A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have a medical condition that causes me quite a lot of pain but my partner lacks understanding of this and compassion.This is definitely something that would cause me to willingly end the relationship.He says I am moaning about pain and is offended because I can't do normal things.He says he is often in pain but never complains about it.I find it easier to deal with when he isn't here.I don't think I want a relationship with anyone, anymore.I just want a bit of compassion and couldn't care less about romance or anything else.I could ask the doctors for stronger pain killers but they are reluctant to increase them.I can bear with it so long as no one is complaining about me being in pain. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Briar88  +, writes (28 April 2021):
I have a pain tolerance so high I don't notice most of the cuts and bruises I end up with until I see them, and I am still a caring and compassionate person, I would have gone out of my way to help around the house and listen to your problems, instead of dropping my own on you. I agree with the other guy, if it were me I'd be gone by now. He obviously doesn't care much if he is complaining about it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2021): Hi
Sorry that you are in a state of chronic pain, I would guess you have been given a pain management plan? or as more often than not just given tablets to deal with it, which help cause other health conditions sometimes.
Your partner may feel that he just can't help you and he obviously can't. I think you may have to consider separate lives and focus on your own healing. Compassion can can be given to yourself by seeking help and understanding your condition more. Sometimes we hold the key to our own recovery or coping better.
You obviously do not explain your medical issues on here, so we can only second guess your state of health. I strongly suggest that you seek advice for better management of pain and even see your doctor about extra complimentary therapies to ease the pain. Some Complimentary therapies are going to be at the forefront of pain management someday, so look into this with your GP as he can social prescribe for you.
Good look and remember pain does not always start from physical injury, work with the whole.
I am sending you a rainbow hug.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2021): Compassion is the main component of love. If you can't empathize when your partner is suffering for any reason; there is really little or no love there. I know people who suffer chronic pain, and my own sister has lupus. She keeps her spirits up; and has her good days and bad days. Her husband is very understanding; and he cooks and helps her clean on those rough days. Otherwise, he is very kind and comforting.
You deserve someone who understands; even if they can't relate to your illness. He says he doesn't complain? He probably has a higher pain threshold, and a totally different medical problem. Comparing how he handles his pain with how you handles yours was very calloused and inappropriate. He seems annoyed with you. It's best not to have him around; if he only intensifies your suffering and discomfort. I mean, dump him for good!
It's good that your doctors are reluctant to increase the strength of your painkillers. That's how many people end-up addicted to opioid painkillers or oxycontin. I'm so very sorry for your discomfort. You should do some research and look into specialists who deal with your specific type of chronic pain. There are also holistic and non-drug therapies that help people who have chronic pain.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (27 April 2021):
 Anyone who is truly in love with someone will be accepting of them no matter what.
I think that he is being really selfish and not understanding whatsoever about your medical condition.
I assume that he know that you had a medical condition that prevented you for doing certain things when he met you?.
I think that this relationship has come to its end, which you have pretty much said in your post.
I would not rule out dating again, there are good people out there that would be compassionate about your medical condition and not belittle you with hurtful comments.
I would end things with him and move on with your life.
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A
female
reader, CarrieSoa +, writes (27 April 2021):
 Leave him. Simple as. He doesn't care about you or your illness and you won't nagg him into caring either.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2021): Is there a question? You've stated he has no compassion and you want to end it willingly so are we supposed to try and tell you not to?
If the relationship brings nothing positive to your life and you feel you would be better on.your own then you answered your own question?
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