He said he'd never get married again after his divorce, but where does that leave me?
Q. Hi. My boyfriend of almost a year is 35 and divorced (he married young and was divorced by the time he was 23). In general conversation the other day he mentioned that he will never remarry because he's 'been there and done that'. My problem ...
A. 27 June 2005: You should definately be straight up about this one...Tell him, where you are not in a hurry you do want marriage and give him a realistic timeline...If it isnt owrking ...find someone who wants the same thing you do.... (read in full...)
Is the spark gone from our relationship? All I do is chase him and he doesn't seem to care...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half and I love him deeply. The problem is that I do way too much for him and he knows that well and thanks me a lot for that and swears that I'm the most important thing in his life. Unfort...
A. 27 June 2005: Based on what you are saying, I think that your being readily accessable has him taking advantage of the situation.....A life of your own would come in handy here...If his behavior continues, consider someone who has more to offer YOU.... (read in full...)
My ex gets thrown out and he comes to stay with me...
Q. My ex now lives with someone else. Since last year he has been back to me 3 times since he moved in with her & stays for over a week. He also comes up on other occasions (she claims she throws him out). I have told her what he's doing. She don't se...
A. 27 June 2005: If you dont like it,SAY NO!! to HIM!!....he is using you ...cut him loose . This is not your problem and you shouldnt let it become your problem either.... (read in full...)
He'd rather smoke his cannabis than spend time with me. What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend has started to smoke cannabis nearly every night and seems like he is starting to get hooked on it. We hardly see each other anymore cos I don't want to be around him while he is smoking it. All my mates I've asked say I should dump him...
A. 26 June 2005: he has already made his choice ...cannabis...you should find someone who's choice is you.... (read in full...)
I'm not gay, but I'm getting interested in my bisexual friend...
Q. Hi, I have a problem, I'm a 17 yr old male and I've got a male friend who is 18. He is bisexual but he is going out with a girl who I know and she is bisexual as well. I spoke to him about it and he says he likes girls 70% and boys 30%. Someti...
A. 26 June 2005: Being bisexual is fine and exploring that option is fine...but think hard about doing that with a friend..if it turns out it is NOT something you want it can seriuously screw up a friendship.... (read in full...)
We do nothing but argue because I keep imagining he's cheating on me!
Q. My hubby and I have been together for 5 yrs, married 4 and we have always had a very good and open relationship. Lately I have lost all trust in him even though he has done nothing to start this. I feel like I am pushing him away because I keep t...
A. 26 June 2005: Are you sure the problem is imagined cheating?
You mention drinking habits...another problem that you need to talk about...As far as the cheating goes..unless you have REAL proof of something...BACKOFF and clean up YOUR act...or you are gonna be s... (read in full...)
My folks would be happier if I was in a cage. They won't let me do anything!
Q. My parents are so over protective its unbelievable. They won't let me do the fun things that most teenagers do! What do I do? It is summer now and they get angry if I go out with my mates even in the daytime! I am 16 years old for heavens sake. I ...
A. 23 June 2005: Please! Do not hurt yourself! I cannot speak for them but maybe a voluntary action on your part will help,like ( for a few months) when you are out and about, call home...tell them where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. I know it ... (read in full...)
Was I out of line being offended that my female friend would show an interest in someone else?
Q. I had a very regrettable night the other night with my female companion who I have known for over 2 years. We were just doing the usual thing, having a drink at the table we were at the club we regularly go to. All of a sudden this guy decides ...
A. 23 June 2005: You say "partner" , so I will assume she is not a girlfriend. The other guy's behavior was Tacky and classless but her positive response is her business if you cannot claim a relationship outside of friends...but maybe you should look at your ... (read in full...)
After she told me that we have sex "wrong", I was at a total loss...
Q. I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Recently though, she has told me that I have sex wrong. Maybe not "wrong" but that it's just sex to me. I love the girl to death. To be honest, I feel I love her more than she me, but this is ...
A. 23 June 2005: yeah ....You need more information...Tell her you are lost and why...especially the part about not just sex,,,but sex with her,,,If she feels it is "wrong" she needs to explain what she sees as "right"....good luck!!!!... (read in full...)
My mother is in denial, and my sister doesn't know, but my dad is keen on Sis's boyfriend!
Q. Make sure you are sitting down for this awful situation I have found myself in. My father has taken to my sister's boyfriend. I dont mean that in a platonic way and will spare you the gruesome details for your own personal sanity. I have brought ...
A. 23 June 2005: If you absolutely HAVE to tell someone...tell dad...and let him do what he thinks is best...Being the bearer of that kind of news will endear you to no one!!,,,... (read in full...)
