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anonymous
writes: I really need someone's advice....I brought home my boyfriend of about 3 months to my family and they all seemed to like him. My older sister has had a steady boyfriend of about 2 years and he was there too. Me and my partner get on really well and I was beginning to think that I could really love him....but then I found him kissing my older sister upstairs in my parents bed (My parent had left at that time) I couldn't believe it! My boyfriend claims he was drunk and doesnt want to talk about it but my sister doesn't even seem to care. I don't know what to do! They keep acting like it was nothing...now I'm paranoid hes going to go off with her. She skinnier than me and a lot prettier than me (a lot!) Should I confront her? I know my parents would take her side.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 August 2005): i think you should finish your boyfriend before it is too late and then tell your sister how you feel about it! if she doesn't apoliges then she is not a true sister! you trusted your sister and felt it was time for him to meet her! she obviously betrayed you and so did he! i think it is fair if you tell her steady boyfriend because she hurt you and broke you up and all she is doing is betraying her boyfriend it is time to move on go out with friends have some fun and don't worry!
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reader, Mickey_Powell +, writes (15 June 2005):
 Yes!! Confront her and then chuck him!! Then if she doent say anything like an apology you can threaten to tell her "steady boyfriend"If he loves you he shouldn't have done that even if he was drunk. Tell him its over you can do much better than that, your sister don't deserve her boyfriend!!
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reader, HappyTimeHarry +, writes (29 May 2005):
I read through this a couple times, and it seems like your problem is more about your sister than this guy, and it should be. Men come and go, but never forget your family. This is a low blow, but I think you need to get things straight with her. As to the boyfriend thing, what he did comes off as way too sleazy to me. You are a better person than I if you can forgive him. Confront your sister, but try to have love and forgiveness in your heart.
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reader, star3482 +, writes (28 May 2005):
Dump him. once a cheater always a cheater - and flirt with your sisters boyfriend to piss her off. Or better yet - tell him about her kissing your boyfriend and see if she's bothered then! if they can play games.... so can you!
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reader, Wildberries +, writes (28 May 2005):
If this is a one time thing, let it go. Sounds like he wants to. The big sister sounds like she is bored and playing games at your expense. Get on with the realtionship if you still want to....
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 May 2005): I think that you need to really look at why you are with your boyfriend. It does not sound like he is treating you with the respect that you deserve. You need to really discuss this with him and lay down some ground rules. Also, really assess whether the relationship has a future.The most important aspect in relationships is the mutual care and respect..if this is lacking, there is little there.With regards to your sister, she may be afraid of coming clean. Maybe she is envious of you. It can be quite common for siblings to try to muscle in on their sister's boyfriend. There can be a lot of competition. You say that she is prettier than you, well I am sure that you have many qualities that she may not have. Maybe you are more caring or more sensitive. Maybe your boyfriend loves these qualities in you. Looks are definitely not the be all and end all. Inner beauty is far more remarkable and is what makes a loving relationship.Above all, boyfriends and good looks are not things that bring us happiness in the long run. We don't gain the love and respect of others for these characteristics. Kindness, intelligence and sensitivity towards others are some of the qualities which are far more valuable. Look at yourself and find some of these qualities and have more respect for yourself. Then, you will find that you are not so bothered by the actions of your boyfriend and your sister.
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