A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About ten years ago, I was a heavy drinker. One night, I got so drunk that I am surprised that I didn't die. I even threw up all over myself and the bed while I was sleeping. After that night, I quit drinking completely. When my girlfriend and I started dating, I told her I couldn't drink for medical reasons. Sometimes I feel guilty for not being completely honest with her. Should I ever tell her the whole truth?
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female
reader, CarrieSoa  +, writes (2 March 2020):
 You didn't lie. You don't drink for medical reasons. Er, you want to avoid a medical problem that drinking will cause so you avoid it.
I don't see a lie here.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 February 2020): Typo correction:
"Medical reasons are why many people shouldn't drink!"
You didn't outright lie, but maybe down the road you can add the details. At this point, get to know each other well before divulging details that haven't affected your relationship up to now. Giving her the impression you lied about that (you didn't add vomiting on yourself) will only make her wonder what else you've lied about. Sometimes caution until the right moment is prudence.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): I don’t think it’s important to set the record straight, unless it’s REALLY bothering you. Although I will say it was a weird thing to lie about in the first place. You could’ve just told her you don’t want to drink because you had a tendency to go overboard with it in the past, so you feel you’re better off just staying away from it. Surely, she’d respect that?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): Medial reasons are why many people shouldn't drink! Excessive-drinking damages the liver, kills brain cells, alcohol destroys the stomach lining, causes heart disease, and lowers the inhibitions and slows brain functions. For those who have inherited the addiction-gene, it causes repeated alcohol-addiction passed-down through a family history. I gave-up drinking for my faith. If anybody asks, that's what I tell them.
You don't need to give the dirty details. You've confessed to us, that's good enough. Let your confession lift the burden of guilt from your heart. You told the truth.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): Be proud of yourself for recognizing the future of your health had you not stopped in your tracks, feel no guilt because you have actually stopped for medical reasons, because this would have led to medical problems. I see so many young men and young women die of alcohol-related medical issues at work, nursing. So sad, they return and return until they reach a certain point where their bodies an take no more and they leave in a coffin. A male acquaintance of mine only 45 died just before Christmas of liver failer because of alcohol and left behind his 10-year-old daughter, who he brought up after her mother died of drugs.
Have no guilt, and remember you have been blessed with the foresight to choose the right road.
Why tell your girlfrend a story that never happened.
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female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (28 February 2020):
 I suppose technically it IS a medical reason. You can't drink because you lose control and put your life at risk.
To answer your question, I think you SHOULD tell her the truth and the sooner the better. Apologize for lying and tell her you don't want there to be any secrets between you. Admit you were out of control and had to stop so as not to endanger your life.
I hope she understands why you lied.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): OP that was 10 years ago. You were intelligent to realize what could have happened, you didn't want it to happen again so you changed your lifestyle. Good for you! Splitting hairs, you DID do it for medical reasons in a sense. You COULD have died so it isn't as though you told your girlfriend an absolute lie, its in the "grey" area. That being said..its weighing on you, so tell her the truth. It will make you feel better and I'm pretty sure she'll understand. I was married to an alcoholic so I have seen the extreme amount of damage that alcohol can do. I admire anyone who sees they have a problem and takes care of it. I have drank, have no desire to but I certainly understand the dangers of those that drink too much.
Just tell her. You'll feel better.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 February 2020): You made a responsible choice by quitting drinking. I’ve been sober for 5 years and still find myself lying about why I don’t. If he supports you she won’t care why you don’t drink all she’ll care about is supporting your decision.
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (28 February 2020):
 Yes.
You were in your 20's when it happened. You OBVIOUSLY recognized that your drinking (at least THAT night) had been out of control and that you could have died as a result. Quitting drinking was the SMART choice, IMHO.
I went through something similar, though I had a blackout, no throwing up, but it scared me enough that I quit drinking.
I also recognized that I had a hard time in just having 1-2 drinks. So quitting seemed the best solution for me.
I can probably count on 2 hands the number of drinks I have had in the last 20 years.
My husband knows. He occasionally has a beer or two, doesn't bother me at all. Both he and I have alcoholics in our family tree, so not drinking seems just smart.
I think you should be honest with her. And I think it's a "forgivable" lie.
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