I just want my girlfriend to admit that the porn on the laptop is hers, but she won't...
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for about a year now. We've had our ups and downs just like anyone else, but recently we've been arguing often. Recently, I accessed her laptop and found cookies with evidence of porn and videos. I decided ...
A. 23 June 2005: let it go!...but if hers is "personal" so is yours and she loses the right to say anything to you about your habits, until she can tell you how these things "miraculously" appeared on hers...You both know how they got there...... (read in full...)
My wife can't see that I'm a better partner than her (male) friend!
Q. My wife and I have been together for about 8 yrs now. 5 yrs before marrige and 3 after. We have a son 1.5 yrs old. Before marriage my wife was attracted to her best friend who was also in love with her. She admitted that to me and we worked through ...
A. 8 June 2005: Friends are fine but this one is interfering. ...Stand up for your marriage and family...him or you and child ..pick honey!... (read in full...)
Are there any circumstances where it's OK to hit someone?
Q. Can anyone please tell me if there are ever circumstances where it is understandable to hit a woman? Picture a scene of a grump, overweight and lazy woman who constantly nags her husband when he comes in from work, shattered. She won't leave hi...
A. 8 June 2005: Only in self defense!!.otherwise NO!!!... (read in full...)
He never stops ogling other women!
Q. My husband is constantly looking at other women. He has been totally faithful to me but his incessant ogling is really upsetting. He does it in the car, grocery store, everytwhere we go. Is there anything to be done about this?...
A. 8 June 2005: Has he always done this? Is it new? You dont say...if he has always done it..it wont change and if he is faithful what is the problem ? If it is new, ask him!!!.Whats up honey? You didnt do this before..anything I can help with?... (read in full...)
I haven't told Mum yet that my boyfriend is 33...
Q. My question is whether to tell my mum I'm seeing an older guy. I'm 17 and I've been seeing a 33 year old for 11 months. My mum thinks he 20 as I haven't had the courage to tell her the truth... I'm scared what her reaction will be and I really don't ...
A. 8 June 2005: How old does the boyfriend think you are?...A 33 year old dating a 17 year old?....RETHINK!!!!!.Mom should be wondering about that situation! ... (read in full...)
I'd like to get a job too, but would it kill off our relationship?
Q. My boyfriend is an otr truck driver. We have been talking about me getting a full time job. I have no problem with doing this, but it would mean never seeing each other when he is home. That would end up killing our relationship. What should I do? ...
A. 8 June 2005: Find a job somewhere that is not open on weekends....Truck drivers ...drive trucks and that rarely changes.( i am happily married to one )..so YOU have to find something that accomidates that!... (read in full...)
The sex is great, but neither of us can find my girlfriend's clitoris!
Q. HELP! I have been in a loving relationship with my girlfriend for several years. In all that time sex has been great but for one thing, my girlfriend never has an orgasm. She tells me she doesnt have a clitoris...neither of us can locate it. ...
A. 8 June 2005: If your sex life is that good ,forget about it!!...If you are really concerned about her medically she can have a doctor examine her...But is it really important if things are that good without it? ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend walked away from me and his unborn son. How could he do that?
Q. I'm 6 months pregnant and my partner recently left me. He wants nothing to do with me or his unborn son. He already has a daughter. How can he do this? The pain is ripping me to bits and I don't know what to do. Please can you help me? We were tog...
A. 8 June 2005: He is not interested in being daddy and has made it abundantly clear..You on the other hand have a child to concern yourself with...make sure you get the child support and move on...find a man who isnt afraid of fatherhood perhaps?... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is stressed at work and I feel lonely and rejected...
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. Everything was going really well until recently when he has started having major problems at work, having to work late or over weekends. All of his attention is on this now and we hardly ever spea...
A. 8 June 2005: Keep in mind that his job might never change...if it is stress , less demands from you is helpful...but becareful The job ( if it is the job)might just take him away completely...if it does reconsider your needs too....maybe he needs a reality ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant on your first time?
Q. Can you get pregnant the first time you have sex, and you have sex without using contraception? I'm still a virgin but I worry about these things all the time. Please help. ...
A. 8 June 2005: YES YES YES YES.............and YES!!!!... (read in full...)
My husband is a twin. Could I be carrying twin babies?
Q. I'm 12 weeks pregnant first time mum & I'm 34 years old.What are my chances of having twins.My husband is a twin. Thank you....
A. 8 June 2005: you could be..but it is unlikely...rarely does a twin have twin children...... (read in full...)
My fiance has recently changed his mind about us having kids! What do I do?
