| Latest articles: Why we shouldn't cheat
This question has 9 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
4 December 2009: Since Tiger Woods has now admitted to cheating it seems like everybody is doing it. So why not cheat? There are a lot of other respectable politicians and entertainment personalities who have done it and some even get caught doing it as well. So ...
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I have faked it for 10 years...help?
Q. i have had sex for 10 years and have never felt any sexual pleasure form it for ten years i have faked it. it hurts becasue my marriage is now over becasue it gets worst everytime, i know i wont feel nothing os i dont get horny. oral sex only gives ...
A. 1 January 2010: Orgasm through intercourse is not always easy and 80% of women cannot orgasm through intercourse alone. Most need stimulation of clitoris to achieve an orgasm. You are NORMAL and just need more education on how to achieve an orgasm. Do not give ... (read in full...)
Sex w/o condoms safe?
Q. Well, I'm a 15 year old male that has a very honest girlfriend. For the past year or so, we have been expiramenting with sexual touching, oral sex, ect,. When we we're on teh phone the other day, she asked me if I wanted to have sex. I told her I ...
A. 1 January 2010: It only takes one sperm to fertilize an egg. There are on average 7 million sperm in your fluid that you express when you "cum". You can pull out but when you are having sex you do secrete some fluid before you cum. So yes you can get her ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend asked if his was biggest
Q. I wanted to be honest and open with my boyfriend who I adore. It was about my past in bed, past boyfriends. I was only serious with one other. The question of size came up. It wasn't good, actually bad with my first serious boyfriend. Is great ...
A. 1 January 2010: I would always do whatever I can to make my boyfriend feel good about himself, whatever that is... So if you have to embelish the story, do just that. It is better to lie a little and make him feel wonderful than to be honest and make him feel less ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for me to be so afraid of his penis?
Q. So I've been seeing this boy for while now, and thing are starting to get intense, sexually. He rub me and makes me orgasm, but I'm too scared to do anything to him. I don't know what's wrong with me but every time I touch his penis I get jumpy and ...
A. 1 January 2010: It is ok to be timid about touching a man at your age and it is normal. Don't feel bad about yourself at all. If you don't want to do anything you shouldn't do it. And just have converstions with your boyfriend about your fears and what you are ... (read in full...)
My older bro want's to mess around...Help?
Q. Hi this is all a little weird for me, but I need some help. My older brother and I are really close, since we were little. But recently we have been talking and innocnetly I told him about a dream I had about him and thought he would just call me ...
A. 1 January 2010: Stay away from him as much as possible and tell somebody as soon as possible. Don't talk to him anymore. This is obviously very wrong and you both should not be having these conversations at all. This is incest. ... (read in full...)
Why we shouldn't cheat
Q. Since Tiger Woods has now admitted to cheating it seems like everybody is doing it. So why not cheat? There are a lot of other respectable politicians and entertainment personalities who have done it and some even get caught doing it as well. So ...
A. 26 December 2009: After I found out my ex husband cheated on me I never looked at him the same way again. I tried for another year and a half to make our marriage work and had good intentions to do so. I thought I could forgive him and move on. But I always held ... (read in full...)
Do you think my wife will cheat again?
Q. My wife has been cheating on me for so many times and i still forgive her.I know its stupid of me but i don't want our family to be torn apart.shes a good liar and a really selfish bitch.One time,she said shes going to throw the trash and i was ...
A. 26 December 2009: I am sorry. Be strong, and end this bad relationship once and for all. dont ever go back. Stay strong, and find a better life. You can do this!... (read in full...)
Dad is cheating on mom I have the messages as proof do I let mom hear them?
Q. My parents have been married for 19 years and my dad has been cheating on my mom for as long as i can remember i believe she knows i thought he stopped but i have his voicemail password and i secretly check it a few times a week and there are ...
A. 26 December 2009: First of all I am so so sorry you have to live knowing this is happening to your parents. You must feel awful. This is a very hard thing to experience and you are very much affected by what your father is doing even though it is not all in the ... (read in full...)
My husband keeps cheating so what do I do?
Q. My husband keeps cheating on me He gives me large amounts of money take care of his kids and pay all my bills we have been married for 5 years and have 3 beautiful girls ages 4, 3, 2, I'm 24 and he's 28 He's never home I'm gettng tired of this and ...
A. 26 December 2009: You need to end this non caring non loving relationship you are in. Find a way to support yourself, move out or kick him out, and take care of yourself starting now. Don't allow him to cheat. Tell him this bad relationship is OVER. Why stay in a ... (read in full...)
Is cheating acceptable? Why would they want to stay friends?
Q. About two months ago I split with my fiance of over 4 years. We were living together and engaged. We hit a bad patch and instead of trying to solve things, she went looking in private and then cheated on me. Two months later I threw her out when I ...
