A
female
age
41-50,
*rownsugar33
writes:Hello, I have been on here several times and I wanted to update my stories. I was seeing a married man for six years. His wife finally left him, and we moved in together. I thought things was really going to be okay, and that I was finally going to be happy. Well things started out good, and then gotten worse. He makes me feel that everything going on is my fault, that I am crazy, and on top of it all I found new women numbers in his phone, and condoms in his truck. I don't trust him, he lies all the time and try to make me feel like I am the one out there running around, when I am not. He acts as if he doen't care about my feelings, and that he is always right. He makes me feel like if we argue about something he is doing ,then I don't deserve to sleep in the bed, or I dont deserve gifts for the holidays or birthday, and I dont deserve to talk to him, and most times he acts if i don't deserve sex.I am really hurting by this, but I should have known that if he did it to his wife, he will do it to me, especially now, since he thinks I was pressuring him into a relationship, when we have already been in one for 7 years now. When he was with his wife all of his words was different that he wanted to be with me and make me permanent if he wasnt still married, well wife is gone and I still have no label, I really feel like a cheap rug, that he has used, and I am trying to get my self esteem back up and find the strength to leave because deep down inside my heart is broken and I love him, but I see now that this was a mistake and never to find myself in this situation again, no matter how much he begs. The funny part about it is he still think that we can remain good friends after he has done this to me, but sadly he dont realize he has really hurt me and there is nothing he can do to undo what he has done to me.
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cheap, condom, married man, moved in, self esteem Reply to this Question
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male
reader, IHateWomanBeaters +, writes (21 July 2010):
 honestly, is it really a surprise? [Mod Note cleaned up language].You moved in with a cheating husband. Of course he is going to cheat on you.Leave the moron and don't ignore the obvious signs ever again.
A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (11 December 2009):
 Your is very shocking experience, really. there is no fault of yours, that you choose married men. It is ok. Every men has right to correct his mistaken choice. But, your men do not mean it for right relations. He want sex without relations. For him sex is just biological need only, and it has no connection with human spiritual need.
I think, it is always difficult to find out real motivation. It is perhaps your bad luck, or bad accident.If possible, remove these written page from your memory box, take longer rest, and very later try to re-organize life.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2009): i am so glad his wife is rid of this cheap piece of sh1t. sorry you have him but then you knew he was married and well what goes around comes around.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): I am sorry you are going through this, the only way to build your self esteem back up is to leave him, if you stay its just gonna get stomped on over and over again, and eventually you will feel so weak that you wont ever have the courage. And I'm happy to hear that you're taking this life learning experience to heart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (4 December 2009):
 I'm sorry you are in this jam, but you put yourself there. You knew he was married, you knew is wasn't available, yet you still pursued a relationship with him.
Imagine all the lies and deceit he ex-wife suffered because of his relationship with you. It is a pattern for him. He got used to lying and cheating, now he can't seem to stop. What is even worse, is he wants YOU to take the full responsibility for his failed marriage, for HIS actions. I'm guessing he finally realized how many lives he screwed up by being a cheat. Since you were the one he cheated with it is EASIER for him to put the blame on you.
Sorry, it's time for you to cut your losses and move on ,he will NOT STOP his behavior and by staying with him your enabling him.
He cheated on his wife, what made you think he would do the same to you?
All this is about him and his actions. Learn from it. Find a SINGLE man next time.
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (4 December 2009):
I am also sorry you have been with this guy for so long. He is a loser and he used you. Never date a married guy because they just want one thing, ...sex. And now that is all he wants as well. Move out and find a guy that is not attached to anybody else and a guy that will treat you like you are special and not just an object. He really sounds like a creep. Learn from this experience and look for a single guy who really wants a relationship from the very start.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): You are now experiencing the pain his wife felt when he was cheating on her.. with you...
Once a cheater always a cheater, so get out now and use this as a vauable lesson.... stay away from married men!!
He will continue to treat you badly because that is all he knows how to do, and your self exteem is going to be non existant if you hang around any longer.
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A
female
reader, Shan25 +, writes (4 December 2009):
Im sorry you keep seeing him for so long. when a man cheats on his wife its exciting for him. he treats you the way he thinks you put out. you was the other woman the one that keep his cheating secret in his eyes it was nothing but sex with a few good words thrown in sometimes to keep you where he wanted you. never think for one second that a man will respect you if you allow him to cheat on his wife. the way you get him is always the way he leaves you
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A
female
reader, Libra1963  +, writes (4 December 2009):
 Its never a good idea to get involved with married men. They made a comment to someone else legally. If he did not love this woman he would not have committed to her. Its hard enough trying to get men up the aisle so it was a big thing.
Most men will get a piece of cake if they are offered it. You offfered for 7 years. All of this time he did not indicate that his relationship was in trouble or showed any indication that he wanted to be with you.
His wife must of caught on and she left, knocked his echo and he blamed you! That's way he has been treating you badly.
Do not allow yourself to be a door mat. Have more self respect. There is more to life than sex. If a man really wants to be with you, let them show you by their actions outside of the bedroom.
Glad you have realised how you have been destroying yourself.
Best Wishes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 December 2009): First let me say i am sorry for your pain.. you both were obviously used by this man... but i also have to say "you cant make a hooker a housewife"... So with your lesson learned you now know what its like to be the wife so to speak... although your hurting right now you are better off. both of you are.
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