| A ,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now. Recently though, she has told me that I have sex wrong. Maybe not "wrong" but that it's just sex to me. I love the girl to death. To be honest, I feel I love her more than she me, but this is getting me off track. Pretty much, she says I don't show that I love her during sex. I am at a complete loss. I thought sex was awesome! She's been the only girl I've ever been with, but she's been with others (before me). What am I doing wrong? It's killing me. I dont want to have sex because I'm scared now, I do it wrong. But on the other hand, I am a guy and want sex really bad. and not just sex, I want sex with her!!! Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2006): research on google how to have sex and satisfy your partna!
dont just do it for your self
A
reader, becky05 +, writes (19 July 2005):
im not quite sure how you could have sex "wrong". ask her what she means by this.
...............................
A
reader, Wildberries +, writes (23 June 2005):
yeah ....You need more information...Tell her you are lost and why...especially the part about not just sex,,,but sex with her,,,If she feels it is "wrong" she needs to explain what she sees as "right"....good luck!!!!
...............................
A
reader, kt  +, writes (21 June 2005):
 hi next time you have sex tell her that you love her. keep telling her, so she knows. also ask her what your doing wrong at least thenshe cant say that you havent tried to try and you can find out what you are doing wrong and change.good luck!!
...............................
A
reader, NordicBeauty +, writes (20 June 2005):
If you really TRULY love this girl, then push your male pride aside & have a heart to heart...EYE TO EYE conversation with her about this issue.Yu've been dating 2 years & she FINALLY told you that you don't show her love during sex...that took courage on her part...Wow she must have been scared to spit that out !She was brave enough to be honest...now YOU be brave enough to take a look at your love making techniques.You may FEEL in your heart that you love her, but you need to SHOW it when you are sexually intimate with her.If you ignore her feelings...you will lose her.The choice is yours.
...............................
A
reader, communicatrix +, writes (18 June 2005):
 You say you "love the girl to death" but I'm wondering: if you've been going out for two years and she doesn't feel like you two are connecting during sex while you think the sex is awesome, how exactly is this profound love manifesting itself?
In other words, what is the baseline level of communication in this relationship? Do you guys talk a lot, both about meaningful and silly, inconsequential things? Do you pay attention to her outside of sex, remembering the joys/fears/etc. she brings up so that she feels seen and heard? Are you thoughtful of her needs when you're together so that when you're apart, she knows you're thinking about her? Do you make this girl feel like the most beloved, worshipped woman on the planet just by the way you look at her?
Do you tell her how much you love her, like her and think the sex is the greatest both during sex and just randomly—quietly before the movie starts or while you're driving somewhere?
Because I gotta tell ya, even from the little you've told me, it sounds like there's not a lot of real communication happening here.
I know you two are kids and most people don't get good at communicating until they're older (if ever), but why not be smart kids and get a head start. Start by telling her everything you've told me, with emphasis on how much you love her and how stupid this makes you feel and how you really really really want to learn what she likes in bed because she's the greatest thing that ever happened to you and you want to show her that everywhere.
Then do some work on your own. In general, slooooow down. If you really take her in, if you go slowly and really touch her and look at her and give yourself time to feel what you're feeling and feel what she's feeling, you cannot help but connect with her in bed. That, my friend, is what's really sexy—for women, but for men, too.
Good luck!
...............................
A
reader, pops +, writes (18 June 2005):
Oh, good grief ! Ask her what you are doing wrong. And listen when she tells you. Study books on sex techniques. Get videos and watch them with her. But the Better Sex series from the Sinclair Institute. They are very good. Mostly, learn about the attitude of both people in the scenes. This is the " trick" to having a better sex life. By the way, just because she has been with other men does not make her an expert in the sex department when it comes to pleasing you. She should also be asking your questions. You may have been a virgin when you met her, but that does not mean you don't have feelings, dreams, etc. that you can use to tell her what you like, or would like to try with a lover. The rules of such a discussion is that all questions are okay, and each will be given an honest answer. No judgments about being a pervert, or disgusting , etc. Expect that most answers will be, " I don't know.", because neither of you is that experienced. pops.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 June 2005): There is no right or 'wrong way' when it comes down to sex,...Dont worry mate about that!......what I would suggest is you ask her exactly what she wants, and have a talk about it,...so she says you dont show her love? ASK HER how would she like YOU to show her love!
...............................
A
reader, D_Missy +, writes (18 June 2005):
How often do you two practice foreplay? For a girl, foreplay is everything. Sure a girl moans loud during the actual sex part...yadda yadda yadda...but if the foreplay sucks....the whole thing does. Try getting her into the bedroom by using many techniques and don't rush it. Take your time when pleasing her. This can include finger her, oral, massage, kissing, groping...not so much groping...fondling..theeeeere ya go. Just be sweet to her and give her as much attention as you can. During sex use many positions. Ask her what feels good. Don't be nervous about it. I love it when my partner asks things like that. Even when it doesn't feel that great, the question makes it feel amazing. Just knowing that the guy is concerned about how the girl feels will bring the girl around. Talk during sex and pay attention to her needs and I promise she'll pay attenition to yours! :)
...............................
|