A. 26 December 2009: Your heart is broken but I can promis in time it will heal. You have to move on and if you want your sanity try hard not to communicate with her anymore. I think that your relationship is over and even though you should be able to justify the small ... (read in full...)
Help for my sex addiction...
Q. I think I may have a problem in that I think I'm a sex addict. I want to stop and I'm ashamed to get help for it. I find it hard to end it with these men that I am fb with. I dont want to hurt anyone. What can I do? ...
A. 8 December 2009: SAA Sex Addiction Annoynmous and SLAA Sex and Love addiction annonymous are groups designed to help sex addicts in recovery. Look them up online and see if there are any local groups in your area that can support you through meetings... (read in full...)
Should I recommend her to divorce???
Q. My best friend suffered a lot cos her husband cheated on her and passed onto her a sexually transmitted disease. Now she's found somebody and they ocasionally have sex and she's thinking about divorce as her husband never apologised and doesn'r ...
A. 7 December 2009: I honestly don't think you should say anything at all. I think it is her business and I think that she will come to that conclusion when she is ready. It is definitly heading in that direction anyways, and it will run it's course. I am sorry for ... (read in full...)
He left his wife for me, but now he treats me badly
Q. Hello, I have been on here several times and I wanted to update my stories. I was seeing a married man for six years. His wife finally left him, and we moved in together. I thought things was really going to be okay, and that I was finally goin...
A. 4 December 2009: I am also sorry you have been with this guy for so long. He is a loser and he used you. Never date a married guy because they just want one thing, ...sex. And now that is all he wants as well. Move out and find a guy that is not attached to ... (read in full...)
I'm ready for sex, but not able to lubricate the way I used to
Q. What can you do when you have the desire for sex, but lack the lube to make it enjoyable? This is a recent problem for me and it's freaking me out. I have NEVER had a problem getting wet during foreplay. My b/f is great in bed and really takes the ...
A. 4 December 2009: As women get older they have less natural lubrication and all you need to do is buy some and apply it prior to sex. It is that simple really. Have fun!!!!... (read in full...)
I like older men, is the age gap a problem?
Q. I'm 18 but i like guys who are around 25-27 because most of the guys i have been with around my age are total pr*cks who have just used me for sex. However, I find that the older 1s actually want to know ME not my body, is this too much of an a...
A. 4 December 2009: All guys can use you for sex if you let them. That is the key. Do not get involved with a guy and have sex with them before establishing any kind of a relationship with them. It doesn't matter the guys age really. It matters that you take ... (read in full...)
Sex but no relationship
Q. Ive been talking to this for 6months and we been having sex. But we are not together and he says he doesnt want to rush into relationship. And that way fine when first started talking but now im ready for relationship. I wanna say that to him but i ...
A. 4 December 2009: Never again have sex with any guy until you have established the fact that you really would like a relationship with them first. It is too hard for women to seperate sex and love, they end up really liking somebody after having sex with them over a ... (read in full...)
Is there such as a thing as a counsellor or psychiatrist that specialises in sexual issues?
Q. Is there such as a thing as a councellor/psychiatrist that specialises in sexual issues? And if so how do I arrange to see one? When I was 7 my Dad went into prison for sexual harassment on teenage girls. When I was a teenager I had very strict ...
A. 4 December 2009: You should not be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is the best thing you can do for yourself. Please look up SAA (sex addiction annoynmous) online for further assistance and to find an expert in your area. I think that they could help you ... (read in full...)
Since being played I cannot trust
Q. im a 22 year old virgin.my whole school experience was pretty terrible for me i always felt insecure missplace and low because i was always being made fun of, plus my first relationship ever was a sad wreck i got played! as a result im unconfident ...
A. 3 December 2009: The past is the past. You cannot change it and you should never look back since it really will not predict the future unless you allow it to. Just let it all go and start from scratch. You are not what happened to you, but what you make happen ... (read in full...)
Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?
Q. So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...
A. 3 December 2009: I think that in all honesty we all like to have our mate looking their best. It helps with feeling physically attracted to them. I guess it is human nature. Not much we can do about it. We can't deny that we like looking at attractive people in ... (read in full...)
The shine has worn off our relationship
Q. Wanted some help, me and my ex started our relationship really happy and we were for about a year and a half then we started arguing and got worse till we were arguing almost everyday over things that didnt even matter. She is very insecure and ...
A. 3 December 2009: It won't get better unless you find out why she is so insecure and she starts to get some therapy for her insecurity and possible low self esteem issues she seems to be having. You should not have to see her everyday or feel smothered. That is a ... (read in full...)
Blood drops in my urine, what could this be?
