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Is there such as a thing as a counsellor or psychiatrist that specialises in sexual issues?

Tagged as: Cheating, Health, Sex, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 4 December 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Is there such as a thing as a councellor/psychiatrist that specialises in sexual issues? And if so how do I arrange to see one?

When I was 7 my Dad went into prison for sexual harassment on teenage girls. When I was a teenager I had very strict guidelines on the circumstances in which I could see him and everyone was oversensitive about sex towards me, particularly my mother who had been sexually assaulted by him a few times. I have his blood in me, which gives me an incredibly high sex drive which causes me a lot of problems and guilt.

Also, when I was about 10 my next door neighbour was babysitting and made me touch his penis. And when I was 16 I pretended to be 18 and did some nude modelling which subsequently lead to me being in a situation where I was alone and naked in a strangers house in a strange city and ended up pretending to consent to sexual relations with a photographer because it was a better alternative to being raped by him.

Then I very nearly became a prostitute, I arranged sexual acts and the fees I would receive but in the end I never went through with it, even though I was talking to a number of men online about it for months.

Now I'm in a healthy stable relationship and I'm completely destroying it because I can't stop cheating on him with a male admirer who I like purely because he's incredibly passionate and makes a lot of noise when I pleasure him.

I'm basically a complete mess sexually, it's like a sickness and I've finally reached breaking point. I've had councelling for my issues in the past but have been too embarrassed to speak to them about the sexual side of things, because I'm not sure if they're qualified to deal with that kind of thing. Please don't judge me for the above mentioned things, I already hate myself enough, that's why I need the councelling. Thanks.

View related questions: neighbour, prostitute, sex drive

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A female reader, bitch United States +, writes (4 December 2009):

You should not be afraid to ask for help. Asking for help is the best thing you can do for yourself. Please look up SAA (sex addiction annoynmous) online for further assistance and to find an expert in your area. I think that they could help you greatly. You might be a sex addict. You can get help.

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (3 December 2009):

Miamine agony auntNo Judgement babes, your just confused and trying to find your way. All counsellors can deal with sexual issues, you just need to find one you like, and in time everything will come out. Part of the job of a counsellor is getting you to the position where you trust them enough to tell them what the real problems are. You have been brave enough to come here and tell us what is going on in your life. That's a very big step and you should feel proud of yourself.

Yes, deep confusion about how to have a good relationship towards sex, and more love and respect for yourself. Sounds like your destructive sexually, because you feel guilt in some way. Sex to you sounds like a power thing, and a good counsellor will help you overcome this. Books can help, see if you can find some stories about how women get over incest, rape, or abuse. They also have outstanding sex issues, hearing their stories may help you too. Otherwise, do what you've done here today. Get a piece of paper, and write down all the bad things that have happened, and how you feel about them. If you don't feel like writing, then draw down some of the feelings you get when you think about your past.

But really only a counsellor will do, you need someone to talk to. The samaritans are good, just to listen, and telling someone your story is the first way in you gaining back control over your life and finding some self respect and love.

Let's think of your "affair" as an addiction, like alcohol, and like alcohol, you need to stay away from this guy, untill you are stronger and more in control of your emotions and your life. Lots of work to do babes, please arrange to see another counsellor, write down a list of what you want to tell them, and if you can't say it, just give them the piece of paper, so they can work on the real issues that are bothering you. I wish you luck, you did a brave thing in coming here and trying to look at the things that are holding you back in life.

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