A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My wife has been cheating on me for so many times and i still forgive her.I know its stupid of me but i don't want our family to be torn apart.shes a good liar and a really selfish bitch.One time,she said shes going to throw the trash and i was watching TV at that time.I notice shes been outside for awhile and the phone was missing.I happen to press the speaker button and caught her talking to another guy on the phone saying how shes going to pleasure him.I was furious so i throw all her clothes outside and kick her out the house. After 3 days that she staying at her sister's house.I visit her and she convince me that she will never cheat ever.So again, i gave her a chance and i accept her back in the house.But, i feel that she might do the same shit again.What should i do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to thank all of you for responding to my problem.I decided to accept her back as really stupid as i am.I don't know what ill do if ever shell go back and cheat on me again.she said she will do her best to change for our family.Also,if i don't accept her.She said she will take my kid and make me pay child support.She will bring my kid to a very far place where i wont be able to see her everyday and that scared me.that's one of the reason i accept her back.its really my kid why i couldn't get rid of her easily.i just pray shell change for the better.Whatever the outcome,i hope it will turn out good.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 December 2009): I always wondered what exactly a door mat sounded like.
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A
female
reader, bitch +, writes (26 December 2009):
I am sorry. Be strong, and end this bad relationship once and for all. dont ever go back. Stay strong, and find a better life. You can do this!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 December 2009): She'll do it again. She's probably got low self esteem and won't do anything about it. Leave her, and if you have kids, make sure to stay in their lives as a good father.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 You should be asking yourself WHY. You should go to couples counseling to understand why she does this. Perhaps she is a sex addict. Perhaps she just doesn't love you anymore, or her feelings for you have changed. Perhaps she's addicted to the thrill of being caught. Whatever the reason instead of forgiving her, you need to understand what drives her to do this because if she no longer loves you, it's time to divorce her and move on. Continuing to put up with it does not make you the better person, it makes you a fool.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 I am advising you something different...First thing you need her for the sake of your children, and sure you do not respecting her for what she is...read what is different.
Then calm down your emotion. Emotion is appreciation of some value. Now you cannot hold your wife as value, not in a sexual sense. However as a being responsible father you cannot decide to divorce her at once is your minus point, and it became her plus point. With this fact she has plotted her game.
Now you became good observer and learner. Be friendly with her, talk with her about her sexual adventure as if you are enjoying. Remember she is also cheater with other gay, and she will not afford your interest and your learning, because she is cheater. This will put her in tension. My own observation say, cheater are not sexy, they are sexless and play with those who are needy. As far as you appear as needy, she will play with need....This will help you in arriving at right decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): As long as she feels that no matter what she does you will just put up with it, she's not going to stop. She believes that you cannot live without her. It's time for you to decide. Are you going to live the rest of your life with a serial cheater? She will not stop! Quit whining you all read know the answer to your problem. Grow some balls and make the decision.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 December 2009): okay if your wife keeps cheating on you then dont stay with her because maybe ur not giving her enough need.Its not right when ur married to cheat on ur husband or wife.So its hard to loose someone you love but i think its the right thing or your going to keep getting hurt and i dont think you wannt that.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (25 December 2009):
Yes she'll do it again. End it and find someone who won't. You deserve better than this woman.
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (25 December 2009):
 Yup...sounds like she is a repeat offender. She will continue because she knows you will always come running. Until she faces a future of having no security and no one to forgive her for all the s**t shes putting you through...she will continue.
You obviously love her, but you should also have love and respect for yourself!!
Not sure if you have kids and if you do, I totally admire your determination to keep the family together, but unless she changes, you will all suffer in the long run.
If you can bear it, work out your finances and support system for the kids and then insist of a formal separation. She needs to have a wake up call of what life is really like when you have to struggle alone.
Let her know that you will absolutely NOT allow her to be so disrespectful to you and your children (if any).
Don't allow her back until she is on her knees and is begging for forgiveness!
If she still continues to cheat, gather as much evidence as you can and call a divorce lawyer...the law is on your side and it is possible to recover and move on.
I sympathise with you!!
AE xxx
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A
female
reader, klc5252 +, writes (25 December 2009):
keep your self respect. she obviously has no feelings or regret...why do you forgive her? you dont think you deserve more from her? im sorry but that is bullshit and you know it.you letting her give you those lies just lets her know she can walk all over you.
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A
male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (25 December 2009):
 Yes, she will cheat again unless you do something different from what you are doing now.
How is your sex life? What is your wife not getting from you?
You need to stake your turf. A little old fashioned intimidation of the guy who is messing with your wife would not be inappropriate.
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