My partner lacks compassion and understanding about my medical condition
Q. I have a medical condition that causes me quite a lot of pain but my partner lacks understanding of this and compassion. This is definitely something that would cause me to willingly end the relationship. He says I am moaning about pain and is offe...
A. 27 April 2021: Leave him. Simple as. He doesn't care about you or your illness and you won't nagg him into caring either.... (read in full...)
My fiance wants to move from Italy to Manhatten. Could we make it?
Q. I'm uncertain of how to deal with this. Thought I'd ask. My fiancee told me on Saturday that the coronavirus pandemic made her really question her priorities in life and realize life's too short to stay in Italy. She told me that she'd secretl...
A. 15 April 2021: I think your fiancé is living in a fantasy world. If she wants to make it as a well paid model then her age is against her. This is in no way disrespectful to her but the models in the industry that are in their 30's have been in the business at ... (read in full...)
We had a falling out I extended an olive branch to my close friend but he didn't respond. Now what?
Q. Ok, folks. I need your advice on this one. Here's the story. I had a friend and we were a part of a larger group of friends and we were all part of a local sports club. He and I were really good pals, in fact I would class him as one of my closes...
A. 15 April 2021: You knew Mr Gossip would tell all, that is why he has the nickname Mr Gossip.
What's done is done. Your friend hasn't forgiven you so move on and put that energy into growing other friendships and relationships.
Next time, don't be easily ... (read in full...)
I'm still in love with him even though he is cruel
Q. Once upon a time I liked this boy from my primary school when I was 13. I told him how I felt about him on Facebook and his response was that I have problems. But it made me fall in love with him even more. Then one day, he called me an ugly bitch ...
A. 13 April 2021: You need to grow up. You are behaving like a loved up teenager and you're in your 30's for crying out loud.... (read in full...)
I fear my husband will cheat on my while overseas
Q. My husband of 10 years is currently residing in Spain because of his work. His tenure is 4 months and he is returning in May. I have been suffering extreme anxiety worrying if he is having his sexual needs met there without me. 4 months is a long t...
A. 1 April 2021: Always worrying if someone will betray is a waste of energy. Trust yourself enough to know that you can handle it when they do. You can walk away.
... (read in full...)
How to deal with girlfrfiend's 'avoidant tendancies'
Q. I have been dating a girl for a little over 3 months. I mostly feel very good about the relationship. The only problem is that she has strong avoidant attachment tendencies. I like to think that I am a particularly kind/patient/understanding person ...
A. 30 March 2021: I think the problem is actually with you. You have diagnosed this lady with a disorder after 3 months. Are you a specialist doctor in this kind of thing? Do you hope she has problems so that you can feel like her knight in shining armour and ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend refuses to get treatment for mental illness and her behaviour and attitude is really getting to me
Q. Hi and thanks My gf and I have been together over a year. She is very moody which is getting to me. She will be sweet and loving, then aloof and rude. She does suffer from mental illness and chooses not to be treated. I try ot encourage...
A. 29 March 2021: Unfortunately, you can't help her. You can advise her that she should see her GP but that is far as you can go with her.
Her mental health is now affecting you and that is not good. You need to end this relationship for your own health and let ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure whether to end this relationship or keep dating or what!
Q. For over a year, I have been "dating" a woman who I met at a folk dancing club, the only time I have met anyone in open play, although that was the goal of attending Her life has been a ripping yarn, indeed she has written 3 unpublished nove...
A. 22 March 2021: You do say that you overthink, judge and try to tick all the boxes.
Yes, the lady has had a colorful past but that does not make her a tart, naïve, reckless or selfish. She sounds like she likes adventure. You only get 1 life and she as sure ... (read in full...)
Did I just make up everything in my head? He finally told me we are just a FWB relationship
Q. I've met a guy four months ago and we hit it off from the very start. We texted multiple times a day, every day first thing in the morning, last thing before bed. We went on official dates, slept over at each other's (had amazing sex), cooked meals ...
A. 22 March 2021: With most relationships starting out, neither party communicate what they want from it because they are afraid of scaring the other person away before it can even get started.
When he told you to be careful with feelings, that alone is a warnin... (read in full...)
I think my girlfriend is lying to me again she has a history of doing so
Q. Can anyone help me with the math here because i think i'm being lied too by the woman i'm currently seeing. She text me good morning at 08.00, then another text at 08.57 asking how day was going. At 09.36 she text and said she was having bre...
A. 15 March 2021: You've got yourself into a bind. You took back someone who you knew lied and cheated on you. Now you are living with trust issue over her. If you want a happy, peaceful life, end the relationship and move on. You'll be free of suspicion and ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend left me during lockdown for his fling in a tropical paradise. Now he said he made a mistake
Q. My long time boyfriend left me to have a fling with a woman he met last November while visiting his parents who live in another country. It is a developing country and she is a poor native who speaks English but not very well. I saw their exchanges ...