Q. hi this morning i had blood drops in my urine after 3 to 4 drops the urine went clear this happened the whole day i went 8 to 10 time to urine each and every time what could be the reason.please help i am afraid.i havent masturbated for ...
A. 3 December 2009: urinary tract infection or bladder infection which can be treated by a doctor. Just go see a doc and you will be ok....... (read in full...)
I am in love with a player who doesn't give a damn
Q. I have been with my guy for five years. He refuses to agree to have a monogamous relationship but says that I am the only one. I have knowledge that he has cheated several time. He wont say that he loves me but wont say that he dosent. Our lives are ...
A. 2 December 2009: As painful and hard as it might be, you need to let this guy go. You deserve better and can get better. There are plenty of men who would be very faithful to you and love you and ONLY YOU. Why not make yourself available to somebody who will love ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to make out with someone when you're about to break up with your girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone. I was just wondering if it's okay to cheat if you're about to break up. I have a gf and i'm not really happy with things so i'm going to break up with her when I see her next. I was wondering if it's okay if I make out with someone ...
A. 2 December 2009: No. You haven't broken up with her yet. So you are still together in her mind. And you should feel guilty. That is why you are posting this question, because of the guilt you feel. You were hoping somebody would tell you it is ok so you could ... (read in full...)
I would rather be single than be cheated on...
Q. I have been married for 10 years and we have 4 kids and one on the way. My husband for the most part is a wonderful man and a wonderful father. My problem is that he has a great fascination with online porn and I keep finding he's putting his ...
A. 2 December 2009: Look up sex addiction annonymous SAA or sex and love addiction annonymous SLAA for advice on his addiction to porn. He has an addiction. He needs help. You do too. He may love you but he is going to ruin your marriage with this problem if he ... (read in full...)
After her affair, all her flaws seriously annoy me. Is it possible to fall out of love with somebody?
Q. I've been involved with a girl for three years. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost two years. I've tried hard to make the long distance thing work. It almost did, as she is planning on moving to live with me in 6 months after ...
A. 2 December 2009: Absolutely! I suffered the same issue after my husband told me he cheated and had sex with prostitutes throughout our marriage. At first I was very forgiving because for one thing, they were not romantic affairs of the heart. And also he seemed ... (read in full...)
Should I keep chasing this girl?
Q. Hi everyone :) I like a girl in my workplace, who is 8 years older than me. One day, in a conversation, she said she can't accept a guy younger than her as bf. Reason, girl gets old faster than guys do. Guess she knows I like her lol. Since sh...
A. 2 December 2009: If she is interested in your she will let you know. In the meantime I would just treat her as a friend and don't ask her out again. I am not sure she wanted to go out with you as anything more than "friends" because she asked her girlfriend to tag ... (read in full...)
Please can anyone help Me? ..I am headed for a breakdown!
Q. right, here goes... i don't know what to do with myself. in theory my life is good, i'm at college, got a decent relationship with my mum, got an absolutely amazing guy who would do anything for me and has asked me to marry him. but underneath i...
A. 1 December 2009: I think you are suffering from a depression and need help possibly. I think you need to get counseling from the rape you experienced. I think you will be ok if you try to get help and a professional oponion. You sound very smart and I think you ... (read in full...)
When I'm with my boyfriend it doesn't feel like we are a couple...any advice?
Q. ok, so ive been with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months now and we hardly ever see each other, but when we do we dont act like a couple what i mean by this is we dont hold hands and walk and i guess the reason for that is because he walks fast and ...
A. 1 December 2009: Maybe you are the affectionate type and he is not. That doesn't mean that he can't change. You have to tell him you want to feel closer and you would like to hug him and have a hug more often. That is all. Try talking to him about this.... (read in full...)
Kissing (and sleeping) Cousins, what if the family finds out?
Q. Me and my second cousin are 17 we fell in love in secret, slept together in secret i also found out i was pregnant but we had a miscarriage, our family would go crazy at us he said he dosent care as long as he's with me but i cant help but be very ...
A. 1 December 2009: Do not get pregnant again. You should have genetics counseling prior to ever having children with a cousin. You need to know the risks of defects and what could happen to your child. ... (read in full...)
Should I end things with my wife in order to be with her sister?
Q. i am overwhelmingly in love with my wife's sister, and have been for almost 4 years since her divorce. she has 2 boys. i am not in love with my wife and we haven't been intimate in years (at least 10). i want to divorce my wife, and begin a ...
A. 1 December 2009: I am so sorry but this would never work out and in the end this relationship would be very unhappy because of all the conflict it will cause in the family. You should not marry her sister at all. You should get a divorce and move on in order to be ... (read in full...)
Porn and masturbation addiction... Desperately need help.
Q. I desperately need help. I would say I am addicted to watching porn and masturbating. I am a relationship for 2 years and we do have sex, sometimes amazing and sometimes dull. She makes love the way I want but not always and not everything that I ...
