A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Me and my second cousin are 17 we fell in love in secret, slept together in secret i also found out i was pregnant but we had a miscarriage, our family would go crazy at us he said he dosent care as long as he's with me but i cant help but be very concerned in what they would say someone needs to give me some advice
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2009): If your not related then Happy Birthday there's your prize. But if you are related -Sigh- I completely agree with Lucy.Whittaker, and everything she took the time to explain. But just know one thing...what ever you choose to do in the end, will forever and always be in your Conscience, because you know if what your doing is truly wrong or not, and it can lead to the feelings of remorse. Sorry to sound mean and what not, but it's not mean, It's True. (and it's lamentable for the lose of the baby so sorry)
A
female
reader, lucy.whittaker +, writes (13 December 2009):
 Hey,
Sorry to be one of the least supportive people to answer, as everyone else seems to think this is a normal thing to do? But personally, I think being in a relationship with a member of your family is just wrong. I am sorry that you lost a baby, but it's not normal to be with a member of you're family. If they do find out you'll have to be ready for some serious repercussions, but if being with your cousin means more to you than the love of your immediate family then that's up to you. You're 16/17. Plenty of time to move on with your life and find someone who isn't related to you. There are perfectly good reasons why people stopped marrying their cousins years and years ago. Google it. If you think that you will stay together forever, and I mean real forever, without the stary shiny I love you forever thing then good luck to you, but to alienate your family over something that might not last? I'd keep it very very very secret for a long time until you are sure. Problem is, if you brought it into the open after all that time, the dynamic of the relationship would change. He might get bored with you because it's not forbidden anymore. I don't know, but the way I see it, you and your cousin won't last, you shouldn't last. Sorry to say it, and not advocate relationships with members of your family like the rest of the people here, but someone with some common sense needs to answer. Find a male friend who isn't related to you and keep the love of your family. Once you lose it you might never get it back.
Lucy
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2009): You realise it is actually LEGAL for you to date, marry and even have sex with your cousin in the U.K. right?
So even though it is still a tad strange, no one can do a damn thing about it given you are both over the age of consent.
The risk of defects to a child concieved by thw two of you is scarcely more than normal. The normal rate is 2 percent. For cousins that would in crease to 3 maybe 4 percent tops.
Flynn 24
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A
female
reader, bitch  +, writes (1 December 2009):
Do not get pregnant again. You should have genetics counseling prior to ever having children with a cousin. You need to know the risks of defects and what could happen to your child.
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A
male
reader, ergophobic +, writes (1 December 2009):
love may be love, but no one wants kids with webbed feet. keep to potato sack races at the family reunion and out out of your cousin's pants.
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A
female
reader, KANDIWRPR +, writes (1 December 2009):
 is he your second cousin through blood? or through marriage?
well i suggest that if you really love him then stay with him. maybe when time comes you and him can open up to your guys family
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A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Well, being second cousins is batter than being first cousins involved, and may even reduce the likelihood of birth defects if ever there are children, although your initial experience of miscarriage may be a warning.
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A
male
reader, Hayatori +, writes (1 December 2009):
 Love is love, if you really are in love with him than be with him. Your family doesn't understand. Its between you and your cousin. It's HARDLY any of your family's business. They may be your family but they don't have the right to tell you who you should and should not love.
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