A. 1 March 2021: Don't allow a man to tell you he doesn't want you more than once.
Giving him a second chance is very dangerous. He is capable of leaving you when things get bad. He isn't reliable or trustworthy.
Cut this loser out of your life.... (read in full...)
My guy sees me suffering financially but he ignores it
Q. I've been dating this guy for 2 years. Things have been cool between us but recently he has started changing. I'm the type who feel shy to ask her guy for financial assistance when the need arises; because I don't want to be a burden to him bu...
A. 1 March 2021: He isn't responsible for your financial crisis. You guys are not married so he has no obligation to help you out with money.
If you are looking for a man to look after you financially then end this relationship and find someone that will do that ... (read in full...)
Is my guy seeing someone else??
Q. I've been with my guy for some years now but I sometimes get the feeling he has started loosing interest in me. Whenever I ask him he always deny it. He's the first guy I've slept with and I really love him so much. He came to spend some time ...
A. 1 March 2021: It's clear as day that he is cheating. You just choose not to accept it even with the evidence of deleted chats. There is no point being in a relationship if there is no trust.
Stop blinding yourself to his secrecy. If he won't tell you the trut... (read in full...)
I feel so lost and I'm not quite sure why
Q. I feel very alone and lonely. I feel like no one cares. I have learnt to love myself and keep myself occupied. However i have been going through tough times with my gf. I’m sure we will be okay, but I feel disconnected with her, we did break up ...
A. 23 February 2021: It sounds as though you may be depressed. Please make an appointment with your GP and discuss how you are feeling to them. They can provide support in ways that family and friends cannot. They will refer you to a specialist in this area.
They ... (read in full...)
I don't want to not stand by a man cos of how much he earns.
Q. Hi Aunts, Both my partner and i have been speaking a lot about marriage and having kids. I'm ready for both but he is not. He is still living at home with his parents and brother. They have a 3 bedroom house. He has asked me who I would feel about...
A. 22 February 2021: I am interested in what kind of professional you are and what your salary actually is. Your grammar is very poor. From your message it sounds like you look down on him as a man. Am I right? How much a person earns doesn't really matter if they ... (read in full...)
I don't want to end the marriage but the trust is gone
Q. I've been married to A for 8 years and we have 2 children together. A few years ago we went through a bit of a rough patch where A felt that I was being distant and too busy for him. I admit that this was the case, but having a newborn and a potty ...
A. 22 February 2021: How on earth can you stay in a loveless marriage? This will also affect your children. If you want to stay in the marriage then both of you will have to put in a lot of time and effort, counselling in relationship re-building. If both of you do not ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend a sex addict?
Q. Hiiii :) So I've been with my boyfriend for just over a year now and things are really going great, I love him so much and vice versa. We did move in pretty quickly together because we couldn't face being apart during the first lockdown in the ...
A. 18 February 2021: If he was a sex addict, he would be cheating non stop, paying for sex, watching porn, paying for porn. He would be doing a lot of seedy things to fulfill his addiction so you can relax, he isn't a sex addict. When he tells you he isn't into porn,... (read in full...)
My husband and dad have moved in together and are acting very strangely
Q. My husband moved out and I later found out via Twitter he'd moved in with my dad (and my mom isn't happy at the amount of time they're spending together at all). He keeps posting to social media videos of them dancing to disco music in their u...
A. 17 February 2021: This is giving off troll vides but .... I'll respond in case it's a real problem.
What is confusing you about your husband and fathers behaviour? It is clear as day that they are having a sexual relationship. What is even more shocking is that ... (read in full...)
My cousin is obsessed with having the perfect baby
Q. I don't know what to think... I understand that my cousin is under a unimaginable amount of stress, but her egotism is getting the best of her. Long story short, we're in our mid forties. Since she couldn't find a guy, she decided to have a child ...
A. 10 February 2021: You may think you support her but you have a very entitled attitude towards her. You are very judgmental about the choices she has made. It isn't your life, your child or your choice. So what if she chose to get in shape, eat healthy and has high ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me he needed space to go "find himself" in a tropical destination. He said our relationship is over. Should I move on?
Q. I have a very big decision to make and I could use some advice from the good people here at Dear Cupid. My boyfriend ended our 2 year relationship a few months ago and travelled to a tropical destination; he has been there since. He said he neede...
A. 4 February 2021: Only allow a man to tell you he doesn't want you once. He never really committed to the relationship and for 2 years you met with resistance. Stop deluding yourself into thinking that you shared everything together. You didn't. You were just in ... (read in full...)