Q. I have been in a relationship with my fiance for 4 years and we have lived together for 3 and I love him very much. We have always talked about our plans for the future and he knows I have always wanted kids eventually (NOT NOW) and he said he ...
A. 8 June 2005: Find out where the change of heart came from...and why!...If you think that for one minute he is really thinking NO and you are thinking YES..reconsider this union no matter how much you love him...the issue of children is especially sensitive and ... (read in full...)
Sometimes I think my truck-driving husband would prefer being on the road to being with me!
Q. My husband and I have been married for 2 years. He is a truck driver and has always made accomodations to be home. He promised me that after we got married he wouldn't go back over the road, recently he has. I often tried talking to him about this ...
A. 8 June 2005: I am married to a trucker...he is away a lot. He loves his job , Just like I love mine!! Gonna be married to one you have to accept that, period. That does not stop him from loving me, or me loving him. But it does make the time we have together ... (read in full...)
I don't want my ex back... I just want him to acknowledge that I was a good woman!
Q. For the past year I have been dating a man, 19 years my senior. He was overseas for almost 20 years and decided to come back home, giving an impression that he was wealthy and had his own business. It later transpired he is broke and lives his ...
A. 7 June 2005: This is not about your ex at all...it is about how you see yourself...Look in the mirror ...do you see a good woman? ...Thats the only opinion of you that matters...Onward and Upward dear!!!... (read in full...)
My feelings have grown stronger than friendship, but I don't want to wreck what we have...
Q. Dear Cupid, I have been close friends with a woman now for over a year but am scared that I am growing feelings for her. I’m 34 and she’s 32. We got to know each other through chatting on the Internet after we both had split from our long-term...
A. 29 May 2005: As a wise person once said, "It is better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all". Tell her!!! She might need to know that someone thinks she is wonderful,and wants to share thier life with her.!!!... (read in full...)
Sex is so infrequent now that I wonder if I should even bother staying with him...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 2.5 years and get along pretty great. I am in love with him and I know he is with me. When we first met, we used to have sex frequently, now it is maybe once every 3-4 months. I would like to be with him...
A. 29 May 2005: Maybe try being a little less accessible. Go have a life without him for a while ( not a sexual one). The lure of the things we cannot have can be very persuasive. It could be he has gotten just a little too comfy in this relationship. But frankly ... (read in full...)
I've fallen hard for my online boyfriend, but he has one odd and annoying habit...
Q. I have been chatting to this guy on the net for 9 months now. I have fallen so hard for him and he has told me that he feels the same way. We get along so well most of the time, but he has this habit of going offline when we have an argument and ...
A. 29 May 2005: Yes online relationships can, and do, work in real life...Ours did! But that said, if you are always the one that goes to him, stop doing it and see what happens. If he comes back, do what you must: but if not, there's your answer!! But keep in mind ... (read in full...)
Even after four years, I can't get Holly off my mind and I can't move on!
Q. Hi Everyone, Thanks first for anyone who reads this. I do have a love related dilemma and it is taking over my life. And it has done really for the past 5 years. I am 25 now, but when I was 18 I started my first job as an office junior. I reall...
A. 29 May 2005: This sounds VERY much like a one sided relationship...your side. There is NO return from Holly in any way. She has continued on living her life and having her family and made NO effort to contact you outside of friendship. Get on with YOUR life and ... (read in full...)
My husband keeps promising we'll have time together, but he never comes through. Why am I here?
Q. My husband is always playing a computer game call Dark Ages of Camelot. He says it relieves his stress. He works 80 hours a week and sometimes weekends. We have 2 kids and have been together 16 years. Always the same problem: No attention for me. ...
A. 29 May 2005: Maybe you should be asking him these questions since he is the only one who has the answers! and it is answers you should be getting. Tell him point blank, if he does not have straight answers for you then you are going to have to come up with some ... (read in full...)
My husband & I had problems and I found a lover. Now I can't choose between them...
Q. hi...I'm currently facing a dilemma. I've been married for 18 months after a 1 year relationship and I'm 22. Me and my husband moved to another country after few months to start up a life together in a different environment. I was feeling quite lo...
A. 28 May 2005: Cheating is wrong!.Period!! If hubby was violent before wait till he finds out about loverboy ( and he will). You looked to someone else because he was easier to deal with than your husband. You will not have success in that relationship until you ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid that my ex might say something to my fiance to break us up!
