A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:About two months ago I split with my fiance of over 4 years. We were living together and engaged. We hit a bad patch and instead of trying to solve things, she went looking in private and then cheated on me. Two months later I threw her out when I found out, and now the guy she cheated with has moved in with her after only a few weeks.I've pretty much decided that I would not go back with her even if that opportunity ever arose (which is quite unlikely given the speed, I guess). I broke no contact the other day to wish her happy birthday, resulting in a string of emails where she said she still wanted to be friends. I don't think she really understands just how much pain she has caused. All the language seemed to indicate that she wasn't really that bothered about the split even though she admitted what we had was special and that she still wants to stick up for me...What I would like to hear people's opinion on is: is cheating ever acceptable? Is arguing in a relationship over stupid small stuff normal? Why would a cheater want to remain friends if she is in a new relationship that she says is fantastic??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, bitch  +, writes (26 December 2009):
Your heart is broken but I can promis in time it will heal. You have to move on and if you want your sanity try hard not to communicate with her anymore. I think that your relationship is over and even though you should be able to justify the small arguments you had which were normal, you cannot ever justify cheating. She should have broken up with you first. She should have had the nerve to end the relationship and then move onto another one after ending your relationship. Cheating is for sissys. Why can't people just end the relationship when they are done and no longer happy? Don't be upset with her anymore. You can't change her feelings and you can't change what happened. You can only change YOU. So if you want to be happy, make some positive changes and get yourself in a better place before you get a new girlfriend. You deserve better than her just remember that.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 December 2009):
She's feeling guilty, that's why. Personally, I'd stay away permanently, or you'll only be dragged into a mess. She is now the past, so leave it in the past. And I do believe cheating is wrong, though in very few cases, I can understand it. But I don't see why she did here, so leave her well and truly in the past.
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