My LDR husband is asking for $4000
Q. Hi and thanks I wrote here before about my husband. I received alot of good advice. So we have been married for 4 years. We don't live together yet. He doesn't live where I do, so I was working on his visa. We have spent alot of time tog...
A. 3 February 2021: Oh my oh my. If you got great advice before, why didn't you listen to it? I can guarantee that your husband is African? No matter where he lives, it is not normal for a man to ask his wife for money to support him if he is employed. He is coning ... (read in full...)
Ex got upset and called me insensitive. Do I owe him more?
Q. My ex had been dealing with a lot after our breakup and after a week of not talking he reached out asking to get dinner because he needed some company after a tough week (death of his family member). I said I couldn’t but that I’m sorry he’s dealing ...
A. 22 January 2021: You didn't do anything wrong. He is your ex and you do not owe him anything. It's sad that he lost a family member but it isn't up to you to jump to his command when he needs someone. You sent your sympathies. That's enough.... (read in full...)
How do I deal with a very unsupportive partner?
Q. Hello Cupiders, How do I deal with a very unsupportive partner? I have always aimed for the best for both of us, fitness, finance, mental and emotional health. Lately I have noticed my long term partner has never supported me in my decisi...
A. 22 January 2021: What I get from what you have wrote are not clear examples of the problems you have. Just your expectations on how she should receive you and what you want to do with your life and hers. Has it ever crossed your mind that your expectations for her ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's comment have me wondering if I want to continue relationship
Q. I am in my early 50s and my boyfriend is 5 years younger. We both have grown up kids. He is financially much better off than me. He has successful couple businesses, owns few houses. I think his worth is couple millions dollars. His living habit...
A. 20 January 2021: I had this problem with my previous partner. I was a Professional (ballet)dancer for 24 years and retired at 29 years old. I travelled the world for 11 years of our relationship. When I left the arts, I went back to uni and graduated with a 1st. ... (read in full...)
Does anyone have any experience or advice in dealing with herpes?
Q. I recently started dating a girl. I don’t really see the point in casual dating, so my mind is focused on finding someone to marry, that I can be with forever and be happy. So far everything has been great and seems to get better as we get to kno...
A. 19 January 2021: I would firstly like to say well done for taking care of yourself sexually. It is the most important thing to do when getting into a new relationship. These are perfectly justified questions you have and you should discuss them with her. ... (read in full...)
I feel like I lost a lover even though we never met in person
Q. Hello I've matched with a guy on tinder and asked for his WhatsApp number and we started chatting we both agreed on first getting to know each other better, we have a few things in common both introverted and both the boring type eg.dont have a ...
A. 21 December 2020: This guy was only using you for pictures. He was demanding and believed you should have jump at each click of his finger. This isn't a lost love. You've been spared the misery of an abusive relationship. ... (read in full...)
Is this a toxic relationship?
Q. I’ve been with my significant other for 13 years, and with my history of questions I’ve posted here, you can see it hasn’t been all paradise This pandemic had showed me a lot. I work In healthcare so when the pandemic happened In March and things...
A. 16 December 2020: You are gaining absolutley nothing from this relationship. Why do you allow him to stay in your home and not contribute? Are you afraid of being alone? You are already alone, taking care of finances and raising your boys. Kick him out. You are ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend appears to lack empathy for others.
Q. Hi all I’d really like some input as to weather I’m being over sensitive . My partner and I don’t see eye to eye on certain matters and I am having a problem distinguishing if I am being too sensitive or if he is missing empathy and human compassion ...
A. 2 March 2020: I was in a relationship with my ex for 15 years and his lack of empathy for others was astonishing. I only saw this side of him when we began living together. Once we lived together then I met his siblings. This is where I saw the gravity of the ... (read in full...)
I lied to my girlfriend about why I don't drink alcohol.
Q. About ten years ago, I was a heavy drinker. One night, I got so drunk that I am surprised that I didn't die. I even threw up all over myself and the bed while I was sleeping. After that night, I quit drinking completely. When my girlfriend and I...
A. 2 March 2020: You didn't lie. You don't drink for medical reasons. Er, you want to avoid a medical problem that drinking will cause so you avoid it.
I don't see a lie here.... (read in full...)
He says he will never marry me, which makes me think I am not good enough.
Q. Hey all been with my partner for a year I've moved in with him and it's going great he has 2 young children who he sees alot and we have a great time together. Hes been married twice and engaged once. I've been engaged twice and married once. We ...
A. 2 March 2020: Marriage does not give you emotional security, only you can give that to yourself. Marriage isn't a forever thing which both of you have experienced.
If you can't be in a relationship without marriage then end it and move on. If you can then you... (read in full...)
Unrequited love... I totally messed up any chance with my crush, why do I act so weird around him?