Q. My fiance' is going to treatment for a drug problem. This is great because he is taking it seriously. The problem is that one of my exes is in the same treatment facility. I have never told my fiance' of this man and I am afraid that my ex is go...
A. 28 May 2005: Relax! If it happens, deal with it. There is no shame in having an ex-boyfriend and one that didnt get mentioned is usually one that didn't matter enough to GET mentioned. If you really do not want this to happen ,do not go out of your way to be the ... (read in full...)
How do I get over this shyness so I can talk to the office girls?
Q. I am desperately shy and really want to be able to talk to the two new girls in my office. They are both lovely but I start to sweat as soon as they come near me! Please help.........
A. 28 May 2005: Say "Hi!, How are you?" It is okay! And a good place to start. Be open and friendly, just like you would with anyone else...they will love it!!!... (read in full...)
I took my boyfriend home to meet the family, and he snogged my sister!
Q. I really need someone's advice....I brought home my boyfriend of about 3 months to my family and they all seemed to like him. My older sister has had a steady boyfriend of about 2 years and he was there too. Me and my partner get on really well and...
A. 28 May 2005: If this is a one time thing, let it go. Sounds like he wants to. The big sister sounds like she is bored and playing games at your expense. Get on with the realtionship if you still want to....... (read in full...)
We've been dating for a month and she now admits she was "waiting for something to go wrong"...
Q. I have a question, and maybe you guys can help me out. I've been together with this great girl for a month now. Out of the 31 days, we saw each other on probably 20 occassions, and those where we didn't we talked a lot on the phone. For t...
A. 28 May 2005: She has probably had a past relationships start going wrong at about this stage and is waiting for the other shoe to drop. Or she is thinking it is too serious too fast and looking for a way to back up two steps, without saying so. Talk to her and ... (read in full...)
When we argue, he throws me out of our shared house. What can I do?
Q. My bf and I live together. We lease our house from a member of his family. Every time we have an arguement he either throws me out or says I should look into getting my own place. As far as I am concerned the house is our own place and he knows ...
A. 28 May 2005: You need to put an end to this or it will go on forever!!! Find away out of the house agreement or get your own room.Take him up on the offer and see what he does. You will know very quickly if he is serious or not. But be prepared to hold him to ... (read in full...)
My b/f claims he looks at porn out of "boredom". Is that possible?
Q. Hello. I see from having looked at your site that this is a common problem. My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years. We have a wonderful friendship and we are very affectionate towards each other. Our sex life has been fairly s...
A. 28 May 2005: You are getting things out of place. Sex and love are NOT the same thing!!! And you need to take this issue A LOT LESS personally. A lagging sex life is a matter of time and requires work from both sides to keep it going. His interest in porn as a ... (read in full...)
Trying to get back together with my fiance, but we've hit an impasse on the issue of kids...
Q. I am currently in the process of getting back together with my ex-fiance. We broke up just over a year ago as I felt trapped and not ready to make the commitment as I was very young (19) when we got engaged. However, during the year apart I have b...
A. 28 May 2005: Sorry, There is no way around this issue. If you want children you need to find someone else. To have babies with someone who has said quite clearly he does not want them is to doom the children, and your relationship. His reasons for not wanting a ... (read in full...)
I told her I didn't want to be friends and we broke up... but did I do the right thing?
Q. Well I dumped my girlfriend because she was found asleep in the same bed as the guy that cheated on my sister. She said they were just friends and I should trust her because they didn't do anything wrong. I was also told that she was dancing ...
A. 28 May 2005: Yes, You did the right thing. She has shown that she has NO respect for her relationship with you. That's not gonna change if she cannot admit that her behavior was inappropriate..... (read in full...)
Should I be worried about his interest in porn magazines?
Q. I have been with my partner for about a year now. He works away a lot and when he asked me to join him for a week I jumped at the chance. While he was out working I was left in his hotel room and I came across some porn mags. I was really upset ...
A. 25 May 2005: You are being selfish. If he is a healthy male, an interest sex is still a strong urge and that is a good thing. If he was chasing other women it would be a different story but one does not automatically lead to the other, and he isn't trying to ... (read in full...)
My husband is the kindest and sweetest man, but I can't stop thinking of someone else!
Q. I met this man before I married my husband. I felt like it was love at first sight, from the minute I saw him I have not stopped thinking about him. We met about 5 years ago and every day I think about him. I love my husband and nothing has ever...
A. 25 May 2005: Oh, the lure of forbidden fruit!!!! Stay away from the other dude. You said yourself, your husband is an awesome human being. Take pride in that and cherish it. A good man is WAY too hard to find...Consider yourself blessed.... (read in full...)
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