A. 1 December 2009: You need to contact SAA (sex addicts annonymous) It is a real and treatable addiction. There are support groups for this and there are trained professional therapists that can help you. You are not alone in this problem. It has become so ... (read in full...)
She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 1 December 2009: You can absolutely forgive a cheater but to forgive and forget is a different story. Forgiveness is for you to move forward in your life and to let go of the anger and hurt the cheating causes you. You will never forget completely and when you are ... (read in full...)
I am torn between my wife and my lover
Q. Should I leave after 13 years? I have a 4 year old and a 3 month. I am a 32 year old male I've been with my current girl friend for 13 years we never married. I will refer to her as my wife. I have had my lover for 3 years. off for 1 and on for a...
A. 1 December 2009: Leave your girlfriend, the one you call WIFE because you obviously cannot even make a real commitment to her or marry her. Right? You don't love her enough to marry her? So end it! Don't cheat on her anymore, that is awufl and hurtful.... (read in full...)
Girlfriend of 17 years is cheating on me!
Q. My girlfriend of 17 years is cheating on me and its happend a few times in the past..I stayed because of our kids and wanted it to work..but now I am fed up with it...the thing is her sister has been there for me through this and is in a bad ...
A. 1 December 2009: Ok, you are considering cheating with her sister? Dont do it unless you both leave your relationships first. Your girlfriend cheating on you is wrong. So you cheating on her is just as wrong. I would tell her you are ending your relationship with ... (read in full...)
How do I overcome this and learn to feel better about myself?
Q. like 5 months ago a guy i reallllly like sat their after we came from a party where i got really drunk! he sat in his house with his friends and told them how he thinks im boring.. this still hurts my feelings up till this day. i dont know if ...
A. 1 December 2009: This is a crush you have on him honey. You are very young and in your lifetime you will experience many "crushes" on many guys. This won't be the first or last crush you have. And what he said about you would hurt anybody's feelings. I am sure ... (read in full...)
I was so angry with my married lover that I sent a letter to his son revealing all about our relationship!
Q. Dear Cupid, Can love be so true when he is with other women at the same time he is with me? I am 38 yrs old and separated. I met a 68 yrs old married man through internet chatting. I fell intensely in love with him and we shared feelings onlin...
A. 27 November 2009: Let this guy go. He will drive you insane with his cheating ways and will never be only yours. Don't send any letters to his family anymore, his children can't do anything for you or help the fact that their dad is a cheating bastard. ... (read in full...)
I'm ready to end relationship and pregnancy..help!
Q. I'm so hurt I think its time to end my relationship and not continue my pregnancy. Yesterday was my birthday my co-workers bought me flowers and took me to lunch. My boyfriend did nothing for me. When I got to his house from work he had already ...
A. 27 November 2009: Get counseling and then make the appropriate decision after you have weighed all the facts and scenarios. Do not stay with an alcoholic just because you are pregnant. That is not fair to you or the baby. ... (read in full...)
My son's coach doesn't reply to my texts. Is it because I'm older?
Q. [Moderator note: age posted is incorrect. Two questions combined into one.] i met this guy two months ago, at my son game, hes the coach, and little by little ive become interested in him. I told him that i though he was sexy and that i love his...
A. 27 November 2009: Forget about him and go for somebody your age. He is not interested or he would have hooked up with you.... (read in full...)
What is the cure?
Q. I need to know is there a cure? My girlfriend and I broke up last June. I thought I was fine and over her, I do not want to get back together with her or even see her again. But for some reason I found out that she is dating again and has a new ...
A. 26 November 2009: Time. Only time will mend a broken heart and make you not care about her anymore. In the meantime though, you can work on yourself and try to become a beter person despite what you feel like you want to do to get even or to cause her distress. Let ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend slapped me... what should I do for him to forgive me?
Q. What should i do my boyfriend slapped me? What should i do for him to forgive me? me and my boyfriend got in a big argument about where we will spend thanksgiving and i said a few things and kicked him where it would hurt the most.. cause he was p...
A. 26 November 2009: Nobody in a relationship should hit, punch, kick,slap or in any way violently touch one another. It is all wrong. You both are immature and not well educated it seems. Why yell, why fight and why try to hurt one another? It is pointless and ... (read in full...)
She is moving to be with me, but I am having second thoughts!
Q. I am stuck and don't know what to do. My girlfriend and I dated for 3 years. She is 6 years younger and is still in school. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now. I've done everything I could to make it work, and it ...
A. 26 November 2009: I think you know the answer already and are stalling because of the discomfort it will bring you both when you tell her. You need to tell her you are not 100% sure anymore about her moving and you need more time. You also need to forget about the ... (read in full...)
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