejection you'll develop thicker skin. Well I've tried and for the most part each encounter is a bit more awkward than the last and those experiences are only creating more fear. That's all I have. What are your thoughts on my decision to "leave the game" for a while? (Also quitting porn). I think it'll all do me a lot of good.
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (26 April 2016):
Correct...Losing porn will help you... a lot.
You say you have high standards...Funny...when I was looking for a girlfriend, my standard was...If she treats her father with respect and love, she will do the same to me.
I never went to a woman expecting something to happen or even hoping. If it did...bonus.
You need to realize that women are human. They do not have super powers...wait...let me rephrase that...Yes they do have super powers, and yes you want them to use it on you. :)))
Stop thinking of what you are doing wrong and just have fun with people. Smile at complete strangers, acknowledge someone with a good morning, a head nod, a smile, a wave. It does not always have to be the do or die situations.
When people see you as Mr. Happy go lucky, they will start treating you as such. You get back what you give to others.
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (25 April 2016):
 Is it possible you have a form of social anxiety that prevents you from interacting with people in a “normal” or “typical” way? I found a useful online tool to determine if you might be experiencing social anxiety: http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/disorder/liebowitz/ I took it to see how it worked. It’s very easy and there is no need to register or create an account on the site to try the test.
I’d suggest you look for a mentor or life coach to help you take a look at how you are approaching women. A female friend would be great but you said you didn’t have any. I think I’d look for a life coach to assess and guide you on your approach, appearance, body language, etc. Someone who is objective and can make concrete suggestions for you to use.
It sounds like you think you are coming across as weird and someone to avoid. There could be many reasons for that, so best to ask an objective and trained mentor. If not a life coach (which is an unregulated field) then perhaps a psychologist or counselor?
Hope this helps! You’re very young to give up entirely... I do support your trying quitting porn as that can be distorting your view of women, sexuality and behavior. http://yourbrainonporn.com has some very eye-opening info on that.
Best wishes.
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A
male
reader, MrBigShot110 +, writes (25 April 2016):
MrBigShot110 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks, but I'm not looking for the wrong type of woman. I have high standards. It's just me and my behavior. I'm really just becoming sick of myself from it. I'm pretty sure it's just my lack of confidence mixed with strong desire and lack of knowledge, hence why I'm just done for now.
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A
male
reader, Denizen  +, writes (25 April 2016):
 It could be that you are just aiming for the wrong type of girl. I am assuming that you have done your best to be presentable...? You dress well, take care of your personal hygiene, have some conversation, pursue a few interests that you can tell them about...?
If you are weirding girls out it must be something that you do. Ask a female what you are doing wrong. You could ask a female friend or relation. And listen to what they say.
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