Q. So I'm feeling really down on myself at the moment. I'm generally a very bubbly, nice person. My friends all tell me how kind I am and I just like to smile and be happy. However recently I've been the total opposite, mainly down to feeling ...
A. 2 March 2020: You know it's silly so STOP. You 2 are behaving so immaturely and you're almost 30. Send him a message, apologise for your childish behavior and ask him out on a date. His answer should tell you how he really feels.
It would put you out of your ... (read in full...)
What the heck is wrong with this man and his comments?
Q. Hi guys, my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years and 2 months, but there is something that I cant quite wrap my finger about and it’s the fact that my boyfriend every time we see a movie, show or whatever on tv and theres a pretty or ...
A. 2 March 2020: He does it because you allow him to do it in front of you. You are a woman of 35, surely you know yourself by now what you tolerate in a relationship?
If you do't like it, dump him. You deserve a guy who looks only at you. Stop wasting your tim... (read in full...)
How do I end this affair with my married lover and father of my child?
Q. Hello everyone, so I know I'm going to get alot of hate for this topic, and I've never seen myself being the type of woman to get myself involved with a married because I know how that ends. But anyway, I have a 9 year old with my ex who is mar...
A. 2 March 2020: I'll tell you at first hand how this will play out. My sister has been with a married man for almost 20 years. She has 2 children with him and he has never left his wife for her. He has used her all these years yet she still stays with him. She ... (read in full...)
My husband walked out on me after a fight and doesn't care that we don't have money or care about us
Q. I am feeling so hurt and my hear aches so much. My husband and I were good on Friday and later Friday night, he was out with his brother and sister drinking. He came home after 2am drunk and we had an argument... I told him it is best we go our ...
A. 2 March 2020: You told him that it was best to go your separate ways. What did you expect? He did what you asked. He left and that was that.
He is still financially responsible for your children so I suggest you contact a lawyer and get the ball rolling ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants me to help him through his heroin addiction I'm not sure that I want to
Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for five months and we really love each other like I’ve neber before we only see each other the weekends as he lives 40 mins away and works nights but that’s changed this weekend he’s back on days and was supposed to be ...
A. 2 March 2020: You need to think very carefully about the next step in this relationship. Firstly, never believe what the drug user is saying. He may have started smoking heroine 2 weeks ago but I doubt very much that this is true. Do not let him live with you. ... (read in full...)
Was it a good idea to make a fake account and test my lying boyfriend?
Q. Hello agony aunts, I've been with my boyfriend for almost two years. It's been a very rough relationship because we were always on and off because of his controlling behaviour. He lied to me about his age, his family and about him not talking to ...
A. 20 February 2020: The energy you have put into giving this loser another chance tells me that you are insecure and afraid of being alone.
I think you enjoy the temporary power you have over him when he is begging for another chance but in all honesty it is him who ... (read in full...)
When my partner gets mad I get the silent treatment
Q. I have this ongoing issue with my bf of 5 years. Whenever he gets mad at me, he gives me the silent treatment. Sometimes it's a few hours; sometimes it's days. He's even gone a few weeks, which was absolute torture, but I'm getting better at ...
A. 11 February 2020: You say the kids are too young to notice anything. THEY NOTICE AND WILL IMITATE. This is abusive behavior and you need to leave this relationship. My ex partner did this to me and our daughter. I ended up having a mental breakdown and my ... (read in full...)
Is it possible for this to happen?
Q. My boyfriend was married at twenty years old, he is now forty. He has said he was naive, manipulated into getting married and knew he didn't love her. Is it possible people do get married when they know they don't love someone and know it wont last ...
A. 28 January 2020: It's astonishing that you fail to believe him. People can be emotionally blackmailed by family to marry people that they do not love.
At 20 years old he was merely still a boy. That must have been a terrible burden for him to carry. With the... (read in full...)
My father feels I betrayed him when I was a child.
Q. My father has been mad at me for years and will hardly even speak to me. He and mom were divorced when I was 7, my brother was 9, and my sister was 4. Mom is old school about certain things. When I was 10, I had stayed out past dark playing at a ...
A. 28 January 2020: He wanted to use his child as leverage over your mother. Come live with me and I will give you everything and let you do whatever you want. Perfect example of trying to manipulate a child. You have been well raised by your mother. You chose to stay ... (read in full...)
He cried more over his old dog dying than he did over us splitting up.
Q. Hi I’ve just ended a 6 year relationship he preferred being at work and spending time with his dog than with me and his twin daughters who are 3 years old the problem is he is still living with me until he finds somewhere we split up 6 weeks ago I ...
A. 28 January 2020: When you care for an animal, it becomes your companion and best friend. I feel for your ex. The loss of a family pet is just as bad as losing a family member. You shouldn't judge him on how he has reacted to this trauma. I also believe that he ... (read in full...)
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